I  SAID  NOTHING  ABOUT  FORGIVENESS 


Eve's  Second  Husband 


By 
CORRA   HARRIS 

Author  of  A  Circuit  Rider's  Wife 


ILLUSTRATED 


PHILADELPHIA 

HENRY  ALTEMUS  COMPANY 


Copyright,  1910,  by  The  Curtis  Publishing  Company 

Copyright,  1911,  by  The  Curtis  Publishing  Company 

Copyright,  1911,  by  Howard  E.  Altemus 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER  PAGE 

I.  THE  YOUNG  EDEN  WIDOW 9 

II.  ADAM  IN  EVE  's  GARDEN 35 

III.  EVE  SEES  ADAM  's  AURORA  BOREALIS 61 

IV.  EVE  SETS  A  LIGHT  IN  HER  WINDOW 83 

V.  EVE  FARMS  ADAM  >s  SOUL 101 

VI.  EVE  LAUGHS  AND  ADAM  "HAS  IT  IN  HIM" 123 

VII.  THE  FEUD 145 

VIII.  ADAM  THE  HERO  AND  THE  DEMAGOGUE 169 

IX.  ADAM  AND  EVE  BEGIN  THEIR  FAMILY 187 

X.  EVE  ENTERS  THE  MATERNAL  TRANCE 209 

XL  A  SENATORIAL  COMET  AND  AN  ADAMIC  LIE 229 

XII.  THE  SERPENT  CHEATS  EVE  OF  HER  ADAM 253 

XIII.  EVE  DISCOVERS  A  NEGLECTED  DIGIT  IN  HER  DO 
MESTIC   EQUATION 271 

XIV.  A  FAT  PHILOSOPHER  STARCHES  EVE  's  UPPER  LIP  . .  299 

XV.  "THE  AMERICAN  EVE" 323 

XVI.  A  GREAT  VANITY  SATISFIED 347 


RJ27116 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


I  Said  Nothing  About  Forgiveness Frontispiece 

''Flowers  Are  the  Dust  of  All  the  Women  That  Have 
Died  and  Been  Resurrected" Facing  page  114 

< '  Men  Have  Less  Courage  Than  the  Most  Timid  Woman 
in  Their  Dealings  with  Women" Facing  page  294 

We  Stood  Facing  One  Another  in  the  Moonlight  with 
the  Flowers  for  Witnesses Facing  page  330 


THE  YOUNG  EDEN 
WIDOW 


CHAPTER  I 

THE  YOUNG  EDEN   WIDOW 

WHAT  I  am  about  to  write  is  not  a 
story;  it  is  the  truth,  set  down  with 
no  more  style  in  the  telling  than 
shows  about  the  face  of  a  middle-aged  woman 
in  an  old-fashioned  sunbonnet.  There  is  a 
certain  truthfulness  in  women,  very  remote, 
hard  to  find,  harder  to  express,  that  never  is 
modish  enough  for  fiction  and  that  does  not 
even  belong  to  their  times,  but  to  just  them. 
It  is  homely,  double-chinned,  wears  a  sort  of 
prayer-hood,  walks  softly  before  the  Lord, 
keeps  an  Eve-eye  upon  man,  and  it  outlasts 
mere  styles  and  times,  like  the  whiskers  of 
Moses. 

9 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

If  you  find  it  in  what  I  am  about  to  tell 
you  will  recognize  it  by  the  manner  in  which 
it  differs  from  the  feminine  anemia  and  the 
backaching  matrimony  that  is  so  often  dram 
atized  in  the  fever-blistered,  neurasthenic 
novels  of  the  day. 

I  was  born  in  Booneville,  Boone  County, 
Tennessee,  a  small  town  on  the  Cumberland 
Eiver.  Father  kept  a  drug  store.  His  name, 
including  his  title,  was  Colonel  John  Spottes- 
wood  Langston.  He  had  simply  gravitated 
into  the  drug  business  because  it  was  the 
least  profitable.  He  was  the  only  aristocrat 
and  by  the  same  token  the  laziest  man  and 
most  influential  citizen  in  Booneville.  He  was 
a  tall,  withered-looking  person,  with  an  un 
becoming  military  mustache  and  a  nose  that 
proclaimed  his  lineage.  It  was  immense,  like 
a  noble  monument  to  many  honorable  ances 
tors.  The  rest  of  his  face  seemed  to  draw 
back  from  it,  as  if  unworthy  of  a  too  inti 
mate  association.  I  do  not  know  whether  my 
mother  respected  him  or  whether  she  merely 
10 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

accepted  him  as  women  do  curious  dispensa 
tions  of  Providence.  She  was  splendidly 
plebeian,  made  of  the  same  furrow-dust  that 
grows  great  corn.  She  was  large  and  brown, 
wrapped  in  a  kind  of  silence  that  seemed  to 
last  like  a  sort  of  spiritual  cerement  even 
when  she  talked.  She  believed  in  God  as 
you  believe  in  daybreak  while  it  is  yet  dark, 
and  she  was  as  frank  as  a  child  about  her 
prayers. 

We  lived  in  a  very  old  house  on  the  street 
that  ran  parallel  to  the  river.  There  were 
rows  of  boxwood  bordering  the  walk  from 
the  low  veranda  to  the  front  gate,  and  the 
greater  part  of  the  house  was  covered  with 
ivy.  All  the  houses  in  Booneville,  indeed, 
were  old  and  ugly  and  covered  with  honey 
suckle  or  madeira,  or  some  other  running  fig- 
leaf  of  Nature's  modesty. 

There  was  a  church  on  the  west  side  of  the 

town  that  had  the  air  of  keeping  a  perpetual 

Presbyterian  Sabbath ;  it  was  so  austerely  un- 

painted  and  weatherbeaten,  so  uncompromis- 

11 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ing  in  its  steeple  that  pointed  like  a  doctrinal 
forefinger  into  the  Heaven  of  heavens.  On 
a  hill  beyond  the  church  was  a  cemetery. 
And,  as  far  back  as  I  can  remember,  there 
was  always  to  be  seen  some  woman  in  this 
place  tending  her  graves.  This  is  the  nature 
of  women,  that  they  cannot  leave  the  dead 
to  bury  the  dead.  They  must  be  forever 
trying  to  resurrect  dear  dust,  at  least  into 
flowers.  And  in  the  late  afternoon,  when  the 
apple  boughs  cast  sweetly  swinging  shadows 
upon  the  red  and  brown  roofs  of  the  town, 
a  flock  of  geese  climbed  out  of  the  river  and 
took  their  stately  way  down  the  streets, 
quacking  of  the  time  when  they  saved  Rome. 
At  this  hour,  also,  there  issued  from  our 
house  the  aroma  of  strong  coffee  and  frying 
bacon.  The  supper  table  shone  white  in  the 
brown  gloom  of  the  old  house.  A  thousand 
fireflies  arose  from  the  grass  outside.  Father 
came  slowly  up  the  walk  between  the  rows 
of  boxwood.  Mother  untied  her  kitchen 
apron  and  laid  it  aside  as  a  priest  does  his 
12 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

cassock  when  altar  service  is  over,  and  we 
took  our  accustomed  places  at  the  table. 
Father  asked  a  "  blessing "•  — his  one  contri 
bution  to  faith  in  the  supernatural — and  we 
began  to  eat  in  that  kind  of  silence  persons 
acquire  who  know  each  other  so  well  that 
they  have  no  more  to  say. 

These  were  my  parents,  this  the  place  in 
which  I  lived  and  acquired  my  being.  It 
was  as  though  I  had  been  born  in  an  ode  or 
in  an  old  book  of  ballads.  There  is  nothing 
in  such  an  atmosphere  to  warn  men  and 
women  against  marriage.  The  unhappiness 
of  wives  wears  such  a  sweet  look  of  domestic 
placidity  that  no  one  suspects  it,  least  of  all 
the  wife.  I  am  sure  mother  never  knew  that 
she  was  not  happily  married.  She  had  re 
duced  her  sorrows  to  a  formula  of  prayers, 
and  enjoyed  them  in  a  pious  way.  Father, 
like  many  other  men  in  Booneville,  was  that 
very  emblem  of  contentment,  a  satisfied  fail 
ure.  People  accepted  their  marital  relations ; 
so  there  were  no  divorces. 
13 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

As  for  me,  I  read  life  by  the  blossom,  by 
the  blue  of  the  sky,  by  a  sweet  anticipation 
that  coincided  more  nearly  with  the  spring 
song  prophecies  of  birds  than  it  did  with  the 
resignation  of  mother's  face.  At  the  age  of 
eighteen  I  was  that  simplest  of  simple  crea 
tures,  a  village  belle  without  a  beau.  I  was 
what  was  called  "overgrown"  that  is  to  say, 
I  was  tall,  and  I  had  a  figure  of  an  integrity 
so  Grecian  that  I  was  never  able  to  draw  my 
waistline  into  a  fashionable  smallness.  Na 
ture  had  made  me  for  the  plow  of  destiny, 
for  the  deep  furrows  of  life.  The  fate  of  a 
small,  nervous,  fascinating  woman  would 
have  become  me  as  little  as  her  bonnet.  But 
no  one  warned  me.  My  face  was  plain,  be 
ing  too  large  and  expressionless  for  beauty, 
although  I  had  a  fair  skin  and  regular  fea 
tures.  And  in  this  connection  I  will  confess 
a  curious  hallucination  that  has  bewitched 
me — I  have  always  felt  beautiful.  Even  now, 
when  I  am  past  fifty  years  of  age,  with  no 
vestige  of  the  fairness  of  youth  left,  the  sen- 
14 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

sation  of  beauty  is  so  grave,  so  inwardly  con 
vincing,  that  to  look  suddenly  into  a  mirror 
and  behold  the  patient,  passionless  homeli 
ness  of  middle  age  invariably  confounds  me. 
Somewhere  far  within  it  does  not  resemble 
me — what  I  really  am.  I  have  a  young  im 
age  there  of  such  loveliness  that  it  is  a  mys 
tery  to  me  how  the  heavy  crown  of  buff-brown 
hair  I  once  had  ever  darkened  and  then 
turned  gray.  The  flesh  and  bones  of  me  tell 
lies  in  wrinkles  and  rheumatism. 

At  eighteen,  I  say,  I  had  such  an  appear 
ance  as  I  have  described,  and  an  expectation 
of  happiness  based  upon  the  evidences  of 
things  about  me.  So  I  went  a-courting — dis 
creetly,  of  course,  as  all  women  go.  I  arranged 
my  hair  into  a  golden  proclamation  of  this 
fact.  It  is  not  the  proclamation  that  is  writ 
ten  in  words  that  attracts  the  most  attention. 
I  wore  white  muslins  that  were  flags  of  sur 
render  to  love,  finished  with  little  lace  ruffles 
as  aimless-looking  as  a  coquette's  deceits. 
And  every  afternoon,  about  the  time  mother 
15 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

sat  down  behind  the  vines  on  our  veranda, 
with  the  darning-basket  before  her,  I  went 
forth  to  conquer  and  to  be  conquered.  Noth 
ing  could  have  been  more  innocent  or  effec 
tive. 

There  was  a  square  in  the  center  of  the 
town,  a  square  of  blazing  sunlight  scalloped 
by  the  irregular  shadows  of  the  "  business " 
houses  of  Booneville,  with  a  pump  and  a  pud 
dle  in  the  middle  of  it.  If  the  day  was  warm 
the  puddle  was  occupied  by  Colonel  Middle- 
brook's  sow — I  mention  the  sow  not  because 
she  will  figure  again  in  this  narrative,  but 
to  indicate  the  tolerance  and  democracy  of 
the  community. 

On  the  east  side  of  this  square  stood  the 
courthouse,  with  numerous  split-bottom 
chairs,  congregated  in  skeleton  groups  upon 
the  long  porch  that  reached  to  the  sidewalk. 
In  the  afternoon  these  chairs  were  occupied 
by  county  officials,  by  that  class  of  "leading 
citizens "  who  "controlled''  the  county  politi 
cally,  and  by  "promising  young  men." 
16 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Colonel -Middlebrook,  the  Boone  County  rep 
resentative,  was  the  bellwether  of  this  com 
pany.  He  was  a  large  man,  with  a  long  chin 
beard,  a  flat,  thin  upper  lip,  a  bald  head,  a 
balloting  eye  and  a  short  bull-terrier  nose. 
He  was  always  to  be  seen  hatless,  coatless, 
with  perspiration  spots  on  his  shirt,  waving 
a  palmetto  fan,  and  engaged  in  explaining  to 
his  comrades  how  to  save  the  state  from  the 
Eepublicans  in  the  next  election. 

There  was  a  long  line  of  horse-racks  on 
the  north  side  of  the  square,  to  which  were 
hitched  some  of  the  best-known  horses  and 
mules  in  Boone  County.  The  stores  where 
general  merchandise  was  sold  occupied  the 
south  side.  But  across  the  square,  opposite 
the  courthouse,  in  the  full  glare  of  the  after 
noon  sun,  stood  the  postoffice,  the  office  of 
the  Booneville  "Banner"  and  father's  drug 
store.  Beneath  the  awning  of  each  sat  the 
other  "leading  citizens "  of  Booneville,  those 
who  represented  the  reform  element  and  who 
stood  for  "law  and  order,"  and  for  all  those 

2— Eve's  Second  Husband.  "\ 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND^ 

ideals  that  distinguish  the  minority  every 
where  and  at  the  same  time  render  it  so  im 
potent. 

You  will  understand  why  it  has  been  so 
necessary  to  detain  you  with  a  description 
of  this  man-burdened  square  in  Booneville 
when  I  explain  that  it  was  also  the  trading- 
post  of  love.  In  the  afternoon  every  young 
girl  in  Booneville  made  the  circuit  of  the 
square  upon  one  pretext  or  another.  And 
I  cannot  forget  even  yet  the  trepidation,  the 
agonized  modesty,  with  which  I  accomplished 
this  pretty  pilgrimage — or  the  furious  dis 
appointment  I  experienced  if  something  pre 
vented  my  making  it.  To  pass  the  stores 
was  an  easy  matter.  One  could  be  interested 
in  the  show  windows,  where  there  was  a  dis 
play  of  prints  and  laces,  artificial  flowers  and 
fashionable  ladies '  shoes.  But  the  exquisitely 
feminine  suffering  with  which  I  advanced 
from  that  corner  to  the  next,  past  the  long 
courthouse  veranda,  can  only  be  understood 
by  a  woman  whose  nature  has  driven  her 
18 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

forth  to  similar  experiences.  Under  no  cir 
cumstances  could  I  have  lifted  my  eyes;  at 
the  same  time  I  was  conscious  of  the  gaze 
of  every  man  upon  the  veranda,  a  gaze  so  dis 
tressing  and  offensive  that  I  was  ready  to 
sink  with  mortification.  My  delicacy  was 
outraged,  my  eyes  suffused  with  tears.  Yet 
the  following  afternoon,  or  at  least  the  next 
after  that,  I  might  be  seen  again  undergoing 
the  same  torture,  cheeks  reddened  to  angry 
scarlet  at  some  compliment  overheard  from 
the  row  of  men  tilted  back  in  every  attitude 
of  insufferable  complacency;  or,  maybe,  a  low 
whistle  from  Clancy  Drew,  a  briefless  young 
attorney  in  the  company.  Nothing  can  be 
more  humorous  or  more  pathetic  than  this 
maiden-peddling  of  love.  Sophisticated 
women  never  succeed  at  it  so  well.  No  mat 
ter  how  chaste  they  are,  they  are  not  suffi 
ciently  virginal  in  their  minds.  Some  beam 
in  the  eye  betrays  them,  however  demurely 
they  go. 

So  far  you  have  seen  how  simple  this  nar- 
19 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

rative  is,  and  how  much  has  been  omitted 
for  the  sake  of  brevity.  I  have  recorded 
rather  than  dramatized,  regarding  this  part 
merely  as  the  preface  to  the  real  story,  which 
has  to  do,  as  the  title  implies,  with  my  sec 
ond  marriage  and  my  second  husband.  You 
have  missed,  for  example,  the  lazy  gossip,  the 
human  clatter  of  the  town,  the  sound  of  dron 
ing  cart  wheels  and  heavy  wagons  loaded 
with  corn,  the  tall  wains  of  hay  drawn  slowly 
along  the  streets.  You  do  not  see,  as  I  can 
in  memory,  through  the  open  windows  of 
Booneville,  the  faces  of  mothers  bending 
above  little  white-hooded  cradles  at  evening. 
You  do  not  hear,  as  I  can  hear,  the  churn- 
dasher  dashing  and  the  fresh  voice  of  some 
young  girl  singing,  "Come,  butter!  Come!" 
I  have  given  no  intimation  of  the  schism  in 
the  church.  You  have  not  been  informed  that 
my  Uncle  Sam  Langston  and  his  wife,  Aunt 
Betty,  also  lived  in  the  town,  although  the 
time  came  when  they  meddled  sadly  with  my 
happiness.  I  have  failed  to  bring  out  the 
20 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

fact  that  father  was,  when  away  from  home, 
the  most  talkative  man  in  the  world,  so  that 
to  this  day  the  vocative  strain  of  his  fancy 
flows  through  the  history  of  Booneville  like 
the  epic  of  a  dryland  Telemaque;  and  that 
there  was  a  feud  between  him  and  Dr.  David 
Marks,  arising  from  some  dispute  about  the 
character  of  a  certain  bitters  which  father 
sold;  a  harmless,  grandiloquent  feud,  con 
ducted  in  father's  great  manner  to  the  dis 
gust  of  the  good  old  doctor,  who  was  as  peace 
ful  as  a  cow.  I  ought  to  have  begun  with  the 
feud,  but  all  these  circumstances  will  appear 
in  their  proper  order. 

The  important  thing  to  note  now  is  that  I  am 
born,  I  am  christened  ' '  Eve ' '  after  my  grand 
mother.  (I  have  neglected  to  say  that  I  have 
the  oldest  woman-name  in  the  world.)  I  grow 
up  and  am  about  to  be  married.  The  bride 
groom  is  not  yet  in  sight,  to  be  sure;  but 
when  a  young  girl  begins  to  traipse  the  streets 
you  may  be  sure  some  young  man  will  come 
to  the  rescue  of  her  modesty — not  that  that 
21 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

is  what  lie  means  by  coming,  but  it  is  what 
it  means  to  the  poor  girl. 

Now,  when  a  woman  has  been  married 
twice  the  scenes  of  her  first  marriage  and 
the  character  of  her  first  husband  become 
the  memorial  background  upon  which  the  ex 
periences  of  the  second  marriage  are  cast. 
For  this  reason  I  must  detain  you  a  little 
longer  in  regard  to  this  first  wedding  and 
this  first  husband.  The  record  is  not  inter 
esting,  but  it  is  important. 

The  promenade  that  I  so  often  took  around 
the  square,  and  that  I  have  attempted  to  de 
scribe,  invariably  ended  at  father's  drug 
store.  It  was  here  that  I  met  Mr.  John  Knox 
Bailey.  He  not  only  belonged  to  the  reform 
party,  but  he  was  the  editor  of  the  Boone- 
ville  "Banner,"  which  he  conducted  in  the 
interests  of  that  party. 

This  is  not  the  time  to  touch  upon  the  cor 
ruptions  of  Booneville  and  of  Boone  County. 
They  were  sufficiently  numerous  and  scan 
dalous.  But  my  purpose  is  to  introduce  Mr. 
22 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Bailey,  to  whom  I  was  married  three  months 
from  the  day  I  met  him  in  father 's  drug  store. 
You  observe  that  I  write  it  "Mr.  Bailey "  still. 
Now,  when  a  woman  continues  to  refer  to  her 
husband  as  "Mister"  nearly  thirty  years  af 
ter  his  death  it  is  a  tribute  to  character,  to 
say  the  least  of  it.  And  I  would  as  soon  call 
the  Sphinx  by  its  maiden  name  as  to  refer, 
even  yet,  to  Mr.  Bailey  as  "John."  He  was 
.that  kind  of  man,  young,  but  with  a  long  white 
beard  hanging  from  the  chin  of  his  dignity. 
He  was  of  medium  height,  and  he  had  a 
countenance  that  never  changed.  It  was  a 
sort  of  covenant,  surmounted  by  a  shock  of 
stiff  black  hair,  composed  of  a  rigid  jaw, 
straight,  heavy  black  brows,  cold  gray  eyes, 
deeply  set,  and  a  Sabbath-day  mouth.  His 
nose  was  a  kind  of  Ben  Gaw  elevation  that 
completed  the  austerity  of  his  expression. 
Add  to  this  the  fact  that  he  had  a  mournful, 
yellow-streaked  mind,  of  the  kind  peculiar  to 
reformers,  and  you  have  an  accurate  impres 
sion  of  him. 

23 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

If  the  drawing  seems  severe  and  unbecom 
ing  the  wife  of  his  bosom  I  can  only  say  that 
when  a  man  that  was  your  husband  has  been 
dead  a  quarter  of  a  century,  you  are  not  one 
dust  with  him.  You  have  that  peculiar  mortal 
advantage  of  having  survived  him,  and  of 
being  able  to  look  back  and  see  him  as  he  was 
— which  a  wife  never  does  so  long  as  her  hus 
band  is  living,  unless  she  is  preparing  to  get 
a  divorce.  The  eyes  of  a  proper  wife  are 
always  sweetly  holden. 

At  the  time  he  asked  me  to  marry  him  I  ac 
cepted  him  as  I  would  doubtless  have  accepted 
any  other.  A  maid  does  not  know  how  to 
choose  a  husband.  She  only  knows  she  wants 
a  lover.  But  a  widow  not  only  knows  what 
kind  of  man  she  is  willing  to  marry,  she  knows 
from  experience  the  kind  she  will  not  marry. 
No  woman  in  her  right  marital  senses  would 
have  deliberately  chosen  one  like  Mr.  Bailey. 
There  is  something  revolting  in  masculine 
pluperf  ectness  to  women,  once  they  discover  it 
in  a  man.  The  point  is,  he  chose  me.  It  is 
24 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

the  way  more  men  than  you  might  think  get 
their  wives.  If  women  had  the  propriety  of 
choice  few  of  them  would  take  for  husbands 
the  men  they  actually  do  marry. 

So  then,  Mr.  Bailey  was  my  first  husband. 
And  if  he  had  been  my  only  husband,  these 
scriptures  of  matrimony  would  never  have 
been  written.  We  lived  three  doors  down  the 
street  from  father  and  mother  until  his  death 
from  pneumonia  two  years  later,  and  from 
the  day  of  our  wedding  I  had  the  feeling  of 
having  entered  upon  the  everlasting  study  of 
something  as  tedious  as  a  Latin  grammar. 
There  is  nothing  stagy  about  a  man  who  is 
just  good,  once  he  becomes  your  husband.  The 
dreadful  thing  is  that  nothing  ever  happens, 
except  that  he  comes  home  for  his  meals  and 
to  sleep.  He  does  not  talk  to  you  because 
you  are  a  woman.  Even  when  he  does  what 
would  be  startling  in  another  it  becomes  in 
him  commonplace  or  ludicrous.  Mr.  Bailey 
used  so  much  violent  language  in  the  "Ban 
ner,"  for  example,  that  some  of  the  fiercest 
25 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

words  known  to  man  lost  their  expression,  so 
to  speak,  and  looked  at  you  faintly  out  of  the 
faded  ink.  At  one  time  or  another  he  called 
every  man  in  the  courthouse  gang  a  "liar," 
but  he  would  not  come  to  blows  when  chal 
lenged  by  the  victim.  He  merely  wrote  an 
other  editorial  reasserting  the  said  victim's 
mendacity  in  still  more  violent  language.  His 
powers  of  resentment  were  journalistic,  not 
manly. 

We  lived  together  in  a  terrible  kind  of 
peace.  Every  day  I  felt  the  lack  of  Eve's 
apple.  I  would  have  given  him  anything  that 
might  have  awakened  the  honest  earth  within 
him.  The  time  came  when  I  wished  he  would 
get  drunk  or  do  something  equally  startling 
and  human — anything  to  break  the  monotony 
of  life.  The  routine  of  merely  keeping  house 
and  kissing  him  good-by  taxed  something  in 
me  that  had  never  been  taxed.  It  was  not 
love;  it  was  patience.  If  only  he  had  stayed 
out  until  one  o  'clock  some  night,  without  being 
able  to  account  for  his  absence,  I  believe  I 
26 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

could  have  loved  him.  My  experience  is  that 
a  wife  must  entertain,  at  least  now  and  then, 
some  anxiety  for  her  husband,  either  his  life, 
his  fortunes  or  his  morals,  in  order  to  develop 
the  whole  sweetened  character  of  love.  But 
I  never  felt  the  slightest  uneasiness  concern 
ing  Mr.  Bailey.  He  would  not  fight,  he  had 
no  real  ambition,  his  enthusiasms  were  vicious, 
and  his  morals  would  have  done  credit  to 
Elijah.  There  are  such  things  as  respecting 
a  man  whom  you  despise  and  loving  one  whom 
you  cannot  respect,  and  wives  are  the  only 
people  in  this  world  who  know  it. 

Less  than  a  week  after  Mr.  Bailey's  funeral 
I  received  a  letter  from  a  person  who  signed 
his  name  "Adam  West,"  offering  to  purchase 
all  the  property  connected  with  the  Boone- 
ville  "Banner"  "for  fourteen  hundred  dollars 
cash."  He  would  also  take  my  home  "at  a 
reasonable  figure,"  in  case  I  should  not  wish 
to  live  alone  during  my  widowhood. 

This  letter  was  dated  from  a  newspaper 
office  in  Memphis.    The  phrasing  and  chiro- 
27 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

grapliy  suggested  a  man  of  character  rather 
than  of  distinction.  But  of  what  kind  of 
character  the  turned-up  noses  of  his  vowels 
and  the  slashing  of  his  ' '  t  's  "  did  not  indicate. 
However,  all  this  was  nothing  to  me.  I  im 
mediately  accepted  his  offer,  both  for  the 
"Banner"  property,  which  Mr.  Bailey  owned 
at  the  time  of  his  death,  and  for  the  house  in 
which  we  had  lived,  including  the  furniture. 

I  had  already  gone  back  home  to  father  and 
mother,  and  I  can  never  forget  the  sensation  I 
had  in  taking  up  the  round  of  daughter  duties 
in  the  house  that  I  had  suddenly  laid  down  two 
years  before.  They  had  not  changed.  There 
were  the  same  feather-beds  to  be  made,  the 
same  old  clock  to  wind,  the  same  yeast  to  set 
for  supper  bread,  and  mother  wore  the  same 
garment  of  silence.  My  passionate  weeping 
upon  my  return,  with  my  head  upon  her  knees, 
had  not  broken  it.  It  was  as  though  she  knew 
better  than  my  tears  the  meaning  of  life. 
She  merely  sat  stroking  my  hair  with  her 
strong,  peaceful  hands.  And  father  was  no 
28 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

more  changed  than  mother.  Instead  of  say 
ing,  " Thank  you  for  the  butter!"  he  had  the 
same  way  at  the  table  of  leaning  over  and 
staring  with  hypnotic  intentness  at  the  butter 
dish,  as  if  he  expected  it  to  move  across  the 
cloth  to  him.  He  showed  the  same  bustling 
habit  in  getting  off  after  breakfast,  as  if  he 
expected  a  busy  day  at  the  store.  Even  the 
cat  had  her  usual  litter  of  kittens  in  the  basket 
behind  the  kitchen  stove. 

Nothing  had  changed  but  myself.  I  wore 
a  black  dress,  and  in  the  pale  simplicity  of 
my  face  imaginary  grief — which  may  be,  with 
out  our  suspecting  it,  the  subtlest  satisfaction 
in  the  world ! — was  beginning  to  draw  an  ex 
pression.  The  lineaments  of  prayer  appeared 
dimly  mirrored  in  my  own  lineaments — when 
your  heart  is  buried  in  somebody  else's  grave 
prayer  is  the  only  proper  language  left  you. 
And  I  imagined  that  my  heart  was  buried 
in  the  tomb  of  my  husband.  It  is  what  every 
woman  imagines,  no  matter  what  kind  of  per 
son  the  husband  may  have  been.  Women  are 
29 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

often  capable  of  being  more  faithful  to  the 
dead  than  they  could  bear  to  be  to  the  living. 
You  never  see  upon  a  widow's  countenance 
that  look  of  relief  and  timid  animation,  like 
signs  of  early  spring  upon  the  poor  brown 
sedge-ground  of  an  old  field,  that  may  so 
often  be  observed  above  the  beard  of  a 
widower's  face.  This  difference  between  the 
bereaved  husband  and  the  bereaved  wife  is 
accounted  for  by  the  fact  that  the  sense  of 
decency  in  women,  to  say  nothing  of  their 
natural  proprietary  interest  in4  sorrow,  is 
stronger  than  their  love  of  liberty.  But  if  you 
tax  him  far  enough  you  will  find  that  even  a 
bridegroom's  love  of  liberty  is  the  strongest 
affection  he  is  capable  of. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  no  one  can  be  faith 
ful  to  the  dead,  because  the  dead  no  longer 
exist.  They  are  not,  At  best,  one  is  faithful 
only  to  a  memory,  to  thoughts  you  think  your 
self. 

But  women,  particularly  widows,  are  not 
analytic.  So,  every  day  I  put  the  long  black 
30 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

veil  over  my  mourning  bonnet,  took  my  way 
sadly  through  the  streets  of  Booneville,  out 
upon  the  road  that  led  to  the  cemetery  on 
the  hill  beyond  the  church.    Mr.  Bailey's  re 
mains  had  been  buried  at  the  foot  of  an  arbor- 
vitae  tree  in  our  family  plot,  where  there  was 
an  iron  seat  upon  which  I  rested.    Undoubt 
edly,  it  was  the  most  reserved,  desolate-look 
ing  grave  at  first.     You  will  have  observed 
that  about  new  graves.    It  is  not  till  the  grass 
grows  and  the  flowers  bloom  above  that  one 
feels  a  little  as  if  one  had  established  com 
munion  with  the  dear  dust  below.    Doubtless 
this  accounts  for  the  passion  women  have  for 
cemetery  horticulture.     Anyhow,  as  soon  as 
the  spring  advanced  sufficiently — Mr.  Bailey 
had  died  in  January— I  began  to  plant  bulbs 
and  seeds  about  him.    In  a  few  weeks  I  was 
suffering  the  keenest  anxiety  upon  their  ac 
count — whether  the  fros.t  would  nip  them  or 
the  rains  be  too  cold.    My  affections  and  in 
terest  were  being  gently  raised  from  the  dust 
of  Mr.  Bailey  below  to  the  growing,  living 
31 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

things  above.  I  began  to  take  a  sad,  weeping- 
willow  joy  in  the  heartiness  of  the  white 
hyacinths,  narcissuses  and  pale  trumpet  lilies, 
standing  in  coffin-shaped  rows,  like  little  white 
and  green  prophets  of  life  everlasting.  Many 
a  dead  man  has  been  cheated  thus  by  his 
widow  and  the  world  is  none  the  worse  for  it. 
The  fact  is,  my  health  and  spirits  improved 
as  my  little  mourning  garden  throve  in  the 
summer  weather.  Without  being  aware  of  it, 
I  experienced  all  the  pleasant  relaxation  of  a 
person  taking  a  vacation  after  a  long  strain. 
At  the  same  time,  all  unconsciously,  I  acquired 
the  reputation  in  Booneville  of  being  wonder 
fully  faithful  to  my  husband.  I  was  invested 
with  a  certain  romantic  interest  by  the  women 
and  treated  with  awed  respect  by  such  men  as 
I  met  in  the  seclusion  of  my  widowhood. 

But  love  is  the  burier  of  the  dead,  and  the 
evergreen  that  grows  above. 


32 


ADAM  IN  EVE'S 
GARDEN 


3 — Eve's  Second  Husband. 


CHAPTEE  II 


ADAM  IN  EVE'S  GARDEN 


LATE  one  afternoon  in  October  I  was 
returning   along   the   road   from  my 
daily  visit  to  the  cemetery.    The  sun, 
which  had  been  obscured  all  day,   dropped 
below  the  clouds   and  hung  red  above  the 
horizon.    At  the  same  moment  the  town  arose 
in  the  distance,  as  though  it  had  not  been 
there   before,   with   all   its   gables   glorified. 
This  glow  fell  upon  the  earth  far  and  wide, 
to  where  the  shadows  deepened  between  the 
brown  breasts  of  the  hills  beyond  the  town. 
I  was  experiencing  that  leisured,  sad  pensive- 
ness  that  married  women  never  have  because 
35 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

it  is  a  premonition  of  romantic  love.  Not  love, 
you  understand,  but  the  sweet,  fallow  prayer 
ground  where  love  springs  so  easily  into  life. 
I  lifted  my  veil  and  sighed,  not  for  Mr. 
Bailey,  but  for  nothing  at  all.  It  is  the  mood 
a  woman  is  in  when  she  is  willing  to  throw 
kisses  at  her  guardian  angel — very  high,  but 
not  pious.  Suddenly  I  perceived  what  I  had 
not  observed  through  the  gloom  of  my  veil — 
the  figure  of  a  man  approaching  along  the 
road;  a  man  who,  even  at  that  distance  gave 
the  impression  of  being  out  of  keeping  with 
the  phantasmagoria  of  light  that  was  falling 
upon  him,  as  though  one  had  seen  a  fool  in 
Heaven. 

He  was  tall,  with  broad  shoulders,  and  he 
wore  a  white  wool  hat  set  so  lightly  and  side 
ways  upon  his  head  that  it  seemed  to  caper. 
He  walked  with  a  roystering  gait;  not 
drunken,  but  natural,  as  though  he  had  been 
born  with  a  slim  devil  in  each  leg.  I  lowered 
my  veil  instinctively,  as  one  might  seek  the 
nearest  shelter  in  sight  of  danger.  As  a  mat- 
36 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ter  of  fact,  I  had,  'with  the  suddenness  of  a 
shock,  the  same  sensation  I  suffered  before 
marriage  when  I  passed  the  lounging  crowd  of 
men  on  the  courthouse  veranda.  I  had  the 
deeper  emotion  of  sustaining  some  relation  to 
this  man  who  was  approaching.  All  of  life 
is  the  past — what  we  call i  '  the  future ' '  is  only 
that  part  of  the  past  which  we  have  not  yet 
recalled.  The  stranger  had  drawn  so  near  at 
that  moment  that  I  felt  this  ancient  "future" 
look  me  in  the  face.  For  the  briefest  instant 
our  eyes  met.  His  were  large,  dark  and 
humorous,  almost  smiling.  The  rest  of  his 
face  was  grave,  too  grave  to  be  in  earnest.  I 
flushed,  having  the  feeling  somehow  that  I 
had  been  laughed  at.  The  reason  why  did  not 
that  day  enter  my  thoughts. 

Here  is  the  trouble  about  a  story — the  im 
possibility  of  making  it  true  to  life.  While 
you  are  telling  some  of  the  things  that  hap 
pened,  the  other  things  that  also  happened 
at  the  same  time,  and  that  belong  to  it,  must 
wait.  Thus,  if  you  had  lived  in  Booneville, 
37 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

you  would  have  known  that  while  I  was  taken 
up  with  my  widowhood  and  my  daily  visits  to 
the  cemetery,  Adam  West,  the  new  editor  of 
the  "Banner"  was  turning  the  town  and 
county  topsyturvy. 

Soon  after  Mr.  Bailey's  funeral  the  " Ban 
ner"  appeared  as  usual,  but  not  as  usual. 
If  Satan  had  switched  his  tail  over  every  page 
of  it  the  effect  would  not  have  been  more 
startling.  The  leading  editorial  was  in  the 
nature  of  a  salutatory  as  well  as  an  pbituary. 
The  editor  praised  the  virtues  of  his  "es 
teemed  predecessor"  with  the  air  of  a  man 
who  makes  a  list  of  the  sort  of  qualifications 
he  does  not  want  himself.  All  the  advertise 
ments  had  been  freshened  up  with  phrases 
that  winked  at  you  and  type  that  jollied  you. 
The  "local  items"  contained  news  that  was 
almost  mischief  in  its  wit  about  some  member 
of  nearly  every  family  in  Booneville.  It  was 
as  though  Puck  had  kissed  them  on  the  back 
of  the  neck  in  public.  But,  most  sensational 
of  all,  was  the  editorial  in  the  column  that  Mr. 
38 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Bailey  had  devoted  to  denunciations  of  Boone 
County  politics  and  officials,  and  to  attacks 
upon  the  "courthouse  gang."  This  was  a 
flowery  wreath  of  words  to  the  effect  that 
every  citizen  should  feel  bound  in  all  con 
science  to  vote  for  the  best  man,  marry  the 
fairest  woman,  and  never  to  forget  the  "Lost 
Cause!"  Never  was  there  such  shrewd  bom 
bast  nor  such  an  enthusiastic  reception  of 
bombast. 

The  paper  appeared  on  Saturday  afternoon. 
An  hour  later  the  courthouse  gang  was  seen 
to  issue  in  a  solid  body  from  the  door  of  that 
building,  rush  across  the  square  waving  the 
' '  Banner ' '  and  giving  the  rebel  yell.  They  were 
met  by  the  reformers  from  the  headquarters 
of  the  minority,  the  drug  store  and  the  "Ban 
ner"  office,  also  giving  the  rebel  yell.  This 
was  unprecedented.  For  years  these  two 
branches  of  citizens  had  kept  the  whole  width 
of  the  square  between  them.  And  there  had 
been  no  trespassing,  no  mixing,  not  even  in 
the  church,  where  the  same  party  lines  were 
39 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

observed  on  each  side  of  the  central  aisle. 
But  now  these  lines  had  been  wiped  out  by 
the  stroke  of  a  pen.  All  was  amnesty  and 
pleasant  confusion  in  the  square.  The  new 
editor  had  discovered  the  only  emotion  com 
mon  to  every  man  in  the  county,  and  he  based 
the  policy  of  his  paper  upon  it.  In  the  years 
that  followed  he  never  changed  it.  He  was 
elected  to  the  legislature,  to  Congress,  and 
finally  to  the  governorship  of  Tennessee,  ap 
parently  on  account  of  his  devotion  to  the 
"Lost  Cause. "  He  never  made  a  speech, 
whether  political  or  Sabbatical;  he  never  of 
fered  a  toast  or  delivered  an  address  of  wel 
come,  or  sent  a  " message"  to  the  legislature, 
that  he  did  not  rainbow  it  somewhere  with  an 
apostrophe  about  the  "heroes  in  gray."  This 
is  the  peculiarity  of  the  South.  It  is  not 
governed  by  issues,  but  by  sentiment.  At 
the  time  of  which  I  write  there  was  not  a  man 
in  Boone  County  who  could  have  told  whether 
Adam  West  was  a  Democrat  or  a  Republican, 
a  "gang  politician"  or  a  reformer.  Once  or 
40 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

twice  Colonel  Middlebrook,  observing  the  new 
editor 's  popularity  with  growing  alarm  on  his 
own  account,  called  attention  to  this  circum 
stance,  but  his  criticism  was  received  coldly. 
Mr.  West  always  conducted  himself  with  an 
eloquence  and  a  charm  that  could  have  been 
either  Republican  or  Democratic,  and  each  be 
lieved  him  to  be  of  the  party  to  which  he 
himself  belonged.  It  was  in  the  days  before 
the  close  communion  of  " primaries'"'  and 
"judiciaries." 

I  knew  the  man  I  had  met  on  the  road  was 
Adam  West.  I  had  frequently  seen  the  back 
of  his  head  in  church,  and  sometimes  he  passed 
our  house  in  the  mornings  on  his  way  to  the 
office.  I  heard  much  of  him,  and  thought  of 
him,  if  I  thought  at  all,  with  widowed  indif 
ference. 

The  next  afternoon  as  I  was  returning  from 
the  cemetery  I  met  him  again,  almost  at  the 
gate  as  I  came  out.  I  saw  him  lift  his  coat 
and  put  his  hand  upon  something  in  the  inside 
pocket,  a-nd  then  think  better  of  it.  Imme- 
41 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

diately  after  he  lifted  his  hat  and  swung  past, 
with  the  same  wind  of  laughter  in  his  eyes. 
I  wondered  what  the  man  meant,  and  blushed. 
I  thought  of  Mr.  Bailey's  grave  as  a  refuge. 
Instantly  I  was  overcome  with  the  fear  lest 
he  should  meet  me  there  next  time.  I  said 
nothing  of  these  adventures  at  home.  Indeed, 
they  were  not  adventures  except  as  my  heart 
exaggerated  them.  I  had  simply  met  a  per 
son  on  the  road  two  days  in  succession  who 
bowed  courteously  in  passing.  Yet  his  face 
was  constantly  before  me — the  dark  hair,  the 
brows  almost  femininely  arched  above  the 
brilliant  black  eyes,  and  the  lips,  turned  and 
modulated  until  they  sat  in  his  face  like  an 
eloquence  ready  for  speech;  above  all,  the 
firm  chin,  the  severer  because  of  the  pallor  of 
his  skin.  I  was  to  learn  later  from  this  same 
chin  that  a  firm  one  does  not  indicate  that  a 
man  is  strong  morally ;  it  only  means  that  he 
is  strong  willfully. 

The  following  day  I  determined  to  remain 
at  home.     It  had  become  a  sort  of  impro- 
42 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

priety  to  visit  my  husband's  grave.  Never 
theless,  I  went,  knowing  that  I  should  be  in 
dignant  if  Adam  West  again  usurped  the  road 
and  deeply  disappointed  if  he  did  not. 

Words  cannot  describe  my  emotions  when, 
upon  reaching  the  gate  of  the  cemetery,  which 
opened  almost  immediately  upon  our  lot,  I 
beheld  him  standing  under  the  arbor-vitse  re 
garding  Mr.  Bailey's  last  resting  place  with 
the  rooster-look  of  a  wrestler  who  has  cast  his 
antagonist  in  the  dust.  The  audacity,  the 
sacrilege  of  it  appalled  me.  I  turned  and  fled, 
hoping  that  I  had  not  been  observed.  The 
next  moment,  however,  I  heard  steps  behind 
me  and  a  voice  beside  me. 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mrs.  Bailey.  This  is 
Adam  West." 

I  bowed  coldly,  recovering  my  self-pos 
session  the  moment  we  arrived  in  the  region 
of  conversation. 

' '  We  already  know  each  other  in  a  business 
way  and  I  have  ventured  to  present  myself 
without  a  further  introduction." 
43 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  maintained  the  proper  air  of  frigidity  and 
felt  it.  The  man  was  becoming  a  commonplace 
fellow  who  accosted  defenseless  women  upon 
the  highway. 

"I  have  something  that  belongs  to  you.  I 
felt  that  I  ought  to  restore  it  to  you  per 
sonally,  since  you  had  inadvertently  left  it 
in  my  care. ' ' 

We  were  standing  in  the  road,  facing  each 
other,  he  with  his  hat  in  one  hand  while 
the  other  reached  for  something  in  his  breast 
pocket.  There  was  a  moment's  hesitation,  the 
brightest  beam  of  humor  or  curiosity  in  his 
eyes  regarding  me.  Then  he  drew  forth  a 
large  envelope.  I  took  it  mechanically.  The 
next  moment  I  felt  the  blood  fly  to  my  face. 
It  was  a  photograph  of  Mr.  Bailey.  I  had 
been  so  absorbed  in  the  rites  of  my  widow 
hood  that  I  had  never  missed  it. 

"I  found  it  in  one  of  the  dresser  drawers 
when  I  moved  into  your  house, "  he  explained. 
"You  must  have  forgotten  it." 

His  tone  was  meditative,  offensively  so; 
44 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

yet  I  could  think  of  no  reply.  We  walked  on 
together,  I  holding  the  covenant-faced  profile 
of  Mr.  Bailey  at  arm's  length  down  against 
the  folds  of  my  black  dress;  he,  still  bare 
headed,  carrying  his  hat  in  his  hand. 

I  have  said  that  I  will  write  the  truth.  This 
accounts  for  the  lack  of  dialogue  in  these 
pages.  One  does  not  often  recall  accurately 
what  one's  husband  said  at  the  breakfast 
table,  say,  twenty-five  years  ago,  nor  what  one 
replied,  nor  how  one  felt.  But  it  is  different 
with  a  lover.  I  never  knew  any  woman  to 
grow  so  old  or  so  forgetful  that  she  did  not 
remember  exactly  what  her  lover  said  to  her 
upon  such  and  such  a  day.  If  it  was  at  night 
she  can  tell  whether  the  moon  was  shining  and 
how  many  stars  saw  him  do  what  he  did.  Just 
so,  I  have  forgotten  a  thousand  wiser  things 
Adam  West  said  afterward,  but  I  remember 
every  word  he  uttered  that  day,  and  the 
goldenrods  and  purple-topped  ironweeds  we 
passed  along  the  road,  and  every  beat  of  my 
own  heart. 

45 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

He  had  withdrawn  his  eyes  from  me,  cover 
ing  my  confusion  with  averted  gaze.  Still 
we  had  but  one  thought  between  us. 

"Do  you  still  love  him?"  he  demanded  at 
last  in  the  soft  tenor  tone  of  impatience  that 
some  men  have. 

What  a  question  with  which  to  begin  a 
courtship!  I  thought — for  I  perceived  that  I 
was  about  to  be  courted.  I  should  have  de 
nied  it  to  the  last  breath,  even  to  myself;  but 
I  perceived  it  and  remained  silent.  You  have 
already  been  informed  that  I  was  a  stupid 
village  girl.  It  is  not  my  fault  if  you  are 
disappointed  because  I  cannot  record  quick, 
brilliant  replies  to  Adam  West's  questions. 
I  doubt  if  any  woman  ever  makes  them  when 
she  is  being  courted.  There  would  be  some 
thing  forward,  indelicate  about  wit  at  such 
a  time. 

"Did  you  ever  love  him?"  he  went  on  after 
an  interval. 

I  knew  that  I  should  resent  this.  As  a  mat 
ter  of  fact,  I  began  to  weep.  Shakespeare  was 
46 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

profoundly  correct  from  the  psychological 
point  when  he  permitted  Eichard  III  to  court 
Anne  in  the  very  presence  of  her  dead,  and 
when,  after  spitting  on  him,  Anne  yields  to 
his  advances.  Love,  I  believe,  takes  no  ac 
count  of  the  dead,  nor  of  mourning  veils. 

We  were  passing  the  old  stile  hy  this  time 
which  led  into  the  Middlebrooks '  sheep  pas 
ture.  My  companion  drew  me  to  it,  and  we 
sat  down. 

"I  want  to  talk  to  you,"  he  said. 

"Wait!"  I  replied,  drying  my  eyes.  I  felt 
that  something  womanly  was  at  stake;  that 
I  must  answer  him  promptly.  "You  ask  me 
if  I  loved  my  husband.  I  must  have  loved 
him.  Certainly  I  did.  I  could  never  have 
married  him  if  I  had  not,  could  I?" 

"Oh,  yes,  you  could.  Women  do  it  every 
day  and  never  find  out.  But  for  me  you 
might  have  gone  on,  maybe,  all  your  life  dig 
ging  and  planting  in  that  grave  up  there  just 
to  prove  to  yourself  what  never  was  true. 
Women  are  like  that!" 
47 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 


t  i 


Indeed!"  I  exclaimed,  bridling.  It  was 
as  near  as  I  could  come  to  coquetry. 

1  i  Yes,  I  say  it.  You  never  loved  your  hus 
band.  You  were  not  made  to  care  for  a  man 
like  that." 

I  perceived  that  he  not  only  despised  Mr. 
Bailey,  but  he  was  jealous  of  him.  And  it 
comforted  me  to  reflect  that  Mr.  Bailey  was 
where  I  need  not  resent  what  was  being  said 
about  him.  He  was  no  longer  my  husband. 
He  was  merely  my  memory.  Still,  I  tried 
to  withdraw  my  hands,  both  of  which  were 
held  folded  together  between  the  palms  of 
Adam  West.  This  was  my  last,  faint  effort 
at  widowhood  propriety. 

" Listen  to  me,"  he  went  on.  "You  are 
placid,  like  the  earth.  You  are  one  of  those 
great,  peaceful  women  who  have  no  brains, 
and  who  balance  the  world  in  its  orbit.  But 
for  you  and  your  kind  we  should  be  tumbling, 
dead  atoms  in  space " 

"Keally,  Mr.  West " 

"Your  name  is  Eve,  mine  is  Adam.  Call 
48 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

me  Adam!  This  is  just  outside  the  Garden 
of  Eden,  this  little  stile — outside,  mark  you. 
And  I  need  you  to  love  me  and  help  me  do 
things  by  the  sweat  of  my  brow.  I  can't  do 
without  you.  I  am  too  light.  I  am  not  a 
good  man.  I  have  to  be  redeemed  over  and 
over.  I  need  you  for  that.  It  is  no  easy  life 
I  am  offering  you — and  not  much  happiness; 
but  if  you  will  marry  me  I  promise  you  shall 
be  the  wife  of  the  governor  of  this  state  in  ten 
years.  If  you  don't  I'll  be  damned.  I  can't 
help  it.  I  am  by  nature  a  sort  of  fizzle." 

He  paused  and  looked  at  me.  There  were 
tears  in  his  eyes.  I  felt  my  own  fill.  Then 
I  swung  back  from  him  and  laughed.  He 
caught  me  to  him  and  kissed  me,  and  we 
laughed  together.  One  lovely  thing  about 
love  is  that  it  is  made  up  so  much  of  laugh 
ter,  and  that  it  has  so  few  premonitions  of 
sorrow.  All  lovers  are  babes  in  the  woods. 

An  old  ewe  came  and  looked  at  us  through 
the  rails  of  the  fence.  I  remember  how  grave 
and  maternal  her  air  was. 

4— Eve's  Second  Husband.  49 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

The  everlasting  attraction  such  men  as 
Adam  West  have  for  women  is  their  fascinat 
ing  veracity,  and  their  need  of  us  which  they 
know  so  well  how  to  express  in  an  eloquent 
love  prayer.  They  are  really  the  greatest 
liars  in  existence,  because  their  truthfulness 
produces  a  false  impression  and  their  very 
love  is  a  kind  of  epilepsy,  a  fit  that  comes 
and  goes.  There  was  I,  for  example,  ready 
to  marry  Adam  because  he  had  confessed  the 
very  worst  limitations,  thus  casting  the  re 
sponsibility  of  the  future  upon  me  if  I  ac 
cepted  him,  because  he  needed  me.  Never 
once  had  Mr.  Bailey  expressed  or  felt  such  a 
lack.  He  was  entirely  sufficient  —  morally, 
mentally  and  spiritually,  at  least.  There  was 
nothing  a  wife  could  do  for  such  a  man.  He 
produced,  in  fact,  the  most  depressing  of  all 
impressions  upon  a  woman — that  of  being 
and  feeling  superior  to  her.  It  is  a  preroga 
tive  with  us  to  have  this  feeling  of  superi 
ority  ourselves.  I  was  a  simple  brow-smitten 
woman  in  my  first  marriage. 
50 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

But  now  we  were  two  lovers  sitting  on  the 
bottom  step  of  the  old  sheep-pasture  stile. 

"How  did  you  ever  come  to  know  me  well 
enough  to  love  me?"  I  asked. 

"How  did  you  come  to  know  me  well 
enough?"  he  retorted. 

"I  didn't,  but  I  do!" 

We  laughed  and  kissed  again. 

Then  Adam  changed  his  face.  From  gayety 
it  cooled  into  gravity,  the  kind  a  man  shows 
when  he  remembers  pitying  a  woman. 

"I  will  tell  you  how  I  came  to  know  you 
well  enough  to  love  you,"  he  said,  looking 
away  from  me. 

"You  recall  that  it  was  late  in  February 
that  I  bought  your  house.  It  was  still  warm 
with  your  passing  presence  when  I  moved 
into  it.  There  were  red  embers  in  the  fire 
place  and  the  hearth  was  brushed  so  clean, 
as  if  you  had  considered  me.  There  were 
little  tokens  of  you  and  your  sweet  industry 
everywhere.  I  went  about  at  the  very  first, 
taking  note  of  them  in  each  room.  The  stiff, 
51 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ruffled  white  curtains  at  the  windows  were 
so  feminine.  That  row  of  polished  platters 
on  the  kitchen  shelf  touched  me.  All  was 
swept  and  garnished  so  particularly.  You 
must  have  been  lonely,  you  were  always  so 
busy.  From  the  first  day  I  missed  you,  a 
woman  I  had  never  seen.  Then,  in  the  spring 
all  the  things  you  had  planted  came  up,  lit 
tle  orphan  flowers  in  my  yard,  that  looked 
for  you.  They  had  been  your  children  I  knew 
—a  little  spelling  class  of  bachelor-buttons 
along  the  garden  walk,  lonesome  young  lilies 
that  bloomed  like  candles  in  the  evening  wait 
ing  for  you."  He  paused,  dashed  his  hand 
across  his  eyes  and  exclaimed: 

"God!  it  was  awful;  living  in  Eve's  garden 
without  Eve!" 

Men  like  Adam  have  a  histrionic  talent  so 
well  developed  they  think  they  are  being 
truthful  when  they  are  only  dramatizing  their 
fancies. 

"One  day  I  found  Bailey's  photograph 
where  you  had  forgotten  it.  And  then  I  un- 
52 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

derstood  all  your  little  indefatigable  labors. 
You  were  trying  to  pass  the  time,  poor  child! 
Your  heart  was  empty,  and  you  did  not  dream 
that  it  was  so.  You  thought  you  were  a  happy 
housewife.  But  you  were  only  the  keeper  of 
the  house,  the  little  widowed  Eve-mother  of 
the  flowers  in  your  garden  I" 

He  lifted  my  hands  and  kissed  them. 

"And  that  is  how  I  came  to  know  you  well 
enough  to  love  you!"  he  concluded. 

We  were  married  the  following  April. 
There  is  no  need  to  describe  the  day.  All 
April  days  are  so  nearly  alike.  The  years 
do  not  change  them  as  they  do  brides  and 
grooms.  There  were  the  thin,  misty  wings  of 
sweetly  transient  clouds  in  the  blue  above  us. 
The  earth  was  blossom-crowned.  And,  I  re 
member,  there  was  a  tomtit  wedding  going 
on  under  the  eaves  of  the  old  church  as  we 
entered. 

One  thing  only  darkened  the  edges  of  that 
bright  day  for  me.    A  woman  may  be  married 
more  than  once,  but  she  can  be  a  bride  but 
53 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

once.  The  trance  is  broken  ever  after.  She 
cannot  even  look  like  one  but  once.  She  may 
wear  what  she  will  of  wreaths  and  whiteness, 
but  the  look  of  the  bride  never  is  there.  I 
feared  in  my  heart  that  Adam  might  notice 
this. 

And  now  since  that  day  I  have  been  the 
wife  of  Adam  West.  This  is  not  so  much  my 
distinction  as  it  is  my  state  of  being.  I  have 
no  distinction,  but  he  is  a  celebrated  man. 
This  is  as  it  should  be.  In  a  proper  mar 
riage  the  husband  may  be  distinguished  if 
he  can,  but  it  is  better  for  the  wife  to  remain 
a  restful,  unknown  person.  Fame  is  not 
nearly  so  becoming  to  women  as  it  is  to  men, 
anyhow.  It  is  more  than  apt  to  cast  them 
or  their  husbands  out  of  drawing.  Adam  and 
I  knew  a  man  in  Nashville  once  who  had  a 
celebrated  wife.  He  far  surpassed  her  in  the 
dignity  of  real  intelligence,  and  he  was  de 
signed  for  that  graver  success  in  life  which 
does  not  depend  upon  the  public  fancy.  But 
she  had  inherited  a  curious,  figurative  use 
54 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

of  words  from  an  old,  backwoods,  stammering 
grandfather  that  accounted  for  what  was  re 
garded  as  fascinating  literary  style  which 
had  made  her  famous.  She  had  what  I  al 
ways  call  a  hunch  in  the  use  of  language  that 
made  you  jump.  This  was  her  gift,  and  it 
did  not  extend  to  her  very  commonplace  mind. 

Her  husband  preferred  the  gentle  peace  of 
obscurity,  but  she  kept  him  in  the  glare  of 
publicity  because  it  was  her  pleasure  to  be 
surrounded  constantly  by  a  cloud  of  admir 
ing  witnesses.  He  suffered  that  final  humilia 
tion  of  man  in  being  known  as  "Mrs.  B.'s 
husband."  And  he  bore  it  all  with  a  Peri- 
clean  twinkle  in  his  eye,  a  sort  of  humorous 
forgiveness  that  always  excited  my  admira 
tion.  But  I  could  never  bear  his  wife.  She 
was  a  kind  of  literary  caterpillar,  devouring 
a  situation  that  by  right  belonged  to  him. 

It  is  especially  important  that  the  wife  of 

a  public  man  should  efface  herself — not  to 

the  public,  but  to  him.    He  needs  all  the  room 

there  is  in  matrimony,  which  is  always  more 

55 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

or  less  cramping,  to  expand  his  personality, 
that  aura  of  the  mountebank,  preacher  and 
politician.  And,  although  the  citizens  of 
Booneville  did  not  suspect  it,  Adam  was  al 
ready  on  his  way  to  becoming  a  successful 
politician — that  is,  a  local  statesman.  He  had 
all  the  natural  qualifications  necessary  for 
such  a  success,  although  I  was  longer  in  dis 
covering  them  than  you  might  infer  from  the 
ease  with  which  I  am  cataloguing  them.  In 
the  first  place,  he  had  a  fine  moral  sense 
which  had  nothing  in  the  world  to  do  with 
his  character.  It  gave  an  old-fashioned  gran 
ite  stamina  to  his  public  utterances  which 
inspired  confidence.  Adam's  moral  sense  was 
like  some  religious  rituals.  It  was  for  the 
people,  not  for  him.  Again,  he  was  short- 
flighted  spiritually.  He  did  not  belong  yet  to 
God,  but  to  this  world,  as  the  oak  belongs  to 
the  earth.  He  was  and  is  still  interestingly 
unscrupulous  when  it  comes  to  weeding  his 
own  row.  He  is  not  the  man  to  be  trusted 
in  the  Master's  vineyard.  He  is  a  magnifi- 
56 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

cent  tare  among  tares,  and  not  an  easy  one 
to  reap.  He  has  worked  out  his  salvation  in 
this  present  world  without  much  fear  and 
trembling.  I  do  not  know  what  will  become 
of  him  in  the  next.  There  have  been  so  many 
more  immediate  anxieties.  I  have  been  worn 
to  a  frazzle  worrying  over  his  honor  and  his 
fortunes  and  his  impudence  with  Destiny,  but 
never  for  a  moment  have  I  ceased  to  admire 
him  even  more  than  I  love  him.  He  is  made 
of  some  kind  of  profane  hero  dust  which  is 
not  subject  to  the  same  tests  that  saints  are. 
Some  men  are  to  be  judged  by  their  morals 
or  their  petty  pieties;  and  some  demand  to 
be  judged  by  their  deeds,  by  their  excellent 
faults.  Adam  belongs  to  this  class,  and  what 
follows  consists  of  the  apocryphal  scriptures 
of  his  life,  touched  constantly  from  the  sweet 
innerside  by  Eve,  his  wife;  for  from  the  day 
of  our  wedding  I  became  not  so  much  his 
better  half  as  his  nether  millstone,  the  weight 
that  balanced  him  and  often  obstructed  him. 


57 


EVE  SEES  ADAM'S  AURORA 
BOREALIS 


CHAPTER   III 

EVE  SEES  ADAM'S  AURORA  BOREALIS. 

THE  summer  after  we  were  married  was 
an   eventful   one  in  Adam's   career. 
He  was  somewhat  in  the  position  of 
the  original  Adam  when,  the  morning  after 
his  creation,  he  was  called  out  to  name  the 
beasts  of  the  field,  the  fowls  of  the  air  and 
the  fishes  under  the  sea.  I  have  never  thought 
much  of  this  first  man  as  a  husband  and 
father,  but  the  way  he  met  this  emergency 
seems  to  indicate  that  he  was  a  person  of 
brains,  and  that  he  had  a  gift  for  language 
that  has  never  been  equaled  by  any  of  his 
descendants.    My  own  Adam  was  hardly  less 
61 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

resourceful  in  meeting  the  situation  that  con 
fronted  him.  This  was  not  the  Edenic  prob 
lem  of  naming  jackasses  so  much  as  it  was 
the  more  difficult  one  of  managing  them  for 
his  own  ends.  The  first  Adam  was  not  ex 
pecting  to  be  elected  to  the  legislature  any 
time  soon,  or  he  might  have  been  more  em 
barrassed  than  he  was  as  registrar. 

Adam's  methods  were  simple.  In  that  lay 
their  strength.  For  example,  until  the  very 
day  he  appeared  in  the  political  arena  he 
continued  to  publish  editorials  upon  noble 
themes,  mostly  patriotic.  They  were  like 
some  preachers '  sermons,  so  heavenly  minded, 
so  remote  from  the  real  scarlet  of  the  human 
heart,  that  they  eased  the  conscience  of  sin 
ners.  In  spite  of  the  futile  rumblings  of 
Colonel  Middlebrook,  the  people  of  Boone 
County  forgot  that  a  certain  railroad  rate 
question  must  be  settled  at  the  next  meeting 
of  the  legislature,  and  that  the  railroad  in 
terests  lacked  only  one  vote  at  the  last  ses 
sion  to  carry  their  point  in  the  law.  They 
62 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

were  much  more  interested  in  that  column  in 
the  "Banner"  that  the  editor  devoted  to  "A 
History  of  the  Heroes  of  Boone  County,"  in 
which  some  member  of  every  family  in  it 
figured — usually  in  hattle  array,  shooting 
Yankees  at  every  jump. 

And  it  was  the  first  time  since  Booneville 
boasted  a  newspaper  that  the  comings  and 
goings  of  the  "mud-sock  gang,"  barefooted 
farmers  and  distillers  living  back  in  the  hills, 
were  recorded  along  with  those  of  the  '  *  lead 
ing  citizens."  The  truth  is,  Colonel  Middle- 
brook's  departure  to  Nashville  to  attend 
some  committee  connected  with  his  duties  as 
a  member  of  the  legislature  might  be  over 
looked  in  the  "Banner."  (No  matter  how 
much  the  colonel  strained  himself  upon  the 
top  rung  of  the  ladder  in  Booneville,  Adam 
was  apt  to  miss  the  performance,  which  ap 
peared  for  some  reason  to  be  far  more  galling 
to  him  than  Mr.  Bailey's  vituperations  had 
ever  been.)  But  if  Bud  Williams  entered  the 
town  riding  his  little  mouse-colored  mule  that 
63 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

went  "Te-haw!  te-haw!  te-e-e-haw-ah-honk!" 
as  it  trotted  across  the  square,  the  name  of 
.Williams  shone  in  the  next  issue  of  the  paper 
along  with  other  "Prominent  Citizens  in 
Town."  And  the  fact  that  Bud  wore  a  blue 
"hickory"  shirt,  that  he  had  no  saddle  on 
his  mule,  that  his  long  legs  hung  so  low  he 
could  almost  pat  the  ground  with  his  bare  feet, 
and  that  he  seemed  to  be  in  an  ambuscade 
composed  by  his  own  fiery  red  whiskers,  made 
no  difference  in  the  adorning  adjectives  em 
ployed  in  this  announcement. 

Being  a  genial  Democrat  was  as  near  as 
Adam  ever  came  to  being  a  Christian.  The 
outward  appearance  is  much  the  same,  like 
the  features  of  two  brothers  who  differ  as- 
toundingly  in  character.  It  was  on  his  in 
side  that  he  fell  as  far  short  as  though  he 
had  been  gorged  with  forbidden  fruit  and  was 
in  a  state  of  perpetual  hiding  from  God.  It 
is,  I  believe,  one  of  the  conditions  of  political 
success  still  in  this  country.  You  cannot  run 
for  sheriff,  or  for  the  legislature,  or  even  for 

64 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

the  governorship,  on  the  principles  with 
which  you  make  the  race  for  a  harp  and 
crown  in  another  world,  no  matter  how  much 
you  may  quote  Scripture  in  your  political 
speeches.  Adam  never  tried  it.  He  had  no 
inner  modesty,  no  deference  to  other  worlds. 
His  mind  was  pointed  toward  the  place  he 
wished  to  reach  in  this  one,  and  that  was 
the  only  point  in  it.  His  conscience  was  an 
arrow,  not  a  conscience. 

Immediately  after  our  marriage  he  made 
his  first  political  campaign,  a  miniature  one 
confined  to  Boone  County.  And  this  was 
really  our  wedding  tour.  He  had  been  en 
tered  by  his  friends,  apparently  much  against 
his  wishes,  in  the  race  against  Colonel  Mid- 
dlebrook  for  representative,  and  he  was  com 
ing  up  in  it  with  a  leaping,  thin-flanked  speed 
that  made  him  the  hero  of  the  county.  No 
one  could  have  recognized  in  this  political 
roadster,  with  his  coat-tails  flying  back  over 
the  dashboard  of  the  temporary  platform  of 
his  party,  the  simple-minded  idealist  who 

5 — Eve's  Second  Husband.  DO 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

had  adorned  the  columns  of  the  "  Banner " 
with  sentimental  editorials  about  the  "Lost 
Cause/'  The  "Banner"  itself  was  changed, 
like  a  lady  who  has  lost  her  virtue  and  is  not 
ashamed.  It  was  bedizened,  scandalously 
decorated  with  campaign  eloquence  and  ' '  lost 
to  the  principles  of  true  democracy,'7  as 
Colonel  Middlebrook  pointed  out.  Also  he 
referred  to  Adam  as  the  "serpent  he  had 
nursed  in  his  bosom."  He  was  thinking  of 
the  enthusiasm  with  which  the  courthouse 
gang  had  received  him  when  he  first  become 
editor  of  the  "Banner." 

Chicken  fighting  ceased  to  be  the  side  show 
and  diversion  at  barbecues  that  year.  Colo 
nel  Middlebrook  and  Adam  West  were  in 
vited  to  hold  a  joint  debate  instead.  There 
was  usually  a  rude  platform  upon  which  the 
speakers  sat  facing  the  crowd.  The  crowd 
was  composed  of  farmers  and  their  wives, 
young  beaux  and  their  sweethearts,  with  a 
thick  sprinkling  of  "town  people"  toward 
the  front — "political  heelers"  they  are  called 
66 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

now — and  a  rim  of  the  "mud-sock  gang'7  in 
the  rear.  There  is  not  a  stranger  sight  or  a 
more  significant  one  than  a  city  courtroom 
full  of  the  kind  of  men  usually  summoned 
in  a  famous  murder  case,  from  among  whom 
the  jury  must  be  selected,  and  the  crowd  that 
assembles  in  any  country  place  to  listen  to  a 
political  speaking  or  to  watch  a  chicken  fight. 
They  are  identical — made  up  of  the  gentle 
earthworms  of  civilization  who  enjoy  a  futile 
kind  of  fierceness  by  proxy — so  primitive  they 
cannot  dramatize  their  own  sensations,  so 
dull  they  never  read  newspapers,  and  there 
fore  competent  by  reason  of  their  unpreju 
diced  ignorance  to  sit  on  juries  in  trials  for 
murder.  In  the  country  they  represent  the 
corn-and-meat  strength  of  the  nation.  In  the 
city  they  are  the  incompetent  poor,  the  scav 
engers;  the  rotting  burden  of  the  times. 

The  first  of  these  debates  occurred  at  the 
Mill  Creek  barbecue.    The  crowd  was  unusu 
ally  large.     There  was  a  ring  of  horses  and 
mules  hitched  with  dangling  harness  to  the 
67 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

limbs  of  trees  in  the  background.  These  kept 
up  a  continual  stamping  at  flies  and  whinnied 
salutations  every  time  another  horse  or  mule 
arrived.  There  were  an  equal  number  of 
babies  struggling  in  the  arms  of  the  farmers ' 
wives  in  the  audience,  homely  earth  women 
who  married  clods  and  bore  vigorous  chil 
dren.  These  babies  clawed  at  the  calico-clad 
bosoms  of  their  mothers  and  vied  with  the 
mules  in  the  noise  they  made.  The  din  was 
increased  whenever  some  one  kicked  a  hound 
that  prowled  between  the  seats  in  search  of 
sweet  cakes  discarded  by  the  yelling  infants. 
Colonel  Middlebrook  was  the  first  speaker. 
Adam  sat  behind  him  on  the  farther  end  of 
the  platform,  with  folded  arms.  He  was 
wearing  his  wedding  suit  and  looked  like  a 
cross  between  a  young  stripling  god  of  love 
and  an  adolescent  politician.  The  colonel 
wore  a  thin  black  alpaca  coat  and  two  inches 
of  his  shirt  showed  between  his  white  vest 
and  his  trousers.  He  was  very  fat,  very 
warm,  furiously  angry  and  he  had  no  more 
68 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

imagination  than  grease  lias.  He  stood  with 
his  short  legs  far  apart;  in  one  hand  he  held 
a  red  bandanna  handkerchief  with  which  he 
continually  mopped  the  sweat  from  his  bald 
head  and  face,  in  the  other  he  held  a  pal 
metto  fan  that  he  could  not  use  on  account 
of  some  sudden  sense  of  awkwardness.  He 
confined  himself  to  facts,  stating  what  he  had 
done  for  his  constituents  and  what  he  would 
do.  From  time  to  time  he  flirted  the  fan  over 
his  shoulder  to  indicate  Adam,  without  con 
descending  to  look  at  him,  calling  attention 
to  the  grave  interests  involved  and  the  dan 
ger  of  choosing  a  light,  untried  and  foolish 
young  person  for  such  a  serious  duty  as  rep 
resenting  the  people  of  Boone  County  in  the 
legislature.  It  was  in  the  course  of  this 
speech  that  he  spoke  of  Adam  as  the  "ser 
pent  he  had  nursed  in  his  bosom. "  Finally 
he  resumed  his  seat,  his  wattles  fiery  red,  his 
under  lip  hanging,  and  showing  a  wet  per 
spiration  spot  between  his  shoulders  behind. 
He  was  really  outraged  at  the  indignity  of 
69 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

being  obliged  to  meet  Adam  at  all  in  debate, 
and  the  more  indignant  because  of  the  dull 
indifference  with  which  the  crowd  had  lis 
tened  to  what  he  had  to  say,  if  indeed  they 
had  listened  at  all. 

Adam  arose,  folded  one  arm  behind  him, 
placed  one  hand  in  the  breast  of  his  coat  so 
that  the  other  was  folded  in  front,  and  ad 
vanced  with  the  gentle,  modest  air  of  a  young 
man  who  is  about  to  meet  a  thousand  of  his 
celebrated  superiors.  The  effect  was  ex 
quisitely  complimentary  and  winning.  He 
had  the  softened  tone,  the  diffident  manner  of 
young  integrity  under  trial.  He  was  like  a 
boy  lark  taking  his  first  spring  notes  in  the 
rhetoric  of  song.  Suddenly,  however,  he 
seemed  to  get  his  bearings,  to  achieve  courage 
out  of  his  own  inner  consciousness  of  un 
tarnished  virtue,  and  immediately  he  soared 
into  the  empyrean  of  language.  He  glistened, 
he  plucked  the  very  stars  from  the  heaven 
with  an  ease  that  indicated  the  loftiness  of 
his  ideals.  The  crowd  shouted,  the  women 
70 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

wept,  the  babies  paused  with  the  tears  upon 
their  cheeks,  rolled  their  eyes  at  him  and  were 
fascinated.  I  felt  as  though  I  had  climbed 
a  high  hill  in  my  heart  to  look  at  the  aurora 
borealis  of  my  husband's  soul,  and  I  was 
happily  breathless  with  the  effort.  Later  I 
discovered  that  this  was  the  only  kind  of  evi 
dence  Adam  ever  showed  of  having  a  soul. 

Never  once  did  he  refer  to  an  issue  of  the 
campaign.  The  implication  was  that  these 
could  not  possibly  suffer  in  his  hands,  that  he 
would  attend  to  them  later  when  he  was 
elected.  Toward  the  close  of  his  speech  he 
assumed  an  expression  of  sadness,  dropped 
slowly,  reluctantly  back  to  earth,  turned  with 
the  air  of  injured  innocence  and  cast  a  look 
of  reproach  upon  Colonel  Middlebrook,  who 
sat  in  a  kind  of  apoplectic  silence  throughout 
the  performance. 

He  desired  to  take  up  the  charge  of  being 

a  "serpent  in  Colonel  Middlebrook 's  bosom, " 

he  resumed,  after  an  accusative  pause.     He 

did  not  mind  so  much  being  called  a  serpent 

71 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

— serpent  was  the  Lord's  own  emblem  of  wis 
dom — but  he  wished  to  deny  that  he  had  ever 
had  anything  to  do  with  Colonel  Middle- 
brook's  bosom  and  he  challenged  anybody  to 
prove  that  he  had.  He  declared  that  he  had 
come  to  Booneville  a  simple-hearted  stranger, 
he  had  endeavored  to  do  his  duty  as  editor  of 
the  "  Banner "  and  leader  of  public  sentiment. 
In  consequence  he  had  been,  or  was  about  to 
be,  chosen  by  the  people  as  representative 
from  Boone  County — hence  this  outrageous 
scandal  connecting  him  with  Middleb rook's 
political  bosom.  Middlebrook  was  jealous, 
defeated,  venomous,  and  so  forth.  The  so 
forth  was  taken,  up  pointing  out  real  or  im 
aginary  delinquencies  of  the  Colonel  as  repre 
sentative. 

Adam  would  have  made  a  wonderful  re 
vivalist.  Once  he  reached  his  legs  and  stood 
up  in  the  debate  he  was  irresistible.  He  had 
that  magic  of  the  features  which  we  call  a 
spiritual  expression.  His  face  glowed,  his 
brilliant  black  eyes  widened  and  swept  the 
72 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

crowd  like  scythes.  If  lie  laughed  the  crowd 
laughed  with  him.  (Over  and  above  his  party 
platform,  which  has  changed  from  time  to 
time,  he  has  always  had  what  may  be  called 
a  personal  platform,  compassed  by  two  planks 
— tears  and  laughter — and  this  has  had  more 
to  do  with  his  getting  into  an  office  he  wanted 
than  the  regular  firmer  one  of  his  party.)  If 
he  had  occasion  to  lift  his  hand  to  high  heaven 
upon  some  proposition,  as  he  frequently  did, 
they  were  inclined  to  be  lifted  up  accordingly. 
Also  he  had  the  advantage  of  Middlebrook  in 
that  he  had  no  political  record,  and  in  that 
he  had  an  imaginary  use  of  virtuous  language 
that  might  have  excited  the  envy  of  an  Old 
Testament  prophet. 

I  shall  never  have  such  moments  again  as 
I  experienced  during  this  honeymoon  cam 
paign,  sitting  from  day  to  day  in  the  shade 
of  some  grove  upon  a  front  seat  at  the  ' i  speak 
ing,"  admired  as  a  bride,  enjoying  the  re 
flected  glory  of  being  the  wife  of  the  most 
eloquent  man  that  "ever  charmed  an  audience 
73 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

in  Boone  County. "  (See  county  cor 
respondents  in  " Banner'7  of  these  dates.) 

One  incident  will  serve  to  illustrate  the  com 
ing  character  of  Adam,  a  character  brilliant 
rather  than  profound,  and  one  so  light  that 
for  more  than  twenty  years  it  has  floated 
gracefully  upon  the  surface  of  Tennessee  poli 
tics,  without  ever  being  "dry  docked"  by  his 
party. 

The  thing  I  am  about  to  tell  occurred  at  a 
political  rally  near  Molly  's-borough,  in  one  of 
the  most  aristocratic  and  belligerent  sections 
of  Tennessee.  By  the  term  aristocrat  in 
Tennessee  one  is  supposed  to  indicate  a 
descendant  of  a  Mississippi  planter.  To  be 
descended  from  a  Virginia  cavalier  here  means 
no  more  than  if  you  had  claimed  to  have  evo- 
luted  from  a  Himalayan  monkey.  And  by  the 
term  belligerent,  one  means  that  infusion  of 
the  spirit  of  John  Sevier  and  of  Andrew  Jack 
son  that  makes  even  the  ministers  of  God 
natural-born  feudists  and  that  has  added  an 
extra  shotgun  faculty  to  the  brains  of  the  best 
74 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

manhood  in  the  state.  Above  all,  this  section 
was  the  hawk-nest  neighborhood  of  a  large 
number  of  old  veterans  who  had  served 
in  Colonel  Middlebrook's  regiment.  The 
"speaking"  itself  was  to  be  in  a  grove  upon 
the  Molly  's-borough  battleground,  where  it 
was  said  the  colonel  had  executed  a  "novel 
movement"  with  his  regiment  and  had  thus 
been  in  time  to  save  the  whole  of  Bragg 's 
army  from  being  routed.  On  this  account  his 
military  record  was  not  only  glorious,  it  was 
unique.  But  heretofore  he  had  never  been 
obliged  to  refer  to  it.  He  left  it  to  plead  for 
itself.  Now,  however,  he  was  in  his  last  ditch, 
politically  speaking.  So  far  the  debate  had 
seemed  to  go  against  him.  He  was  exhausted. 
His  antagonist  was  still  resplendent,  still  paw 
ing  the  ground  from  under  his  feet  with 
rhetorical  stampings  that  delighted  the  audi 
ences. 

The  Colonel  arose  when  the  hour  for  debate 
had  arrived,  advanced  to  the  front  of  the  plat 
form,  with  the  dragging  dullness  of  a  tired  old 
75 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

man.  He  stood  for  a  moment  silent,  looking 
out  over  the  familiar  faces  of  the  crowd,  some 
of  which  he  had  seen  many  a  time  before 
wreathed  in  the  musket  smoke  of  battle.  That 
silence  was  the  one  eloquent  sentence  he  ut 
tered  during  the  campaign.  It  was  apparent 
from  the  first  word  that  he  had  abandoned 
his  arrogant  position  of  self-assurance  and 
had  assumed  the  humbler  one  of  pleading  for 
the  continued  support  of  his  constituents.  He 
was  an  old  soldier,  he  said.  He  had  no  mean 
record  as  commander  of  the  Boone  County 
Wildcats,  as  some  of  the  men  before  him 
knew.  He  could  not  make  an  eloquent  speech, 
he  was  not  made  out  of  words,  but  there  had 
been  a  time  when  he  could  have  matched  any 
man's  words  with  bullets.  He  paused  again. 
There  was  something  in  his  bulk  and  helpless 
ness  that  pleaded  for  him.  It  was  a  glorious 
memory,  made  ugly  in  the  fat  of  an  old  man's 
form.  He  could  not  help  it.  He  could  not 
even  voice  the  memory.  He  resumed.  What 
he  was  about  to  say  was  this,  he  explained. 
76 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

It  was  not  the  office  of  representative  he 
craved,  but  the  honor  of  their  confidence  that 
his  election  to  the  office  would  prove.  He 
did  not  think,  he  said  in  conclusion,  that  John 
Middlebrook  would  ever  have  to  remind  the 
men  of  Boone  County  of  his  services  in  pro 
tecting  their  homes  twenty  odd  years  ago  from 

the  Federal  army.    But .    Here  he  began 

to  fumble  awkwardly  at  his  collar.  De 
liberately  he  unbuttoned  it,  pulled  his  shirt 
open,  showed  a  breast  covered  with  long  gray 
hair  and  a  livid  scar  that  glistened  across  it 
whiter  than  the  hair. 

"I  got  that  from  a  Yankee  officer's  saber 
not  a  hundred  yards  from  where  I  am  stand 
ing  now,  out  there  in  that  open  field. ' ' 

He  refastened  his  collar  with  the  same  de 
liberation,  and  walked  back  to  his  seat.  He 
had  not  been  on  his  feet  ten  minutes.  Sud 
denly  the  air  was  rent  by  a  "  rebel  yell ' ' ;  the 
very  sunlight  seemed  to  tremble.  The  colonel 
sat  imperturbable,  with  eyes  apparently  fixed 
on  the  past  out  there  in  the  "open  field." 
77 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

The  yelling  continued  longer  than  the  speech 
that  had  evoked  it.  And  I  wondered  how 
Adam  would  meet  the  situation — Adam,  who 
was  as  naked  of  battle  scars  as  a  new-born 
babe,  who,  I  believe,  if  he  had  been  wounded, 
could  not  have  kept  even  in  his  flesh  so  lasting 
a  thing  as  a  scar. 

The  noise  subsided,  but  when  he  arose  and 
started  to  the  front  of  the  stand  it  bellowed 
forth  again.  He  drew  back,  gracefully  re 
sumed  his  seat.  His  manner  implied  that  he 
did  not  wish  to  shorten  or  to  share  the  cheer 
ing  that  belonged  to  his  esteemed  antagonist. 

At  last  he  was  permitted  to  begin.  He 
looked  like  a  neatly  dressed  two-legged  comma 
in  the  middle  of  a  situation  much  too  large 
for  him.  But  the  genius  of  Adam  consisted 
in  the  fact  that  he  could  even  make  a  rhetorical 
use  of  his  own  insignificance  to  further  his 
ends.  This  is  what  he  did  now.  Never  in  his 
tory,  on  Decoration  Days,  or  in  songs  or 
poetry  did  any  hero  of  battle  receive  a  more 
comprehensive  eulogy  upon  his  courage  than 
78 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Adam  West  pronounced  that  day  upon  Colonel 
John  Middlebrook.  He  explained  the  honor 
he  felt  in  being  reckoned  worthy  to  run  in  the 
same  race  with  such  a  man.  This  was  an 
audacious  parody  upon  the  challenge  of  John 
Sullivan  by  Bill  Nye,  who  explained  that  he 
only  wanted  to  be  "  mixed  up  with  him  before 
the  public. "  The  tears  streamed  down 
Adam's  face  as  he  proceeded  in  a  sort  of  mar 
tial  rapture  to  recount  the  miraculous  musket 
record  of  this  noblest  of  the  Boone  County 
heroes.  The  audience  responded  by  weeping 
also.  The  veterans  were  completely  capti 
vated  by  the  admiration  and  reverence  of  this 
young  man.  Middlebrook  alone  remained 
aloof,  like  a  large,  unsightly  boulder  that  has 
been  rolled  into  place  to  commemorate  a  bat 
tle  that  was  fought  there.  He  comprehended 
the  use  Adam  was  making  of  his  glory  to 
fashion  his  own  halo,  and  he  resented  it  with 
out  being  able  to  prevent  the  sacrilege. 

Having  made  him  more  resplendent  than 
Caesar  or  Napoleon,  Adam  went  on  gently  to 
79 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

explain  why  the  gray  hairs  of  such  veterans 
should  not  be  dragged  in  the  mud  of  political 
affairs.  He  showed  how  already  the  reputa 
tion  of  the  colonel  had  suffered,  not  because 
he  was  culpable — God  forbid! — but  because 
his  noble  confidence  had  been  abused  by  de 
signing  politicians  at  the  capital.  What  Boone 
County  needed  to  protect  her  in  war  were  men 
like  Colonel  Middlebrook;  what  she  needed 
in  times  of  great  commercial  greed,  like  the 
present,  to  protect  her  interests  were  the  alert 
ness  and  the  brains  of  a  young  man  who  had 
grown  up  in  such  times  and  was  better 
acquainted  with  them  than  he  was  with  the 
glories  of  war.  His  reasoning  was  as  clear  as 
his  spirit  was  generous,  and  had  its  effects. 
If  he  had  not  saved  the  day  to  himself  entirely, 
at  least  he  had  not  lost  it  to  his  rival. 

This  occasion  closed  the  series  of  joint  de 
bates.  Adam  and  I  returned  to  Booneville. 
A  few  months  later  he  was  elected  as  repre 
sentative  by  a  handsome  majority  over  Mid 
dlebrook. 

80 


EVE  SETS  A  LIGHT  IN 
HER  WINDOW 


6— Eve's  Second  Husband. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

EVE  SETS  A  LIGHT  IN  HER  WINDOW 

A  MAN  is  a  queer  creature,  although  not 
quite  so  queer,  of  course,  as  a  woman. 
He  has  a  dual  nature.    He  is  his  own 
twin,    whereas    a   woman   can   be   her    own 
mother  in  a  sad  emergency  where  there  is  no 
one  else  to  comfort  her. 

During  the  next  six  months  I  learned  some 
thing  about  Adam's  other  nature,  the  bac 
chanalian  twin  of  him,  whose  existence  I  might 
have  suspected,  but  did  not,  because  to  be 
a  suspicious  bride  is  an  incredible  sacrilege 
against  love.  Besides,  I  am  of  a  disposition 
that  renders  it  easier  for  me  to  believe  rather 
83 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

than  to  disbelieve,  to  hope  rather  than  to 
despair.  It  is  more  refreshing  to  the  heart, 
more  uplifting  to  the  eyes.  Even  to  this  day 
I  cannot  resist  the  temptation  to  believe  Adam 
when  he  swears  that  he  will  never  take  an 
other  drop  of  anything  intoxicating  so  long 
as  he  lives,  so  help  him  God  and  the  spirit 
of  his  sainted  mother!  (He  will  swear  by 
anything  that  is  sacred  enough!)  And  if  he 
records  his  vow  upon  one  of  the  memorial 
pages  dedicated  to  "Births"  and  "Deaths"  in 
our  family  Bible,  which  mother  gave  us  when 
we  were  married,  I  feel  as  hopeful  and  happy 
as  though  I  had  been  redeemed  to  everlast 
ing  peace  in  this  world.  I  believe  as  firmly 
in  the  vow  as  though  it  were  an  addition  to 
the  Scriptures  rather  than  an  addition  to 
Adam's  eloquent  apocrypha.  Nothing,  no 
anguish  of  disappointments,  has  ever  cured 
me  of  this  illusion  of  a  faith  in  him,  which  is 
based  only  upon  the  substance  of  things  hoped 
for  in  him,  the  evidence  of  what  I  have  never 
really  seen  in  him.  I  reckon  it  is  the  way 
84 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

women  are  made  on  purpose.  We  cannot 
really  bear  the  truth,  therefore  we  must  bear 
and  give  birth  to  our  illusions  as  well  as  our 
children,  and  nourish  them  both  with  equal 
care. 

About  a  week  after  we  returned  home  Adam 
came  in  very  late  one  night,  I  was  sitting  up 
for  him.  I  do  not  know  why,  but  it  is  an  in 
stinct  in  all  simple-hearted  wives  to  sit  up 
for  their  husbands  if  they  are  out  late  at  night. 
I  have  known  old  women  to  do  it  whose  hus 
bands  were  as  impeccable  as  saints.  This  is 
the  answer  one  of  these  gave  me  years  later. 
We  were  living  in  Nashville  at  the  time,  and 
although  her  house  was  lighted  with  elec 
tricity  she  used  to  put  a  little  lamp  in  the 
front  window  of  her  bedroom  and  sit  up  be 
side  it  whenever  her  husband  was  detained 
at  his  office  in  the  evenings  by  the  details  of 
a  very  large  business. 

"You  see,  my  dear,"  she  explained,  "no 
man  ever  gets  too  old  to  fly  the  track  in  some 
way.  I  know  that  James  is  true  to  me;  and 
85 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

he  never  drinks  anything  stronger  than  water, 
but  I  cannot  tell  what  he  might  do  if  I  should 
allow  him  to  forget  me  for  a  moment.  So 
when  he  is  out  this  way  he  has  to  bear  it  con 
stantly  in  mind  that  I  am  sitting  up  waiting 
for  him  and  that  I  like  to  retire  early.  This 
makes  him  hurry  home.  Of  course  there  are 
a  thousand  lights  in  this  street,  but  this  one 
shines  just  for  him.  It  helps  a  man's  con 
science,  little  things  like  a  lamp  in  the  window. 
They  are  poor  creatures,  very  sentimental 
morally,  and  have  to  be  managed  this  way." 

It  was  as  though  she  were  speaking  of  a 
child,  and  not  of  one  of  the  most  distinguished 
financiers  of  the  country. 

As  for  me,  I  believe  the  original  woman  set 
a  light  in  her  window  for  her  husband.  There 
is  no  reason  in  the  performance.  It  is  simply 
a  conjugal  instinct.  I  remember  how  I  felt 
this  first  night  that  I  did  it,  as  if  something 
in  me,  unknown  before,  had  been  suddenly 
gratified.  It  may  have  been  a  vanity.  As 
deep  as  you  can  ever  fathom  in  a  woman  you 
86 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 


find  that.  It  is  one  of  the  prayer  pillars 
even  of  her  faithfulness. 

So,  I  say,  I  sat  by  the  window  of  our  house 
and  waited  for  Adam.  My  thoughts  went  one 
by  one  out  in  the  dark  like  wise  virgins  swing 
ing  love's  light,  looking  for  him.  They  sig 
naled  to  one  another  up  and  down  every  street 
of  the  old  town.  A  hundred  times  they  seemed 
to  come  back  to  me,  "We  have  found  him! 
He  is  in  Clancy  Drew  's  office  talking  about  the 
campaign,  "  or  "He  is  over  at  the  Middle- 
brooks'  making  friends  with  the  colonel." 
Each  time  my  heart  leaped  with  relief,  only 
to  sink  down  saddened  as  the  little  telepathic 
tapers  seemed  to  say  after  a  pause  :  "No,  we 
are  mistaken,  he  is  not  there.  If  he  had  been 
so  detained  he  would  have  sent  you  word." 

All  women  who  put  a  light  in  the  window 
and  sit  beside  it  seek  their  husbands  after  this 
fashion. 

At  last  I  heard  the  click  of  the  latch  on  the 
front  gate,  then  a  queer  spongy  step  upon  the 
gravel  walk.  Before  I  had  time  to  wonder 
87 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

who  was  coming  at  that  hour — it  was  past 
midnight — Adam  stood  before  me.  He  had 
a  teetotaling  expression  of  remorse  in  each 
eye  so  heavy  that  he  could  hardly  support  it, 
The  lids  seemed  to  lag  over  it.  There  was  a 
lost-boy  look  about  the  mouth.  His  hat  merely 
clung  like  a  drowning  man  to  the  back  of  his 
head.  His  clothes  were  disheveled,  his  shoes 
covered  with  dust;  and  he  appeared  to  have 
become  suddenly  bowlegged.  As  I  sat  regard 
ing  him  standing  in  the  hall  at  the  open  door 
of  our  room,  this  leg  ellipsis  increased  as  if 
he  were  slowly  sinking  down. 

"Adam!"  I  cried,  "what  is  the  matter  with 
you!" 

"D'no,  Eve,  darlin' — hie — I'm  subject  to 
these  spells.  Don't  worry;  be  all  right  in  th' 
morning ! ' ' 

He  continued  to  regard  me  for  a  moment 
as  a  child  does  who  is  not  sure  whether  its 
mother  will  spank  it  or  weep  over  it.  Then  he 
softly  withdrew  into  the  parlor,  where  I 
heard  him  fall  heavily  upon  the  sofa, 
88 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

As  I  have  already  intimated,  I  have  al 
ways  been  a  dull  woman.  My  body  is  too 
large  and  my  mind  too  small.  I  feel  more  than 
I  can  think.  And  I  think  more  than  it  is 
proper  to  say,  being  a  woman. 

So  now  I  turned  down  the  lamp  and  con 
tinued  to  sit  in  silence,  although  it  was  my 
privilege  to  follow  Adam  into  the  next  room 
and  say  the  things  he  was  expecting  me  to 
say.  I  understood  with  the  clearness  of  hav 
ing  had  a  vision  what  had  happened  to  me. 
It  seemed  to  reach  as  far  as  I  could  see  into 
the  future,  this  sad  mirage  of  myself  sitting 
with  folded  hands  at  night  beside  a  lighted 
window  waiting  for  Adam.  I  had  come  to 
one  of  those  experiences  in  actual  life  that 
desolate  wives  describe  in  their  "confes 
sions,"  looking  over  tear-stained  handker 
chiefs  at  their  readers.  It  is  a  publication 
method  they  have  of  winning  consolation  for 
their  woes.  The  tears  they  shed  are  often 
only  the  watermarks  of  a  good-selling  tale. 
But  I  was  too  near  to  being  Adam's  Eve-rib 
89 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

to  be  guilty  of  this  fault.  It  would  not  have 
comforted  me  to  betray  his  weakness.  How 
ever,  some  time  near  daybreak  I  had  the  im 
pulse  to  cast  myself  upon  the  floor  and  weep 
aloud,  I  was  so  appalled.  This  is  the  truth: 
Many  women  in  their  nerves,  and  nearly  all 
men  in  their  appetites,  remain  childish  to  the 
last.  If  the  woman  about  to  have  hysterics 
would  take  a  highball  she  would  avoid  the 
hysterics  and  be  drunk  instead.  If  the  man 
about  to  take  his  accustomed  highball  re 
sisted  the  temptation  he'd  have  hysterics  in 
stead  and  remain  sober.  We  are  only  male 
and  female  in  gender.  Otherwise  we  are  very 
much  alike. 

But  to  return  to  my  own  experiences  that 
night.  I  finally  compromised  upon  prayer. 
If  there  is  a  good  God  He  has  a  very  poor 
way  of  showing  it  sometimes,  and  this  was 
one  of  those  times  for  me.  Still,  I  was  anx 
ious  to  give  Him  the  benefit  of  the  doubt,  so 
I  knelt  and  prayed.  There  was  nothing  else 
to  do.  Men,  I  have  observed,  can  help  them- 
90 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

selves  more  than  women  can,  and  therefore 
they  are  not  so  much  inclined  to  take  refuge 
upon  the  spiritual  plateaux  of  prayer  when 
in  trouble.  But  for  good  women  life  is  simply 
untenable  without  faith  in  a  paternal  Provi 
dence. 

It  is  so  long  ago  I  cannot  remember  what 
I  said  in  this  petition.  All  I  recall  is  the 
pathetic  peace  I  had  as  I  arose  from  my  knees. 
It  was  founded  upon  nothing  but  resignation 
with  a  rose  in  its  hair.  Keally,  there  is  no 
doubt  about  it,  God  is  good,  or  He  could  not 
create  such  a  tender,  forgiving  clearing-house 
of  sorrows  as  a  woman's  heart  is. 

When  the  sun  arose  that  morning  I  was 
already  shriven  and  bathed  and  dressed  and 
about  my  tasks.  I  had  not  gone  near  the 
parlor.  It  contained  the  skeleton  in  my  closet 
and  I  was  in  no  hurry  to  look  at  the  thing. 
Instead  I  had  milked  the  cow.  Every  re 
spectable  person  in  Booneville  kept  a  cow. 
She  was  milked  morning  and  evening,  then 
turned  into  the  street,  where  she  grazed  un- 
91 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

til  next  milking  time.  Then  she  reappeared 
at  the  back  gate  far  more  intelligently  than 
the  master  sometimes  did  at  the  front.  The 
men  in  Booneville  were  nearly  all  skeletons 
in  their  wives '  closets.  I  never  knew  a 
Booneville  cow  to  make  a  mistake.  The  Mid- 
dlebrooks'  cow  would  have  died  before  she 
would  have  paused  at  evening  at  our  back 
gate.  And  with  equal  distinction  our  own 
cow  never  failed  to  chew  her  cud  under  the 
shade  of  her  own  tree  which  grew  behind  our 
lot  fence.  If  I  were  consulted,  by  the  way, 
I  should  advise  every  ' '  unhappy  wife ' '  whose 
published  "confessions"  are  made  up  so  en 
tirely  of  her  husband's  sins  to  keep  a  cow. 
This  animal  is  of  a  sedative  temperament, 
and  she  furnishes  a  primitive  employment  for 
nerve-racked  women.  My  advice,  too,  is  to 
milk  your  own  cow,  rain  or  shine.  Men  not 
only  are  poor  milkers,  but  they  are  also  stupid 
in  their  relations  to  the  gentlest  of  all  beasts, 
and  receive  very  little  benefit  from  her  be 
yond  the  milk  she  gives  them. 
92 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Well,  then,  as  I  have  said,  on  this  morn 
ing  of  desolation  I  had  got  Spot's  milk  and 
some  of  her  innocuous  peace  of  mind.  I  had 
opened  the  gate  to  her  and  watched  her  past 
the  next  street  corner.  I  had  returned  to 
the  back  porch,  put  the  milk  in  a  yellow 
crock,  set  it  upon  a  white  shelf  in  a  cupboard 
at  the  end  of  the  porch,  and  was  bending 
over  the  churn,  settling  the  top  firmly  around 
the  dasher,  when  I  heard  a  step  behind  me. 
I  dreaded  to  look  up  lest  it  should  be  mother, 
who  sometimes  made  very  early  calls.  I  did 
not  want  her  to  know  what  had  happened. 
Looking  under  the  crook  of  my  arm,  however, 
I  beheld,  not  the  stout  form  of  mother,  but 
Adam's  legs. 

"Eve!" 

It  was  his  Eden  voice. 

I  stood  up  and  looked  at  him.  When  one 
does  not  make  it  up  on  purpose  one  does  not 
always  know  her  own  expression.  I  was  too 
much  astonished  now  to  dramatize  my  own 
countenance,  and  could  not  tell  how  I  ap- 
93 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

peared  to  Adam.  I  had  pictured  the  end  of 
my  happiness  during  the  night,  and  a  hus 
band  that  would  be  to  me  forever  the  body 
of  death  to  which  I  was  bound.  Instead,  I 
beheld  Adam  looking  as  cheerful  and  im 
maculate  as  though  his  guardian  angel  had 
shaved  him  and  dressed  him.  It  was  really 
my  Adam,  not  the  revolting  idiot  I  had  seen 
the  night  before. 

"Eve!  Do  you  know  what  would  have 
happened  if  you  had  not  been  here  this  morn- 
ingf" 

Speech  had  not  yet  returned  to  me.  I  felt 
Adam  beating  upon  my  silence  as  a  man 
knocks  upon  a  closed  door. 

"If  you  had  not  been  here,  Eve,  I  should 
have  gone  out  at  once  and  got  some  more. 
I  should  have  gone  on  drinking.  But  when 
I  awakened  I  remembered  that  my  house  was 
not  empty.  I  thought  of  you  in  the  garden. 
I  knew  that  the  flowers  were  not  orphans  and 
that  I  was  not  alone. " 

He  began  to  laugh  happily,  like  a  child  who 
94 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

has  escaped  from  a  bad  dream.  But  lie  did 
not  approach.  The  churn  and  about  two 
yards  were  between  us. 

"Eve,"  he  went  on,  "if  you  can  forgive 
me  I  swear  it  shall  never  happen  again!" 

I  had  to  pass  the  churn,  walk  those  two 
yards  that  were  as  long  as  a  mile  in  my  pride, 
but  I  did  it.  I  kissed  him. 

I  said  nothing  about  forgiveness.  Accord 
ing  to  my  experience  a  wife  never  forgives 
her  husband  anything.  In  the  first  place,  it 
it  neither  moral  nor  decent  to  do  so.  In  the 
second,  it  is  not  worth  while.  He  will  surely 
commit  the  same  fault  again.  Besides,  love 
has  nothing  to  do  with  forgiveness.  That  day 
I  loved  Adam  as  I  never  had  before.  And  to 
the  disgust  of  all  those  women  who  tattle 
nobly  in  fiction  of  their  outraged  sensibilities 
living  with  brutal  husbands  I'll  confess  here 
that  this  was  a  radiantly  happy  day  for  Adam 
and  a  pitifully  happy  one  for  me.  Every 
hour  of  it  I  felt  a  woman  somewhere  in  my 
heart  crying  hopelessly,  but  not  a  word  of 
95 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

her  lament  escaped  my  lips.  Adam  was  al 
ready  well  of  his  sin.  He  really  believed  it 
was  as  far  from  him  as  the  east  is  from  the 
west.  I  was  slower  recovering  from  the 
wound  of  my  sorrow,  but  I  was  recovering 
after  the  manner  of  women. 

He  spent  the  day  with  me,  sharing  in  de 
lightfully  awkward  man  fashion  all  the  house 
hold  duties.  He  made  a  great  fuss  shaking 
up  the  corner  of  a  feather  bed  in  the  com 
pany  room.  His  efforts  to  smooth  it  were 
so  inadequate,  so  ridiculous,  that  I  began  to 
laugh.  This  afforded  him  so  much  encourage 
ment  that  he  set  himself  the  task  of  amusing 
me  and  causing  me  to  forget.  I  understood 
and  was  grateful,  but  not  for  one  moment 
did  I  forget.  Not  even  when  he  elevated  me 
to  the  pedestal  of  being  his  guardian  angel 
as  well  as  his  wife,  although  I  accepted  the 
pedestal  with  that  feminine  vanity  women 
always  show  about  being  willing  to  be  lifted 
up  on  account  of  their  superior  goodness. 
Jl/ater  I  discovered  that  it  is  not  wise  to  per- 

96 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

mit  one's  husband  to  place  one  on  a  pedestal. 
He  does  not  suspect  such  a  thing,  of  course, 
but  this  is  one  way  he  has  of  confining  his 
wife.  She  is  a  lonesome  little  stool  divinity 
fastened  there  by  her  virtues,  while  he  goes 
his  way  with  fewer  and  has  a  better  time.  He 
is  so  comfortable  about  her  being  at  home  on 
her  pedestal  practicing  the  best  Scriptures 
that  his  mind  is  at  ea£e.  And  it  gets  so  easy 
he  is  capable  of  queer  digressions  even  in 
worship.  The  only  pay  she  receives  is  the 
solemnly  repeated  catalogue  of  her  virtues 
he  makes  to  her  now  and  then  by  way  of 
keeping  her  satisfied  in  confinement.  One  of 
the  things  I  have  learned  is  that  it  is  best 
for  a  woman  to  stay  down  in  the  dust  of  the 
road  with  her  husband,  no  matter  how  plu 
perfect  she  is,  and  to  hike  along  with  him, 
no  matter  how  imperfect  he  is.  Women  were 
not  made  for  pedestal  praise.  And  men  were 
not  made  for  us  to  be  divorced  from  then, 
either  by  our  superior  characters  or  by  the 
courts.  It  is  our  duty  to  keep  wedded  to 

7— Eve's  Second  Husband.  97 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

them.  The  longer  I  have  lived  with  Adam  the 
more  I  am  convinced  that  they  are  created 
for  this  particular  purpose,  and  not  nearly 
so  much  as  they  think  for  the  purpose  of  be 
coming  great  statesmen,  or  (little)  philoso 
phers,  or  financiers,  or  nation  builders.  The 
way  to  build  the  right  kind  of  nation,  in 
cluding  statesmen,  philosophers,  and  so  forth, 
is  to  marry,  remain  married,  to  beget  healthy 
children  and  bring  them  up  properly,  whether 
you  are  elected  to  the  legislature  or  not. 
Woman  cannot  do  this  alone,  neither  can  man. 
They  must  accomplish  it  together  even  if 
they  get  tired  of  one  another. 


98 


EVE  FARMS  ADAM'S 
SOUL 


CHAPTER  V 

EVE  FAKMS  ADAM^S  SOUL 

A  WIFE  is  at  this  disadvantage   as   a 
Boswell  to  her  husband:  she  cannot 
record  all  of  his  life,  but  only  so  much 
of  it  as  relates  to  her  and  comes  under  her 
observation.     This  is  her  serious  limitation 
as  his  biographer  when  you  consider  that  a 
man  is  like  a  tomcat  in  some  ways.    He  may 
be  the  most  virtuous,  the  gentlest  of  domestic 
creatures    at   home,    and    quite    the    reverse 
abroad.     In  this  connection  I  recall  the  dis 
illusionment  of  Mrs.  Sears.    She  was  a  dim- 
headed  woman,  with  an  artificially  cultivated 
soul  and  an  imagination  instead  of  a  mind, 
101 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

?-';  .'''.  V  \  •  ..;  .  VL.  .t. 

who  lived  near  us  in  Booneville.  Her  im 
agination  was  spider-legged,  with  all  manner 
of  thin,  little  old-fashioned  axioms  relating  to 
virtue,  honor  and  courage.  And  she  had  mar 
ried  Mr.  Sears  because  she  said  that  she  felt 
"he  needed  her."  He  was  a  very  large  man, 
with  pink  cheeks,  a  long,  drooping  brown 
mustache  that  gave  him  the  appearance  of  a 
walrus,  and  a  shifty  eye  in  the  presence  of 
women.  I  doubt  if  he  ever  had  voluntarily 
looked  Mrs.  Sears  in  the  face  longer  than  a 
second  at  a  time.  She  attributed  this  to 
timidity.  I  did  not. 

They  had  no  children,  and  without  suspect 
ing  her  maternity  at  all  Mrs.  Sears  adopted 
her  husband  in  the  place  of  more  literal  in 
fants.  She  pottered  over  his  health  in  the 
same  fashion  that  mothers  do  over  getting 
their  children  in  and  out  of  their  winter  flan 
nels,  although  he  was  as  healthy  as  a  rhinoce 
ros.  And  in  the  same  way  she  was  always 
telling  him  what  was  right  and  what  was 
wrong.  Meanwhile,  Sears  purred  so  softly 
102 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

upon  the  window-sill  of  his  wife's  affections 
that  she  had  all  the  satisfaction  of  a  mother 
bringing  up  a  good,  fat-faced  little  boy,  or  of 
an  old  maid  attending  to  her  cat. 

Now,  it  happened  that  Martin's  livery 
stables  were  located  just  around  the  corner, 
back  of  the  "Banner"  office.  One  day  Mrs. 
Sears  had  gone  to  purchase  some  dried  fruit 
and  a  darning  egg  at  Morgan's  store  on  the 
square,  and  in  returning  home  she  had  to  pass 
the  livery  stables.  Just  as  she  came  opposite 
the  wide,  dark  doorway  the  air  about  her 
sacred  ears  was  slit  in  every  direction  by  a 
series  of  oaths  from  within.  Unfortunately 
she  recognized  the  voice  of  the  blasphemer. 
She  started  violently,  turned  her  head  and 
looked  in.  She  beheld  Mr.  Sears  and  Adam 
West,  both  stripped  to  the  waist,  engaged  in 
the  most  brutish  of  all  pastimes,  a  boxing 
match.  And  Sears  was  cheering  himself  on 
according  to  the  language  of  his  nature,  the 
same  as  a  tomcat  screams  when  he  is  fighting. 

For  one  instant  she  regarded  her  cherub 
103 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

husband,  flushed  apple-red  to  his  waist  be 
neath  her  gaze ;  then  she  fled. 

Adam,  returning  home  half  an  hour  after, 
related  the  circumstance  to  me  as  a  joke.  He 
said  that  he  did  not  think  the  man  would  ever 
pluck  up  courage  enough  to  go  home.  He  had 
left  him,  still  half  naked,  sitting  in  one  of 
the  stalls  at  the  stable  too  horrified  of  the 
future  to  resume  his  shirt. 

I  went  over  at  once  to  see  the  outraged  wife, 
divining  that  she  would  be  in  need  of  proper 
sympathy.  I  found  her  stretched  upon  the 
bed,  with  her  hat  still  pinned  on,  almost  in  a 
state  of  catalepsy.  I  had  unpinned  the  hat, 
dampened  a  piece  of  dark  brown  paper  in 
vinegar  and  laid  it  on  her  head — a  favorite 
remedy  for  almost  anything  in  Booneville — 
before  she  experienced  the  blessed  relief  of 
tears.  Never  have  I  witnessed  such  impotent 
and  concentrated  fury  of  grief.  The  trouble 
was  this.  For  the  first  time  she  faced  the  fact 
that  Sears  was  not  a  child  or  a  cat ;  he  was  a 
n*an,  her  husband,  and  too  large  to  spank.  If 
104 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

she  could  have  spanked  him  the  matter  would 
have  been  a  simple  one.    As  it  was,  she  wept. 

".Consider  this,  dear,"  I  submitted  at  last: 
"Profanity  is  a  language  like  any  other.  It 
is  a  masculine  language,  just  as  German  is  to 
us  the  foreign  tongue  of  the  Germans." 

"Do  you  think  so?" 

She  opened  her  eyes  and  regarded  me  like 
a  drowning  man  searching  for  a  straw. 

"I  am  sure  of  it,"  I  consoled. 

"Still,  I  can  never  feel  the  same  to  him 
again !  He  has  crushed  my  ideal ! ' '  she  wailed. 

A  woman  cares  more  for  an  ideal  of  a  per 
son,  even  if  he  is  her  husband,  than  she  ever 
cares  for  him.  And  a  thing  she  rarely  learns 
is  that  a  man  is  exactly  like  her  in  this  respect. 
My  opinion  is  that  many  a  wife  has  shattered 
her  husband's  ideal  of  her  forever  by  doing 
her  hair  up  in  curl-papers  at  night.  And  in 
his  stupid  way  he  suffers  from  the  loss;  but 
bears  it  philosophically,  even  to  seeking  oc 
casionally  a  consolation  who  never  outrages 
his  fancy  by  appearing  in  curl-papers. 
105 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

This  disillusionment  of  Mrs.  Sears,  which 
occurred  soon  after  my  marriage,  warned  me 
in  time.  I  avoided  knowing  anything  more 
than  was  thrust  upon  my  attention  about 
Adam's  tomcat  character  abroad.  This  is 
legitimate  cowardice  in  women.  You  can  save 
your  husband  now  and  then  from  the  conse 
quences  of  his  folly,  but  you  cannot  reform 
him  or  recreate  him  in  your  own  moral  like 
ness — not  if  he  is  worthy  of  the  name  of  man. 
He  can  be  just  as  moral  as  any  woman,  but 
he  has  three  or  four  virtues  not  common  to 
us,  just  as  we  have  five  or  six  not  common 
to  him.  However,  when  you  add  up,  the  totals 
are  about  the  same. 

I  am  coming  to  the  time  presently  when 
Adam  went  on  a  spree,  and  to  the  astounding 
consequences  thereof,  but  for  more  than  three 
years  after  that  first  fall  he  recovered  himself 
so  hastily  from  a  state  of  inebriation  that  one 
scarcely  missed  him.  I  spent  a  good  deal  of 
time  at  night  by  the  lighted  window,  but  not 
in  the  role  of  a  martyred  wife.  I  was  think- 
106 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ing  like  a  house  afire.  The  Eve  in  me  was  be 
coming  stringent — this  is  the  nature  of  Eves : 
first  sweet  patience;  then  comes  the  equinox, 
when  her  storm  sets  in.  I  was  trying  to  make 
up  my  mind  how  to  farm  Adam  to  the  best 
advantage.  Evidently  he  was  proving  a  diffi 
cult  section  of  the  universal  human  ground. 
But  I  knew  he  had  eloquent  soil  in  him  that 
ought  to  yield  some  kind  of  glory,  even  if 
righteousness  was  not  indigenous  to  it.  This 
is  better  than  submitting  to  the  inevitable. 
The  inevitable  in  marriage  is  a  form  of  wifely 
enmity  and  general  damnation.  When  a  wo 
man  begins  to  get  the  use  of  words  like 
"anguish"  and  "resignation"  she  has  really 
got  her  own  little  sniveling  divorce,  and  if 
she  is  living  with  her  husband  at  all  it  is  in  a 
relation  as  ugly  as  though  it  were  illicit.  She 
has  ceased  to  be  his  better  half,  and  is  working 
on  her  crown  of  thorns  and  practicing  her 
role  of  martyrdom.  She  does  not  know  it, 
but  she  has  really  turned  against  him.  This 
is  the  most  common  form  of  marital  infidelity. 
107 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

But,  coming  back  to  Adam,  lie  was  drunk 
rarely  and  was  '  '  drinking ' '  frequently.  How 
ever,  he  used  every  art  known  to  man  in  his 
efforts  to  conceal  both  facts  from  me.  These 
little  breath-pill  hypocrisies  of  husbands  are 
lies,  of  course,  but  they  are  really  told  out  of 
consideration  for  the  nervous  feelings  of  their 
wives,  who  are  apt  to  fall  back  and  weep  if 
they  smell  liquor  when  the  salutation  kiss  is 
given  at  evening.  Also,  the  weeping  is  not 
only  mortifying ;  it  is  too  harrowing  to  be  en 
dured  by  the  male  conscience.  This,  in  my 
opinion,  is  the  true  explanation  of  the  breath- 
pill  and  clove-chewing  habit  among  men.  If 
they  never  went  into  the  sensitive,  con 
scientious  presence  of  women  they  would  not 
care  how  much  they  smelt  to  mere  Heaven  of 
their  vices. 

I  could  always  tell  when  Adam  had  been 
"drinking,"  not  by  any  bibulous  odor  about 
him,  or  even  by  his  coloring,  which  remained 
unimpeachable  ivory  under  all  circumstances ; 
but  by  his  beautiful  manner  of  entering  his 
108 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

home  at  evening.  If  he  had  done  nothing 
wrong  that  day  he  came  in  like  a  common 
place  specimen  of  his  sex,  a  trine  irritable  till 
he  was  fed.  But  if  his  conscience  pained  him 
he  put  on  a  brave  front  and  tried  to  hide  be 
neath  the  fig-leaves  of  a  sweet,  false  gayety. 

Different  men  have  different  methods  of 
concealing  themselves  from  the  sad,  virtuous 
eyes  of  their  womankind,  but  if  they  have  any 
bowels  of  compassion  at  all  they  do  it.    Mother 
and  I,  during  my  girlhood,  invariably  knew, 
for  example,  when  father  had  been  drinking 
too  much  of  his  own  "  bitters. "     He  would 
come  in  the  front  gate  without  clicking  it, 
enter  the  house  without  a  sound,  creep  up 
stairs  to  the  "company  room,"  undress  and 
get  in  bed,  and  lie  as  still  as  if  he  were  trying 
to  be  his  own  corpse.    It  was  not  because  he 
dreaded  what  mother  might  say  to  him.     It 
was  because  he  had  the  same  feeling  the  first 
man  had  when  God  walked  in  the  garden  at 
evening.    There  is  nothing  in  life  so  grotesque 
and  persistent  and  ineffective  as  this  Adam- 
109 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

habit  all  decent  men  have  of  hiding  from  good 
women  when  they  have  done  wrong,  or  even 
what  they  think  the  woman  will  think  wrong* 

Some  good  people  will  condemn  me  for  not 
taking  more  stringent  measures  with  Adam 
the  very  moment  that  I  discovered  that  he  was 
at  least  dallying  with  his  besetting  sin.  But 
I  have  my  own  ideas  about  this,  and  that  is 
why  I  am  writing  these  chronicles  of  a  real 
married  life.  I  am  setting  them  down  for 
women  who  begin  to  contemplate  getting  a  di 
vorce  before  they  have  learned  enough  about 
not  getting  a  divorce.  After  a  young  wife 
passes  out  of  the  wedding-ring  glamour  of  the 
first  year  of  her  marriage  she  is  more  than  apt 
to  be  in  the  state  of  a  chicken  with  the  head  off. 
Her  wings  keep  on  moving,  but  her  mind  does 
not. 

It  is  during  this  crucial  period  that  she 
makes  the  mistake  of  hardening  her  heart 
against  a  husband  who  has  developed  scandal 
ous  imperfections  that  the  lover  never  showed, 
or  of  clinging  to  his  stubborn  neck  and  weep- 
110 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ing  and  pleading  with  him  to  '  '  Stop ! "  It  is 
best  not  to  do  either.  In  the  first  place,  you 
cannot  exasperate  a  man  toward  righteous 
ness  unless  he  is  a  poor  creature  whom  you 
could  not  respect  even  after  he  got  there. 
But  he  has  much  the  nature  of  a  mule,  and 
once  he  learns  the  use  of  the  kicking  hind  legs 
of  his  disposition  in  the  matrimonial  traces 
you  have  simply  ruined  him  for  the  race.  He 
balks  and  he  is  forever  damaging  the  dash 
board  of  your  affections.  In  the  second  place, 
a  man's  moral  nature  is  very  nearly  a  fiction 
anyhow;  and  it  is  one  of  the  most  important 
duties  of  a  wife  never  to  let  her  husband  dis 
cover  this  fact,  but  to  instil  into  him  a  noble, 
false  impression  of  his  character.  If  you  are 
shrewd  enough  and  honest  enough  about  it 
he  will  do  his  best  every  now  and  then  to 
live  up  to  it. 

The  nearest  I  ever  came  to  lecturing  Adam 

in  those  days  about  his  tippling  habit  was 

not  to  lecture  him,  but  to  withdraw  from  his 

society  gently,  apparently  without  intention. 

Ill 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

When  lie  returned  home  in  the  evening  from 
the  office  I  did  not  meet  him  at  the  door.  I 
appeared  very  innocently  to  have  forgotten 
him.  I  was  in  the  garden  with  the  flowers. 
He  would  find  me  there  in  the  mood  no  man 
understands  when  a  woman  looks  dimly 
through  him  and  wants  to  kiss  her  hand  to 
her  dear  guardian  angel  instead  of  thinking 
to  kiss  him  as  usual.  He  is  not  piqued ;  he  is 
alarmed,  like  the  woman  in  the  Scriptures 
who  lost  a  piece  of  her  wedding  money  and 
tore  up  everything  looking  for  it.  The 
searches  I  have  seen  Adam  make  for  me  when 
we  were  sitting  side  by  side  somewhere  were 
among  the  most  delightful  experiences  of  my 
early  married  life. 

Writing  this  recalls  one  such  incident  to  my 
mind.  It  was  two  years  after  our  marriage. 
Adam  had  been  elected  to  the  legislature  with 
a  good  majority  over  Colonel  Middlebrook. 
He  had  attended  the  sessions  in  Nashville,  but 
between  times  he  was  at  home  in  Booneville, 
editing  the  "  Banner  "  and  developing  almost  a 
112 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

pastoral  relation  to  every  voter  in  the  county 
and  even  in  the  surrounding  counties.  He  was 
very  busy,  often  very  tired,  and  naturally 
stimulated  himself  from  some  hidden  source 
upon  trying  occasions.  I  have  neglected  to 
set  down  the  important  detail  that  Boone- 
ville  was  in  a  "  local  option "  county,  where  it 
was  illegal  to  sell  liquor,  but  where  it  was  in 
creasingly  natural  to  want  it  and  to  get  it. 
Men  are  so  funny  and  illogical  in  matters  of 
government.  They  do  not  govern  themselves. 
They  quiet  their  consciences  by  making  a  law 
that  covers  the  situation,  but  not  them ! 

Adam  had  been  making  speeches  here  and 
there,  and  had  returned  home  once  or  twice 
dangerously  near  intoxication.  Late  one  af 
ternoon  he  found  me  in  the  garden.  That,  it 
self,  had  come  to  be  a  bad  sign;  but  I  never 
rubbed  it  in.  I  could  hail  Adam  sweetly  and 
cheerfully,  and  still  give  the  impression  of  not 
having  him  in  my  thoughts. 

We  were  sitting  upon  a  bench  near  a  flower 
ing  pink  crape  tree.  I  held  a  trowel  in  one 

8 — Eve's  Second  Husband.  1T3 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

hand  and  the  folds  of  my  white  muslin  skirt 
in  the  other.  This  left  no  hand  for  Adam.  He 
felt  it.  I  knew  that,  for  an  Eve,  I  was  looking 
particularly  well — in  place,  among  my  flowers. 
Adam  felt  that  also,  and  his  own  inappropri- 
ateness.  But  there  was  always  something  in 
effably  winning  about  him  as  a  penitent, 
which  could  in  a  moment  wipe  the  very 
memory  of  his  transgression  out  of  my  mind 
and  restore  him  to  the  Holy  Grail  order  of 
things  in  my  imagination.  I  know  this  is  not 
logically  self-respecting.  Logically  one  should 
maintain  the  flaming-sword-of-judgment  atti 
tude  in  such  a  circumstance  till  the  husband 
has  proved  his  worthiness.  But  a  wife  can 
be  self-respecting  without  being  logical,  thank 
God !  which  is  the  advantage  of  having  a  loose 
faculty  and  a  wise  heart. 

"Eve,"  said  Adam,  as  he  sat  beside  me 
looking  at  the  early  spring  garden  in  full 
bloom  about  us,  "flowers  are  the  dust  of  all 
the  women  that  have  died  and  been  resur 
rected.  The  roses  over  there  come  from  the 
114 


FLOWERS  ARE  THE  DUST  OF  ALL  THE  WOMEN  THAT  HAVE  DIED 
AXD  BEEN  EESURRECTED.  ' ' 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ashes  of  the  red  hearts  of  beautiful  ladies 
who  rode  long  ago  in  the  king's  pageants. 
And  those  yellow  jasmines,  they  spring  from 
the  bitter  poisoned  dust  of  women  that  sinned 
and  died  damned.  And  these  little  white  ones 
that  stand  so  low  to  the  ground,  with  bowed 
blossoms  like  novitiates  at  prayer,  they  come 
up  out  of  the  dust  of  sad,  good  women  who 
died  counting  their  beads  ages  and  ages  ago.'* 

I  felt  Adam's  knighthood  eye  bent  reveren 
tially  on  me  and  a  sensation  as  if  my  face  were 
being  made  into  a  rose,  and  my  fingers  were 
about  to  bloom  into  white  prayer-blossoms. 

There  was  a  sweet  decimal  of  silence  be 
tween  us— not  like  the  silence  between  Lovers, 
but  a  sweeter  silence :  then  Adam  went  on : 

"Eve,  if  you  could  come  back  from  wher 
ever  you  are,  if  you  could  come  back  into  my 
foreground,  where  mankind's  pillar  of  cloud 
by  day  and  of  fire  by  night  ought  to  move, 
so  that  he  can  see  which  way  to  go— I  say,  if 
you  will,  I'll  undertake  to  make  a  better  show 
ing  in  your  direction!" 
115 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

This  was  his  way  of  reforming  and  of  mak 
ing  peace  with  me  and  the  flowers.  If  the 
worst  came  to  the  worst,  he  went  into  the 
house  and  vowed  it  before  the  center  table 
in  the  parlor,  then  recorded  the  vow  in  the 
Bible,  which  always  rested  there  for  this  pur 
pose.  After  that  we  invariably  had  supper 
and  a  happy,  shriven,  conscience-cleared  even 
ing  together,  during  which  he  told  me  of  his 
ambitions  and  of  the  growing  strength  of  his 
political  hopes.  And  of  course  you  may  say 
that  the  whole  occasion  was  founded  upon 
sentimental  folly,  that  the  facts  remained  the 
same — Adam  had  been  drunk;  he  would  be  a 
drunkard  in  the  future.  But  that  was  not 
the  only  fact.  The  most  important  one  to  con 
sider  was  that  he  still  loved  me  dearly  in  spite 
of  my  virtuousness — I  had  not  discovered  my 
own  faultiness  yet.  Wives  rarely  do  in  the 
early  years  of  their  marriage,  owing  to  their 
having  accepted  the  pedestal-angel  attitude  to 
their  husbands.  And  some  of  them  never  do 
get  down  or  find  out  their  irritating  limi- 
116 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tations  as  wives.  You  can  always  distinguish 
them  by  their  idiotic  aloofness  from  their  hus 
bands.  They  practice  matrimonial  illiteracy 
from  their  bridehood  even  down  to  old  age. 
And  in  Heaven  I  have  no  doubt  that  they  will 
be  recognized  as  static,  old  fat  saints,  whose 
stupidities  tickle  the  very  angels. 

But  I  am  not  coming  on  fast  enough  chron 
ologically  with  this  record.  It  is  so  pleasant 
writing  just  about  Adam,  instead  of  the  things 
Adam  did,  which  were  largely  mysterious  to 
me.  I  never  understood  the  methods  he  em 
ployed  so  successfully  in  his  political  career. 
A  "caucus"  seemed  a  fearful  thing  to  me, 
where  Adam  wrote  out  his  favorite  destiny 
on  a  " slate"  and  got  the  most  influential  men 
in  the  county  to  sign  it.  I  used  to  be  so  dread 
fully  afraid  they  would  refuse.  But  they 
never  did.  Not  only  that,  these  same  influ 
ential  citizens  followed  him  blindly  as  though 
he  were  the  Pandora  box  of  their  great  ex 
pectations.  Occasionally  one  of  them  re 
ceived  a  clerkship  at  the  Capitol,  or  got  his 
117 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

little  boy  appointed  as  a  "page"  in  the  hall 
of  Bepresentatives.  And  Adam  was  growing 
in  the  grace  that  is  peculiar  to  public  men. 
He  was  accomplished  in  his  personal  appear 
ance.  He  did  not  age  at  all,  being  as  im 
pervious  to  the  wrinkles  of  regret  and  remorse 
as  a  young  child.  And  he  had  a  gift  for  in 
spiring  the  most  extravagant  confidence  in  his 
political  followers.  What  he  did  not  really 
accomplish  he  hoped  so  high  to  accomplish 
that  he  was  invariably  elected  upon  the 
strength  of  his  anticipations  rather  than  his 
actual  achievements. 

He  was  a  candidate  for  reelection  to  the 
legislature  the  second  time  when  the  issue  of 
the  campaign  suddenly  came  down  out  of  the 
region  of  his  promised  land  and  settled  be 
tween  him  and  his  antagonist  at  home.  It 
was  the  "Cause  of  Temperance."  The  ques 
tion  of  local  option  was  up  again.  Clancy 
Drew  appeared  as  the  young  Elijah  candidate 
who  would  introduce  a  bill  at  the  next  session 
of  the  legislature  that  would  remove  the  ob- 
118 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

noxious  local  option  law  which  has  restricted 
the  liberty  of  freeborn  Democrats  in  Boone 
County  for  a  number  of  years.  This  was  very 
embarrassing  to  Adam,  for  he  had  meant  to 
promise  this  very  reward  himself  if  he 
were  reelected.  This  situation  was  the  more 
critical  because  Clancy  was  related  to  half 
the  population  of  the  county  and  could  de 
pend  upon  his  kinsmen  to  vote  for  him,  and 
Adam  was  related — and  that  only  by  marriage 
— to  two  old  men,  father  and  my  uncle,  Sam 
Langston,  both  of  whom  were  influential,  but 
not  almighty.  There  was  a  large  minority  of 
temperance  voters  in  the  county,  but  since 
they  were  distinctly  the  minority  neither  can 
didate  pledged  himself  to  their  interests. 

I  was  far  from  understanding  all  this  at 
the  time.  What  I  did  understand  was  that 
Adam  was  at  his  wits'  end,  politically  speak 
ing.  There  was  nothing  to  do  in  the  face  of 
such  odds  but  to  get  drunk,  and  he  did.  It 
was  not  a  transitory  intoxication  of  an  even 
ing,  but  a  "spree"  that  lasted  exactly  seven 
119 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

days.  At  first  he  came  home  late  at  night 
looking  like  an  ash-cat-Sam,  who  comes  home 
to  crawl  through  a  hole  and  under  the  house. 
Adam  ignored  me  and  slept  upon  the  parlor 
sofa.  The  third  night  he  did  not  return  at 
all,  nor  the  fourth,  nor  the  fifth.  I  was  like 
a  speculator  whose  margins  are  about  to  fail 
him.  I  had  given  up  the  idea  of  Adam's  being 
good,  but  I  cherished  with  a  Spartan  passion 
the  expectation  of  his  becoming  great.  To  me 
that  has  always  seemed  an  unexpurgated  form 
of  goodness.  Besides,  when  you  think  of  it, 
married  women  are  curious  things  morally. 
Love  warps  them.  They  think  what  is  right, 
and  do  as  nearly  as  they  can  what  their  hus 
bands  want  them  to  do,  whether  it  is  right  or 
not.  And  this  was  one  of  the  times  when  I 
prayed,  as  usual,  "Thy  will  be  done!"  and 
also  that  Adam  might  be  enabled  to  ac 
complish  his  will,  leaving  the  Lord  to  take 
His  choice  of  which  He  would  grant,  for 
the  two  were  apparently  far  from  being 
synonymous, 

12Q 


EVE  LAUGHS  AND  ADAM 
"HAS  IT  IN  HIM" 


CHAPTER  VI 


EVE  LAUGHS  AND  ADAM  "HAS  IT  IN  HIM" 


DURING  this  week,  for  the  first  time 
since    my    marriage    to    Adam,    I 
thought  often  of  Mr.  Bailey;  not  re 
gretfully,  you  understand,  but  I  thought  of 
him  as  you  recall  a  shade  in  which  you  once 
slept.     The  cemetery  was  on  a  hill  outside 
the  town  and  visible  from  my  garden.    The 
arbor-vitse  above  Mr.  Bailey's  grave  was  so 
green,  so  clearly  defined  against  the  horizon, 
that  it  became  personal.    I  had  not  been  up 
there  since  the  day  I  met  Adam  in  the  road. 
Nearly  three  years  had  passed.    It  was  early 
summer.     I   thought   of  the   flowers  I  had 
123 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

planted  and  wondered  how  they  fared.  The 
old  evergreen  tree  seemed  to  signal:  "Come 
and  see!  We  are  very  quiet  up  here."  It 
was  queer.  I  concluded  to  wait  as  long  as 
I  could,  and  if  Adam  did  not  come  home  I 
would  go  up  there  and  see  how  the  flowers 
did.  I  went  in,  set  some  yeast  to  rise  for 
the  morning  bread,  stuck  my  finger  under 
the  cream  in  the  crocks  on  the  cupboard 
shelf  to  see  whether  the  milk  had  turned, 
swept  up  the  beard  that  the  oak  had  shed 
upon  the  back  porch,  and  did  a  thousand  lit 
tle  things  mechanically,  the  way  women  do 
when  they  are  thinking  strictly  to  themselves. 
Then  I  put  on  my  hat  and  went  out  through 
the  garden.  I  was  in  a  tremor  all  along  the 
road  to  the  cemetery  lest  I  should  be  seen 
and  recognized.  When  I  reached  the  gate  I 
was  disagreeably  excited,  and  paused  as  a 
stranger  does  before  he  goes  in  for  audience 
with  a  difficult  person.  It  was  at  this  mo 
ment  that  I  caught  sight  of  the  grave  under 
the  arbor-vitae  and  started  as  though  I  had 
124 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

seen  a  miracle.  It  was  a  mass  of  flowers,  as 
though  Mr.  Bailey  had  shed  his  harp  and 
crown  there  in  white  and  golden  blossoms. 

I  do  not  know  how  long  I  stood  there  as 
tounded,  but  at  last  I  found  myself  walking 
back  rapidly  along  the  road.  I  had  not  en 
tered  the  cemetery.  One  does  not  go  too  near 
a  haunted  grave,  even  if  it  is  haunted  only 
by  flowers. 

It  was  dark  when  I  reached  home.  I  found 
Enos  Todd  waiting.  He  was  a  youth  of  eigh 
teen  whom  Adam  employed  as  printer  and 
devil  at  the  "Banner"  office.  He  had  a  look 
of  deep  concern  upon  his  freckled  face  as  he 
stood,  hat  in  hand,  before  me  under  the  hall 
lamp. 

"Mrs.  West,  do  you  know  where  Colonel 
West  is!" 

"He  is  away  on  business.  What  do  you 
want,  Enos?" 

The  boy  looked  at  me  queerly.     The  fact 
is,  I  did  not  know  where  Adam  was,  and  it 
is  just  possible  that  he  did  know. 
125 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"The  'Banner'  comes  out  day  after  to-mor 
row,  and  there  is  not  a  line  of  editorial  copy 
in  the  office/'  Enos  blurted  out. 

"You'll  be  sure  to  hear  from  Mr.  West  in 
the  morning  mail, ' '  I  replied. 

He  stood  a  moment  considering  me,  with 
the  troubled  air  of  a  young  gosling,  then 
made  for  the  door,  still  turning  his  hat  like 
a  top  upon  one  of  his  fingers. 

"Good  night,  Enos." 

"Good  night,  Mrs.  West."  He  hesitated 
upon  the  doorstep.  "If  the  colonel  don't 
send  that  copy  in  the  morning  I  could  put 
in  'Furl  That  Banner.'  He's  fond  of  them 
dog-howling  songs  of  the  Confederacy."  He 
was  a  good  critic  and  did  not  know  it. 

"Leave  that  banner  furled,  Enos.  You'll 
find  all  the  copy  you  need  in  the  morning 
mail." 

I  was  frightened.    If  the  "Banner"  did  not 

appear  everybody  would  know  why.    If  it  did 

appear  without   editorials   they  would   still 

know.    So  long  as  a  man  attends  to  his  busi- 

126 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ness  the  public  does  not  count  his  drinks. 
When  he  fails  they  notice  if  he  takes  even 
a  glass  of  root  beer.  The  "Banner"  had  to 
come  out  and  there  must  be  the  usual  edi 
torial. 

But  what  was  to  be  done  about  it?  I  had 
never  written  a  line  for  publication  in  my  life. 
It  was  difficult  for  me  to  write  even  a  short 
letter. 

I  ransacked  my  incompetency  from  A  to 
izzard.  Then  I  arose,  went  into  the  kitchen, 
climbed  the  ladder  that  led  to  the  loft,  lighted 
a  candle  and  stumbled  over  broken  chairs 
and  rolls  of  wornout  carpet  till  I  came  to  an 
old  horsehair  trunk.  It  had  been  Mr.  Bailey 's. 
After  his  death  I  crammed  it  full  of  his  writ 
ings  and  forgot  them.  Now  I  lifted  the  lid 
and  began  to  look  for  something — I  scarcely 
knew  what.  It  was  like  rustling  the  yellow 
leaves  of  a  dead  man's  morality.  However, 
I  was  in  the  mood  to  rattle  his  very  bones  if 
by  doing  so  I  might  save  Adam.  Presently 
I  came  upon  a  neatly  folded  manuscript.  It 
127 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

was  labeled  i '  Temperance, ' '  and  I  recollected 
that  the  temperance  people  were  contemplat 
ing  a  law-enforcement  campaign  at  the  time 
of  Mr.  Bailey's  death.  I  opened  and  read  the 
thing.  It  was  written  in  Mr.  Bailey's  God- 
have-mercy-upon-us !  style,  something  be 
tween  a  sob  and  a  steam  whistle,  and  was  a 
fairly  accurate  statement  of  the  intemperate 
conditions  that  still  existed  in  Boone  County ; 
and  it  contained  a  loud  imprecation  at  the 
increasing  blind-tigerishness  of  Booneville  in 
particular.  It  closed  with  a  plea  for  the 
youths  who  must  grow  up  hardened  and  dis 
sipated  in  such  an  atmosphere. 

Nothing  could  be  more  to  the  point.  I 
closed  the  trunk,  made  my  way  down  the 
ladder,  copied  the  posthumous  editorial  as 
nearly  as  I  could  in  Adam's  scrawling  hand, 
sealed  it,  and  hurried  out  to  mail  it  to  Enos 
Todd,  with  a  short  note  purporting  to  come 
from  Adam. 

On  my  way  back  from  the  posiomce  I  saw 
father  and  mother  sitting  in  the  moonlight 
128 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

on  the  veranda  at  home,  and  I  went  in.  I 
was  still  thinking  of  what  I  had  seen  at  the 
cemetery. 

They  never  talked,  those  two.  When  they 
sat  down  together  in  the  evening  it  was  as 
though  they  sat  far  apart  in  a  common  grave, 
the  silence  was  so  natural  between  them. 
This  was  what  I  interrupted  when  I  came  up 
the  steps.  Immediately  after  the  common 
place  salutations  father  knocked  the  ashes 
out  of  his  pipe  against  the  banisters,  arose 
from  his  chair  and  went  in. 

"Mother,"  I  said,  "do  you  know  who  is 
taking  care  of  Mr.  Bailey's  grave ?" 

"Yes;  it  is  Adam." 

"Adam!"  I  exclaimed. 

"He  employed  the  sexton  to  attend  to  it 
soon  after  your  marriage,  and  every  spring 
he  looks  after  the  planting  of  the  seeds  him 
self.  I  have  seen  him  there." 

An  overwhelming  curiosity  seized  me. 

"How  did  he  look  when  you  saw  him  plant 
ing  things  on  Mr.  Bailey's  grave?" 

g— Eve 's  Second  Husband.  129 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Interested;  very  much  in  earnest." 

Mother  had  no  sense  of  humor,  and,  as  is 
often  the  case  with  such  persons,  she  could 
say  the  most  diverting  things  without  sus 
pecting  it. 

"Your  husband  is  a  remarkable  man,"  she 
said  after  a  pause. 

"I  know  it,"  I  replied;  "but  sometimes  I 
wish  he  were  less  remarkable  and  better." 

"In  the  beginning  God  created  Eve  to  sat 
isfy  Adam.  He  never  has  made  a  man  that 
could  satisfy  a  woman.  But  this  is  the  truth : 
a  good  man  does  not  often  make  a  good  hus 
band.  He  is  apt  to  be  more  in  love  with  his 
piety,  or  his  church,  or  even  a  tract,  than  he 
is  with  his  wife.  Adam  adores  you  because 
he  thinks  you  are  good  and  because  he  knows 
he  is  not.  This  is  not  a  bad  arrangement. 
There  never  was  a  wife  happy  forever.  Make 
up  your  mind  to  that  and  do  the  best  you 
can." 

It  was  as  though  I  heard  the  ancient  mother 
of  life  lamenting. 

130 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Adam  did  not  return  the  next  day,  nor  the 
next  after  that.  But  the  " Banner"  appeared 
as  usual  on  Saturday  morning.  It  created  a 
furore  in  town.  At  last  the  lines  were  drawn. 
The  issue  of  the  coming  campaign  was  clearly 
defined.  The  minority  read  Adam's  editorial 
on  temperance  with  amazement  and  delight. 
The  distinctly  good  people  had  been,  so  far, 
the  only  political  enemies  he  had  made.  They 
distrusted  him  and  voted  against  him  as  they 
would  have  voted  against  having  a  dancing 
pavilion.  Now  they  were  the  one  class  ready 
to  support  him,  on  the  strength  of  that  edi 
torial.  They  had  not  supposed  him  capable 
of  such  high-mindedness.  They  would  not 
have  believed  it  if  they  had  not  seen  it  in  the 
"Banner,"  and  so  forth. 

Sunday  morning,  as  the  church*  bells  were 
ringing,  Adam  made  of  himself  an  apparition 
at  the  door  of  his  own  house.  He  looked  like 
a  man  who  has  had  a  terrible  illness,  or  who 
has  passed  through  a  long  season  of  prayer 
and  fasting.  He  was  thin,  haggard  and  very 
131 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

mournful.  Even  his  clothes  drooped  as 
though  they  had  suffered. 

"I  say,  Eve,"  he  exclaimed  as  he  caught 
sight  of  me  in  the  hall,  "what  is  the  matter 
with  me?" 

"I  wish  I  knew,  Adam.    What  is?" 

He  entered  the  door,  brushed  past  me  and 
stepped  briskly  into  the  parlor,  where  he  sat 
down.  I  perceived  that  he  was  perfectly 
sober  and  that  he  was  laboring  under  some 
strong  excitement. 

"What  has  happened?"  I  asked,  standing 
before  him. 

"That's  what  I  want  to  know.  Am  I  my 
self  or  not?" 

He  rolled  his  eyes  up  at  me  beseechingly 
and  went  on:  "Just  now,  as  I  was  coming 
home,  I  met  all  the  church  people,  and  every 
one  of  them  spoke  to  me — fellows  that  never 
do.  Old  Dodson  wrung  my  hand,  and  said: 
'God  bless  you,  West;  I  knew  it  was  in  you!' 
Then  that  worm-saint,  Falkner,  stopped  me 
and  said  he  was  glad  I  had  come  out  on  the 
132 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

right  side ;  that  he  '  knew  it  was  in  me. '  After 
that  every  one  of  those  dovetailed  saints  who 
sit  in  the  arnen  corner  at  church,  and  that 
have  hated  me  like  poison  for  years,  spoke 
to  me  as  if  they  were  the  ninety-and-nine  and 
I  the  lost  sheep  that  made  up  the  proper  hun 
dred." 

Adam  looked  down  a  moment,  regarding 
himself  with  the  same  kind  of  amazement 
that  a  man  would  who  heard  the  voice  of  a 
ventriloquist  in  his  nearest  clothes.  He  leaped 
to  his  feet. 

"Hell!"  he  exclaimed.  "What  is  it  that 
so  many  people  knew  was  'in'  me  that  I 
didn't?" 

He  caught  his  breath  in  a  kind  of  sob.  I 
thought  he  must  be  delirous. 

"Adam,"  I  said  gently,  "hadn't  we  better 
call  the  doctor?" 

"No!"  he  screamed;  "he  might  talk  about 
it,  too,  and  if  anybody  else  mentions  it  till 
I  find  out  what  it  is  I'll  not  answer  for  the 
consequences ! ' ' 

133 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

He  remained  seated  like  a  man  wrapped 
in  a  brown  study  for  more  than  two  hours. 
Occasionally  he  dozed,  only  to  awake  with 
a  start  to  stare  about  him  excitedly.  After 
dinner,  which  was  a  midday  meal  in  Boone- 
ville,  he  put  on  his  hat  and  started  for  the 
"  Banner "  office.  This  was  his  custom  on 
Sunday  afternoons. 

I  had  forgotten,  in  the  anxieties  of  the 
morning,  the  temperance  editorial,  and  in  my 
ignorance  I  had  never  suspected  what  effect 
it  might  have  upon  Adam's  political  fortunes. 

I  was  seated  upon  the  milking-stool  beside 
old  Spot's  hind  legs,  with  my  head  resting 
upon  her  sleek  flank,  stripping  the  last  drops 
of  milk  from  her,  when  I  saw  Adam  coming 
toward  me  through  the  garden.  Something 
in  his  manner  alarmed  me.  He  was  pale  to 
the  lips,  and  stepped  along  as  though  he 
might  break  into  a  run  at  any  moment.  He 
held  a  copy  of  the  " Banner"  in  his  hand. 

I  arose,  caught  the  bucket  of  milk  by  the 
handle  and  hurried  to  meet  him. 
134 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Adam!  Adam!"  I  cried.  "What  is  the 
matter?" 

"My  God,  Eve,  I'm  haunted!  The  'Ban 
ner'  is  haunted!  Bailey  edited  it  last  week. 
Bailey,  I  tell  you,  who  has  been  dead  these 
four  years!  Sent  Todd  an  editorial  on  tem 
perance  in  my  handwriting.  Todd  says  you 
could  have  knocked  him  down  with  a  feather 
when  he  saw  such  sentiments  from  me — says 
there  was  a  note  inside  telling  him  to  get  the 
paper  out  on  time — says  my  name  was  signed 
to  it!" 

All  this  came  from  him  in  a  fury  of  excite 
ment  and  so  rapidly  that  at  first  I  was  con 
fused;  then  the  situation  slowly  cleared  be 
fore  me  and  I  began  to  laugh.  I  was  never 
a  laughing  woman  by  nature.  A  smile  is 
usually  as  far  as  I  ever  go  toward  mirth,  but 
now  I  was  swept  away  into  a  gale  of  laughter. 
And  the  more  I  thought  this  way.  and  that,  the 
more  I  laughed.  I  saw  concentrated  wrath 
and  black  suspicion  gathering  between 
Adam's  brows,  but  I  could  not  stop.  I  set 
135 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

down  the  bucket  of  milk  in  the  path  and 
dropped  down  beside  it  on  the  grass.  I 
plucked  feebly  at  Adam's  trousers  leg  to  in 
dicate  that  I  sympathized  and  would  explain 
presently,  but  I  continued  in  a  state  of  inar 
ticulate  mirth. 

1  i  Eve ! "  he  shouted  in  a  terrible  voice,  ' i  do 
you  think  I  am  drunk?  Don't  you  suppose  I 
know  the  dead-cat  style  of  Bailey's  writings!" 
He  turned  his  head  away  and  murmured: 
"And  to  think  I've  been  cultivating  rare 
plants  on  that  demon's  o-rave  for  three 
years ! ' ' 

1 '  Adam, ' '  I  cried  feebly, ' '  stop !  It  was  not 
poor  Mr.  Bailey!" 

"Who,  then?"  he  demanded. 

"I  did  it!" 

"You!  Do  you  think  I'll  believe  you  wrote 
that  thing?" 

"I  didn't  write  it,  Adam.  I  sent  it  to 
Enos." 

The  veins  began  to  swell  in  his  temples. 
That  sobered  me.  I  began  to  explain,  and  as 
136 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  went  on  I  realized  how  much  I  had  suffered 
during  the  dreadful  days  of  suspense.  I  re 
called  how  frightened  I  was  of  the  dark  at 
nights.  I  remembered  how  through  it  all  I 
had  but  one  thought,  to  save  Adam  from  the 
consequences  of  his  fault;  and  suddenly  I 
began  to  cry.  I  have  never  been  any  more 
of  a  crying  woman  than  a  laughing  one ;  but, 
once  I  started,  it  seemed  I  could  not  stop  cry 
ing  either.  I  laid  my  head  upon  the  grass, 
covered  my  face  with  my  hands  and  sobbed 
aloud.  I  declined  to  consider  the  minis 
trations  of  Adam,  who  was  all  contrition  and 
very  fervent  in  his  efforts  to  draw  my  hands 
away  from  my  face.  It  is  one  of  the  queer 
features  of  a  man's  stupidity  that  he  never 
can  see  a  woman  cry  without  being  guilty  of 
the  sacrilege  of  trying  to  drag  down  her  hands 
and  uncover  her  face. 

Adam  could  not  sing  a  note,  but  he  had  a 

queer  thing  that  he  thought  was  a  tune  which 

he  often  droned  through  his  nose.    This  was  a 

sign  that  he  was  in  a  happy  mood ;  that  he  was 

137 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

either  thinking  out  an  editorial  or  a  campaign 
ing  policy.  The  following  morning  I  heard 
him  whanging  at  a  great  rate  as  he  cleared  off 
his  mail.  He  was  seated  at  an  old  "  secre 
tary"  in  the  parlor,  with  his  hat  on  the  back 
of  his  head,  a  cigar  tilted  up  between  his  lips, 
his  hands  busy  sorting  letters. 

"Eve,  darling!"  he  called.  I  was  always 
endeared  thus  immediately  after  he  recovered 
from  a  transgression  and  before  he  commit 
ted  another.  ' '  Eve,  adorable  first  woman,  you 
have  saved  my  life,  politically  speaking.  I 
have  determined  to  run  on  the  anti-liquor 
ticket  against  Clancy  Drew." 

"But  I  thought  you  were  opposed  to  local 
option,  Adam."  It  was  before  the  days  of 
"state-wide"  temperance  talk. 

"I  am,  was,  and  have  been,  beloved  of  my 
soul;  but  these  people  need  me  on  the  other 
side.  My  countrymen  call.  I  sacrifice  my  own 
personal  opinions,  and  I  answer.  I  place  my 
self  at  their  disposal.  Henceforth  you  have  a 
model  husband,  a  cauliflower-saint  with  the 
138 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

dew  of  heaven  upon  his  brow  and  nothing 
stronger  upon  his  lips.  I  have  the  minority 
and  the  two  strongest  sentiments  of  the  South 
at  my  disposal  already.  First,  there  is  the 
1  Lost  Cause,'  that  is  our  ideal  in  the  past. 
You  have  heard  me  touch  that,  Eve,  with  the 
spray  of  eloquence.  Second,  there  is  *  Tem 
perance,'  our  ideal  in  the  future.  You  shall 
see  me  draw  it  to  my  bosom  and  embrace  it 
publicly  upon  every  stump  in  Boone  County. 
These  two — they  have  made  tearful  women  of 
men  and  brave  men  of  women  in  our  section. 
You  have  seen  veterans  weep  beneath  the  spell 
of  my  eloquence.  You  shall  see  women 
threaten  the  ballot  box  in  the  cause  of  tem 
perance,  inspired  by  my  passion  and — re 
pentance.  Also,  you  will  see  your  husband 
reflected  to  the  House  of  Representatives. " 

He  arose,  thrust  one  hand  in  his  bosom, 
felt  of  his  coattails  with  the  other,  bent  a 
glistening  black  eye  upon  me  and  bowed  with 
an  oratorical  flourish. 

"But,  Adam,  I  hope  you  are  seriour. i?> 
139 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"  Never  more  so  in  my  life.  This  lightness 
that  you  observe  disapprovingly  covers  a 
great  anxiety  and  great  hopes." 

There  is  a  good  deal  of  unavoidable  rascal 
ity  in  the  profession  of  politics  as  there  is  in 
any  other  profession — that  is,  if  you  want  to 
call  it  rascality.  To  my  mind  it  looks  more 
like  versatile  sincerity.  The  man  who  expects 
to  become  a  statesman  must  often  be  several 
other  things  first — an  actor  of  fortune,  ready 
to  take  any  role  the  times  or  the  people  thrust 
upon  him  on  his  way  up  in  the  profession. 
Once  up  he  can  afford  to  risk  developing  a 
character  and  maintaining  it  with  an  integrity 
that  excites  admiration.  But  if  you  go  all 
the  way  back  to  the  very  beginning  of  the 
political  life  of  many  a  self-made  statesman — 
by  self-made  I  mean  those  not  created  by  cor 
porations  or  by  their  Presidential  friends — 
you  are  apt  to  find  he  passed  gently  or  gal 
lantly — sometimes  even  piously,  but  always 
easily  and  naturally — through  nearly  as  many 
phases  as  a  human  fetus.  Adam  and  I  knew 
140 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

a  congressman  well  who  began  his  political 
career  as  a  speaker  at  a  Sunday-school  picnic. 
He  was  a  charlatan  at  piety,  but  he  has  made 
an  honest  man  in  Congress,  where  it  is  said 
to  be  more  difficult  to  be  honest  than  to  be 
great.  And  we  have  known  a  prominent  Cir 
cuit  Court  judge,  who  had  been  an  insignifi 
cant  lawyer  with  a  little  threadbare  mustache, 
but  who  was  ready  to  speak  at  any  time,  every 
where,  upon  public  vices.  At  present  he  is 
one  of  the  popular  political  heroes  of  his  state. 
No  one  recalls  the  little  back  office  attorney 
in  this  formidable  judge.  He  has  arrived  at 
a  noble  eminence  through  a  speaking  knowl 
edge  of  public  scandals  rather  than  through 
any  distinction  he  had  at  the  bar.  The  point 
is  this:  he  is  making  a  good  record  on  the 
bench. 

The  beauty  about  Adam  was  the  celerity 
with  which  he  arrived  at  and  passed  from 
these  different  phases.  If  the  emergencies  of 
a  situation  cast  upon  him  what  would  have  been 
the  part  of  a  rascal  in  another,  he  performed 
141 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

the  part  with  the  utmost  sincerity  and  remained 
in  it  not  a  moment  longer  than  was  necessary. 
He  could  return  to  the  elder,  everlasting  vir 
tues  immediately,  like  a  child  who  has  been 
visiting.  Thus  he  remained  innocent  after 
performances  that  would  have  cast  a  less 
versatile  man  in  the  permanent  role  of  a 
scamp.  This  campaign  against  Clancy  Drew 
as  the  temperance  candidate  is  an  illustration 
to  the  point.  He  really  belonged  to  that  ele 
ment  in  his  party  that  Alexander  Hamilton 
Stephens  inadvertently  described  one  day. 
Waving  a  small  flask  of  whisky,  from  which 
he  had  been  obliged  to  strengthen  himself 
during  a  speech  on  account  of  great  physical 
weakness,  he  exclaimed:  "This,  fellow  citi 
zens,  is  the  true  spirit  of  the  Democratic 
party!" 

Whatever  virtues  and  principles  Adam 
acquired — and  this  record  will  show  that  he 
had  a  good  many — they  had  nothing  to  do  with 
the  austerities  of  "  temperance. " 


142 


THE   FEUD 


CHAPTER  VII 

THE  FEUD 

WHEN  Adam  announced  himself  a  can 
didate  for  reelection  on  the  anti- 
liquor  ticket  he  precipitated  one  of 
the  most  astonishing  political  campaigns  ever 
conducted  in  Boone  County.  He  not  only  in 
volved  the  whole  population,  including  the 
women;  he  confused  the  moral  sense  wher 
ever  moral  sense  existed.  Clancy  Drew,  for 
example,  was  as  sober  as  a  judge,  a  dull  young 
man  with  a  good  reputation  and  a  lumbering 
ambition  "to  be  somebody/'  Adam,  on  the 
other  hand,  was  only  temporarily  sober;  but 
no  one  could  prove  it,  and  his  reputation  was 

TO — Eve's  Second  Husband.  14:0 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

enigmatical,  like  the  uncertain  character  of 
youth.  Meanwhile  he  knew  how  to  excite 
sympathy  and  admiration  by  the  accounts  of 
his  temptations  and  even  by  his  "falls," 
which  he  acknowledged  as  though  he  had  been 
in  an  experience  meeting  pleading  for  the 
"prayers  of  all  Christian  people "  instead  of 
their  votes.  In  vain  did  young  Drew 's  friends 
name  him  "Adam  the  Good."  He  instantly 
accepted  the  sarcasm  with  the  noble  air  of  a 
handsome  youthful  saint  assuming  his  crown 
of  thorns,  which  he  was  willing  to  wear  pub 
licly  by  way  of  personal  mortification. 

On  a  certain  Saturday  afternoon  in  the 
year  1890  he  might  have  been  seen  standing 
on  a  bale  of  paper  under  the  awning  in  front 
of  the  "Banner"  office,  surrounded  by  the 
usual  crowd  of  Saturday  politicians — that  is, 
farmers  from  the  country,  loafers,  and  his 
own  "leading-citizens"  element — making  an 
impromptu  announcement  of  his  candidacy 
and  change  of  heart.  He  was  sad,  honest  and 
irresistible. 

146 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"My  enemies, "  lie  exclaimed  at  the  end  of 
a  manly  peroration,  "have  called  me  'Adam 
the  Good'  in  derision.  Very  well;  I  deserve 
it.  But  henceforth " — he  had  the  snorting 
look  a  thoroughbred  has  when  he  is  about 
to  take  the  top  rail — "I  shall  try  to  deserve 
the  title."  He  was  down  on  the  other  side 
the  next  moment  in  the  level  road,  but  still 
making  good  rhetorical  speed.  "My  friends, 
it's  wrong  to  do  wrong.  And  being  elected 
to  the  legislature  will  not  make  wrong  right. 
What  I  want  to  feel  the  next  time  I  enter  the 
hall  of  your  representatives  in  this  state  is 
that  I  have  been  sent  there  by  the  best  men 
and  the  good  women  in  this  county — for  I 
feel  that  I  have  the  prayers  of  every  good 
woman  in  Boone  County.  And  it's  a  grand 
feeling,  gentlemen!"  He  paused  during  the 
applause  to  stretch  himself  by  some  miracle 
of  eloquence  until  he  seemed  actually  taller, 
as  though  the  "good  women"  had  thus  added 
a  cubit  already  to  his  stature.  "I  wouldn't 
exchange  this  feeling  that  I  have  about  their 
147 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

prayers  for  four  times  the  hope  my  opponent 
entertains  for  his  election ! ' '  He  waved  his 
hand  toward  the  courthouse  veranda,  upon 
which  were  seated  Clancy  Drew  and  as  many 
of  his  followers  as  could  resist  the  tempta 
tion  to  cross  the  square  and  listen  to  Adam's 
penitential  political  address. 

This  was  a  sample  of  his  campaigning,  and 
nothing  is  more  certain  than  that  he  was  in 
earnest.  Adam  was  a  man  who  could  believe 
any  statement  he  could  evolve  out  of  his  am 
bitious  imagination  easier  than  he  could  be 
lieve  the  literal  facts  of  his  life.  And  in  this 
consisted  the  convincing  power  of  his  elo 
quence.  As  the  weeks  passed  it  came  to  be 
almost  against  Clancy  Drew  that  he  was  a 
sober,  model  young  man.  There  was  less  ex 
cuse  for  his  running  on  the  liquor  ticket.  The 
women  in  particular  idolized  Adam  as  they 
are  apt  to  cherish  a  spectacular  brand 
snatched  from  the  burning.  I  have  never 
seen  a  woman  who  did  not  admire  a  reformed 
man  more  than  she  respected  just  a  good  man. 
148 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

As  for  me,  I  felt  as  though  my  millennium 
had  begun.  At  last  I  was  in  a  position  to 
serve  both  God  and  Adam  with  a  clear  con 
science.  I  mean  that  I  could  now  pray  for 
Adam's  will  to  be  done  without  feeling  em^ 
barrassed  on  my  knees,  as  though  the  very 
angels  were  frowning  and  shaking  their  heads 
at  me.  Adam  himself  appeared  to  have  been 
hypnotized  by  the  angels;  he  was  so  con 
sistently  right  in  every  direction,  although 
he  was  never  a  professing  Christian.  Appar 
ently  he  divined  that  the  role  of  an  honest 
heart-to-heart  sinner  was  less  cramping  in  its 
limitations,  and  in  this  his  instinct  was  cor 
rect. 

The  Saturday  afternoon  that  witnessed  his 
public  christening,  as  the  candidate  who  was 
to  be  supported  by  the  temperance  element 
of  his  party,  was  memorable  for  another  rea 
son.  It  also  witnessed  the  culmination  of  the 
feud  mentioned  in  the  first  chapter  of  this 
story  between  father  and  Doctor  Marks. 

Marks  was  the  leading  physician  in  his  sec- 
149 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tion.  He  was  old,  fat,  round-paunched,  and 
set  upon  a  pair  of  short  legs.  He  had  a  large 
head  and  permitted  his  iron-gray  whiskers  to 
grow  as  far  up  and  .down  and  around  as  they 
pleased.  They  took  advantage  of  this  to  leave 
only  his  immense  forehead  and  that  small, 
round,  rosy  eminence  called  the  cheekbone, 
beneath  each  eye,  visible.  His  eyes  were  ex 
ceedingly  prominent,  and  carried  in  them  the 
shade  of  silence  that  belongs  to  the  unbiased 
intelligence  of  a  strong  man.  He  had  the 
blood-letting  courage  of  a  surgeon  in  a  day 
when  few  doctors  out  of  the  great  cities  dared 
to  undertake  surgery,  and  an  old-fashioned 
allopathic  integrity  in  his  dealings  with  dis 
ease  that  was  drastic  and  effective.  He 
measured  calomel  upon  the  blade  of  a  blunt 
lancet  and  he  weighed  righteousness  by  the 
pound.  He  was  always  to  be  seen  in  an  old 
open  buggy  with  rattling  wheels,  drawn  by 
a  large  white  horse  that  had  acquired  the 
perpetual  motion  of  a  sheep-trot  in  his  service. 
Marks  practiced  medicine  with  only  three 
150 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

prescriptions  and  one  piece  of  advice:  Two 
tablespoonfuls  of  castor  oil  for  everybody; 
one  teaspoonful  of  paregoric  for  children  dur 
ing  green-apple  season  when  they  needed  it; 
and  for  chronic  invalids  a  fearful  punishment 
composed  of  six  ounces  of  charcoal,  fourteen 
drams  of  sulphur,  and  eight  scruples  of  Ep 
som  salts,  to  be  taken  three  times  a  day.  The 
piece  of  advice,  which  all  of  his  patients 
shared  in  common,  was: 

"Get  up,  stay  up,  drink  plenty  of  water, 
work  with  your  hands  every  day  until  you 
sweat  copiously,  and  keep  the  Ten  Command 
ments.  This  insures  proper  secretions  of  the 
body  and  a  clean  conscience,  without  which 
there  is  no  such  thing  as  good  health." 

When  he  was  called  to  see  a  sick  person  he 
always  entered  the  afflicted  one 's  chamber  like 
a  father  in  a  bad  humor.  He  sat  down  beside 
the  bed,  put  on  a  pair  of  spectacles  that  mag 
nified  the  pupils  of  his  already  protruding 
eyes  until  he  was  fearful  to  behold,  felt  the 
victim's  pulse,  called  for  his  tongue,  at  the 
151 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

sight  of  which  he  invariably  wrinkled  his* 
nose.  Then  he  leaned  back  in  his  chair, 
buckled  the  fingers  of  his  two  fat  hands  to 
gether  over  his  immense  paunch  and  de 
manded  to  know  which  and  how  many  of  the 
Ten  Commandments  the  patient  had  broken. 
After  one  such  experience  no  man  or  woman 
who  was  not  really  ill  ever  sent  for  him.  The 
ordeal  was  too  awful  to  be  risked  lightly  for 
a  mere  stomach-ache. 

This  recalls  to  my  mind  a  story  of  the  old 
doctor  which  is  one  of  the  traditions  of  Boone- 
ville.  Everyone  has  observed  that  preachers 
as  a  rule  do  not  enjoy  good  health.  The  un 
fortunate  creatures  are  tempted  everywhere 
they  go  with  the  most  inviting  food  the  host 
can  provide.  They  acquire  abnormal  appe 
tites  often  through  the  polite  desire  to  please 
hospitality.  This  results  in  inertia.  You  see 
a  good  many  ministers  who  are  physically 
lazy  and  often  spiritually  splenetic.  This  is 
an  exact  description  of  a  certain  young  pastor 
we  had  at  Booneville.  He  was  an  amiable, 
152 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Heaven-bound  man,  theologically  speaking, 
but  he  suffered  from  attacks  of  acute  indi 
gestion,  to  which  he  yielded  like  a  man 
stricken  in  battle.  At  any  hour  of  the  day  or 
night  Doctor  Marks  was  liable  to  get  a  hurry 
call  to  the  bedside  of  the  suffering  man.  At 
last,  one  Monday,  when  he  was  sent  for  about 
four  o'clock  in  the  morning,  his  patience  was 
exhausted.  He  entered  the  bedchamber  in  a 
rage,  minus  medicine  or  saddlebags,  and 
stared  down  at  the  form  of  his  pastor,  his 
very  beard  bristling  with  indignation. 

"Where  did  you  dine  yesterday?"  he  de 
manded  in  a  furious  tone. 

"At  Brother  Middlebrook 's, ' '  answered  the 
sufferer  feebly. 

"And  what  did  you  eat!" — still  more  furi 
ously. 

Brother  Clark — his  name  was  Amos  Clark 
— was  silent,  either  from  the  nausea  with 
which  one  recalls  viands  under  such  circum 
stances  or  because  he  was  trying  to  recollect 
what  he  did  eat.  But  Marks  was  impatient, 
153 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"There's  no  need  to  tell  me;  I  know/'  he 
exclaimed,  holding  up  the  fingers  of  first  one 
hand,  then  the  other,  and  numbering  them  off. 

"You  ate  ham  and  chicken,  and  a  little  bit 
of  spring  lamb,  some  beans  and  a  spoonful  of 
onions  and  squash.  You  had  pepper  with  the 
ham,  jelly  with  the  chicken,  and  green  apple 
sauce  with  the  lamb.  Then  you  ate  lemon  pie, 
pound-cake  and  boiled  custard — I  know  that 
diabolical  engine  of  destruction,  Mrs.  Middle- 
brook's  table;  and  now  you  send  for  me,  at 
four  o'clock  Monday  morning,  to  absolve  you 
from  the  sin  you  committed  on  the  holy  Sab 
bath.  Hell  and  damnation,  man !  Do  you  take 
me  for  the  chimney-sweep  of  your  stomach 
or  a  common  scamp  who  physics  you  to  keep 
you  from  suffering  the  consequences  of  your 
own  sins!  Well,  in  either  case,  you  are  mis 
taken.  You  have  colic,  and  colic  you  shall 
have  as  long  as  it  chooses  to  last.  It's  Na 
ture's  honester  way  of  ridding  you  of  the  stuff 
you  have  eaten.  I'll  not  give  you  a  drop  of 
medicine.  It  will  improve  your  conscience  to 
154 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

suffer.  And  it  ought  to  improve  your  min 
istry.  I  have  observed  your  sermons,  young 
man.  You  preach  against  adultery,  fornica 
tion,  drunkenness,  murder  and  every  other 
sin  except  your  own — gluttony,  which  is  the 
most  common  of  all.  Now  I  have  this  to  say: 
It  is  not  my  custom  to  charge  ministers  for 
my  services,  but  the  next  time  you  send  for 
me  to  relieve  you  of  indigestion  I  will  charge 
you  as  much  as  the  law  allows!  And  now  I 
bid  you  good  morning!" 

With  that- he  turned  and  waddled  out  of  the 
house,  leaving  Clark's  knees  under  his  chin. 

This  was  Doctor  Marks.  And  he  was  the 
one  man  in  Booneville  who  entertained  an  in 
vincible  contempt  for  father.  When  he  had 
occasion  to  enter  the  drug  store  for  medicine 
it  was  his  custom  to  ignore  the  proprietor 
and  to  order  what  he  wanted  directly  from 
the  prescription  clerk.  Father  reciprocated 
Marks'  feelings  for  him  with  open  hostility. 
It  was  characteristic  of  him  that  he  should 
not  be  on  good  terms  with  his  best  customer. 
155 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

The  circumstance  that  led  to  this  state  of 
affairs  was  as  follows :  One  day,  several  years 
previous  to  the  Saturday  scene  of  which  I 
shall  presently  write,  when  the  question  of 
local  option  was  being  agitated  for  the  first 
time,  Marks  entered  the  drug  store  to  pur 
chase  some  bismuth  and  prepared  chalk. 
Father,  who  was  an  enthusiastic  contradicter 
of  his  own  character  in  the  principles  he  ad 
vocated,  was  an  ardent  advocate  of  the  local 
option  law.  He  attempted  to  engage  Marks 
in  conversation  concerning  the  chances  of  the 
temperance  people. 

"I  tell  you,  doctor, "  he  exclaimed,  "it  will 
be  a  disgrace  to  the  manhood  of  this  county 
if  we  fail  to  vote  liquor  out  of  it!" 

Marks  went  on  shaking  the  bismuth  and 
chalk  into  a  bottle  that  had  a  little  creosote 
in  it  and  a  good  deal  of  water.  His  head  was 
down,  his  shabby  broad-brimmed  black  hat  on 
the  back  of  it,  and  his  eyes  were  fixed  upon 
what  he  was  doing.  Father  resented  his 
silence.  He  considered  it  suspicious. 
156 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"The  fact  is,"  lie  persisted,  "some  of  us 
want  to  know  how  you  stand  on  this  ques 
tion,  anyhow.  Your  silence  is  unbecoming  the 
guardian  of  health  in  this  community,  sir!" 

Marks  finished  mixing  his  concoction  in  the 
bottle,  corked  it  and  put  it  in  his  pocket.  Then 
he  slowly  lifted  his  immense  old  head,  squared 
his  hat  upon  it,  focused  his  spectacles  upon 
the  top  shelf  above  the  showcase  and  counter, 
where  was  displayed  a  long  row  of  tall  brown 
bottles  labeled :  Langston  's  Arsenic  and  Rhu 
barb  Bitters;  the  Best  Spring,  Summer  and 
Winter  Tonic  on  the  Market. 

"I  think,"  said  he,  with  cool  distinctness 
in  his  deep  voice,  "that  we  shall  carry  local 
option  in  Boone  County.  But,  so  long  as  you 
carry  so  much  Langston 's  bitters  in  this  drug 
store,  we  shall  not  get  rid  of  whisky  nor  the 
drunkenness  that  results." 

He  lifted  his  hand  and  swept  it  so  as  to 
indicate  the  whole  display  of  "bitters,"  and 
went  on  deliberately: 

"Ninety-nine  per  cent  of  that  stuff  is  pure 
157 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 


corn  whisky,  and  there  is  just  enough  arsenic 
in  it  to  make  it  dangerous. ' ' 

During  this  speech  father  was  standing  be 
hind  the  counter  looking  like  an  old  pouter 
pigeon  who  has  suddenly  had  his  tail-fathers 
jerked.  The  doctor  never  once  glanced  at 
him.  Having  finished,  he  turned  and  walked 
toward  the  door. 

For  a  moment  father  was  livid.  Then,  with 
a  fine  display  of  rage  that  could  not  wait  to 
walk  around,  he  leaped  over  the  counter. 

"What!"  he  screamed,  rushing  after  the 
retreating  form  of  the  doctor.  l '  What !  You 
insult  me! — you  reflect  upon  my  honor  and 
the  character  of  the  'Langston  bitters M" 

Marks  did  not  answer.  He  went  on  lei 
surely  toward  the  open  door.  Father  skipped 
along,  balancing  himself  every  now  and  then 
on  one  foot  and  lifting  the  other  with  a  little 
spasmodic  jerk  toward  the  broad  seat  of 
Marks 's  trousers.  But  he  did  not  touch  him 
and  Marks  did  not  look  back  or  quicken  his 
pace.  As  they  passed  through  the  door,  on 
158 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

to  the  doctor's  buggy,  which  was  drawn  up 
in  front,  father  was  a  spectacle  to  behold. 
His  nose  had  become  a  promontory,  his  mus 
tache  bristled,  his  upper  lip  snarled,  but  his 
chin  was  in  a  state  of  secession,  his  under 
lip  was  loose.  This  slackness  indicated  what 
he  lacked — resolution.  He  continued  to  hop 
with  one  foot  raised  behind  the  thick  form 
of  the  doctor. 

"Do  you  see  him?"  he  exclaimed  to  half 
a  dozen  persons  who  stood  about  the  door 
watching  the  singular  performance.  ' '  Do  you 
see  this  quack,  this — this  pill-person!  He 
has  insulted  me,  Colonel  John  Spotteswood 
Langston,  of  the  Third  Cavalry,  Second  Divi 
sion,  under  Bragg!  And,  my  God! — think  of 
it! — I  find  I  can't  kick  him — he's  too  much, 
too  soft!  I  have  the  feeling  that  my  foot 
would  mire  up,  that  I  should  not  get  it  back!" 

Here  he  paused  and  shook  his  fist  at  the 
man  in  the  buggy. 

"Very  well,  sir;  you  shall  hear  from  me 
again ! ' ' 

159 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Get  up!"  retorted  Marks,  slapping  the 
rump  of  his  horse  with  the  reins.  The  horse 
started  off  at  a  ridiculous  trot.  The  spokes 
in  the  wheels  set  up  a  rhythmic  clatter.  The 
buggy  sagged  fearfully  on  the  side  that  the 
doctor  occupied.  The  next  moment  it  dis 
appeared  around  the  nearest  street  corner. 
Never  once  did  the  occupant  of  it  look  back. 

That  afternoon  Uncle  Sam  Langston  bore 
a  challenge  to  Dr.  David  Marks  from  father. 
Uncle  Sam  had  the  appearance  of  having  been 
hatched  out  of  a  Shanghai  egg  instead  of 
being  born  of  a  woman.  He  was  tall  like 
father  and  had  a  rooster  cast  of  countenance. 
But  his  temper  was  less  choleric  than  father's. 
He  was  really  timid,  like  the  rooster  who  has 
been  whipped  in  the  fight.  He  was  very  much 
under  the  thumb  of  his  elder  brother  or  he 
would  never  have  carried  such  a  message. 
The  doctor  was  an  old  bachelor,  living  with 
his  widowed  sister.  He  received  my  uncle  in 
a  brusque,  tooth-pulling  mood. 

"Take  a  seat,  Sam,"  he  said,  frowning. 
160 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

He  was  rolling  some  little  black  pills  in  a 
platter  stained  with  many  other  pills.  He 
paused  long  enough  to  read  father's  invita 
tion  to  "mortal  combat. "  Then  he  went  on 
with  his  medical  masonry  in  the  platter.  As 
he  kneaded  the  stuff  this  way  and  that  he 
addressed  Uncle  Sam: 

"I  see  that  I  have  the  choice  of  weapons 
and  of  the  time  and  place. " 

"That's  accordin'  to  the  code,"  admitted 
Uncle  Sam  tremblingly.  He  had  hoped  the 
doctor  would  decline  to  fight. 

The  platter  was  now  filled  with  well- 
rounded  pellets.  Marks  arose  and  searched 
among  a  row  of  bottles  and  odds  and  ends 
upon  a  little  shelf  in  the  corner  until 
he  found  a  small,  round  box.  He  dropped 
two  of  the  pills  into  it  and  handed  it  to 
father's  second. 

"There's  my  choice  of  weapons,"  he  ex 
plained,  seeing  the  look  of  astonishment  on 
uncle's  face;  "the  only  kind  of  bullets  a  sen 
sible  man  ever  uses.  Tell  him  to  take  'em 

II— Eve's  Second  Husband.  161 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

both  before  retiring.  That's  the  time.  Tell 
him  he  can  choose  the  place  himself.  They'll 
act  anywhere.  Good  evening!  I've  got  a  call 
to  make. ' ' 

He  put  on  his  hat  and  went  out,  followed 
by  Uncle  Sam,  who  carried  the  little  box  be 
tween  his  thumb  and  forefinger.  The  doctor 
was  not  a  humorist ;  he  was  a  sort  of  atheist  of 
human  nature,  and  man  was  the  Old  Testa 
ment  that  he  read  and  despised. 

The  next  day  he  appeared  as  usual  in  the 
drug  store,  and  every  day  after  through  the 
years,  ordering  his  prescriptions  and  buying 
his  medicines  as  though  nothing  had  hap 
pened.  He  never  observed  father's  existence. 
Father  was  equally  oblivious  of  his  unless  he 
had  been  taking  some  of  the  Langston  bitters. 
Then  he  was  belligerent,  and  invariably  swore 
that  if  Marks  came  into  the  store  he  would  kill 
him.  This  was  the  feud  that  I  have  mentioned. 
It  was  carried  on  entirely  by  father. 

On  the  afternoon  when  Adam  made  his 
maiden  temperance  speech  in  front  of  the 
162 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"  Banner  "  office  Doctor  Marks  drove  up  in  his 
old  buggy  and  sat  in  it  on  the  outskirts  of 
the  crowd,  observing  and  listening  with  the 
twinkle  of  a  smile  showing  above  his  whiskers 
and  crinkling  the  corners  of  his  eyes.  He 
had  never  been  friendly  or  unfriendly  to 
Colonel  West.  Adam  was  to  him  what  a  bug 
is  to  a  scientist.  He  simply  sat  and  watched 
him  as  he  would  have  a  zoon  from  time  to 
time.  Upon  this  occasion,  just  as  Adam  was 
reaching  the  last  wing-stretch  of  his  perora 
tion — which,  of  course,  was  devoted  to  the 
' l  heroes  in  gray ' ' — father,  who  was  represent 
ing  more  bitters  than  he  could  carry,  caught 
sight  of  the  top  of  the  doctor's  smile.  It  of 
fended  him.  He  considered  it  a  reflection 
upon  Adam,  therefore  upon  the  distinguished 
Langston  family.  He  charged  the  buggy 
blindly  with  his  clenched  fists.  The  doctor 
saw  him  coming,  drew  to  the  other  side.  Then, 
as  father  landed,  half  standing,  half  reclining, 
upon  the  fore  wheel,  he  spat  over  his  head, 
neatly,  intentionally  and  with  frightful  de- 
163 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

liberation.    A  hundred  people  had  seen  it,  this 
variation  of  the  most  offensive  of  all  insults 
that  one  man  can  offer  another.     There  was 
a  moment's  silence.    Every  man  who  had  wit 
nessed  what  had  taken  place  was  stunned. 
This  spitting  over  a  man's  face  was  new  and 
incredible.    Nothing  like  it  had  ever  happened 
before  in  Booneville.    It  sobered  father.    In 
an  instant  he  became  one  of  those  old  steel- 
pronged  gentlemen  of  the  South,  of  whom  so 
much  is  written  and  so  little  is  seen.    It  is  a 
metamorphosis  that  does  not  happen  more 
than  once  or  twice  in  the  lifetime  of  any  one 
of  them  unless  the  times  are  outlined  by  the 
battle-line  of  war ;  and  when  it  happens  it  does 
not  last  over  five  minutes.    In  less  time  than 
it  takes  to  say  it  father  darted  back  to  the  drug 
store,  reappearing  almost  at  once  with  an  old 
horse-pistol  in  his  hand.    Doctor  Marks  was 
seen  by  the  petrified  witnesses  to  bend  over, 
reach  under  the  seat  of  his  buggy  and  draw 
forth  another  old  horse-pistol,  which  might 
have   been  the   childhood  mate   of   the   one 
164 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

father  held  in  his  hand.  For  years  these  two 
old  men  had  carried  these  ludicrously  anti 
quated  "firearms"  for  each  other,  in  antici 
pation  of  the  moment  that  had  now  arrived. 

There  was  a  commotion,  a  swift  flurry  in 
the  silent  crowd,  and  Adam  shot  through  it, 
placed  himself  in  exact  line  between  father, 
standing  in  the  doorway  of  his  drug  store, 
and  Doctor  Marks,  seated  in  his  high,  old- 
fashioned  buggy.  He  flirted  his  coat  open, 
bared  his  shirt-bosom  first  to  Marks,  then 
to  father. 

"Shoot,  gentlemen,  shoot!"  he  exclaimed, 
bowing  with  an  insufferably  dancing-master 
grace,  first  to  one,  then  to  the  other.  "Damn 
it,  I  can't  run  a  decent  temperance  campaign 
in  this  county  so  long  as  the  two  most  influ 
ential  supporters  of  the  cause  show  such 
flagrant  intemperance ! ' ' 

I  have  neglected  to  say  that  both  father  and 
the  doctor  were  so  near-sighted  that  each  dis 
appeared  from  the  other's  vision  at  the  dis 
tance  of  five  yards;  but  both  of  them  could 
165 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

see  Adam  revolving  like  an  insolent  shuttle 
cock  between  them.  And  undoubtedly  it  af 
forded  them  immense  relief.  Father's  great 
moment  had  passed.  He  stood  loose-lipped, 
staring  terrified  at  Adam.  The  doctor  gath 
ered  up  his  reins.  As  he  moved  off  he  raised 
his  hat  to  Adam. 

" Don't  imagine,  young  man,  that  you  have 
saved  anybody's  life.  Nobody's  was  in 
danger.  But  you  have  gained  a  vote. 
G'lang!"  This  last  word  to  the  horse.  There 
was  a  roar  of  laughter  from  the  crowd,  which 
was  the  real  circumstance  that  ended  this 
feud.  You  cannot  conduct  so  serious  a 
tragedy  as  a  feud  after  the  light  of  comedy 
has  fallen  upon  it. 


166 


ADAM  THE  HERO  AND 
THE  DEMAGOGUE 


CHAPTER  VIII 

ADAM   THE   HERO   AND   THE   DEMAGOGUE 

THIS  affair  settled  a  point  in  mind  about 
which  I  had  never  been  in  doubt,  but 
about  which  every  woman  likes  to  be 
absolutely  sure.    Adam  was  a  man  who  could 
be  brave.    Not  only  that,  his  courage  was  not 
stilted.     It  had   the  grace,  the  modesty  of 
humor. 

The  rumor  of  what  had  occurred  reached 
me  before  he  did  that  day.  When  he  returned 
in  the  late  afternoon  he  did  not  mention  it. 
I  really  believe  he  had  forgotten  it.  The 
danger  and  glory  of  Adam 's  character  was  the 
lightness  with  which  he  could  do  well  or  ill. 
169 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  drew  him  into  the  garden,  I  remember, 
that  evening,  where  all  of  our  prettiest  scenes 
were  enacted,  and  there  I  kissed  him  and  was 
inclined  to  weep  over  him,  which  did  not  please 
him. 

"It  was  nothing.  Neither  one  of  them  could 
have  hit  a  barn  door  unless  he  had  aimed  at 
the  pump  instead, "  he  laughed. 

Then  some  deeper  thought  occurred  to  him 
as  I  continued  to  purr  over  him.  He  frowned 
and  looked  at  me  queerly. 

"I  say,  Eve,  you  don't  by  any  chance  think 
I  am  a  coward? " 

"Oh!  no,  Adam.  But  you  see,  dear " 

I  hesitated. 

I 1  But  what  ? ' '  he  urged  seriously. 
"Well,  you  know  you  have  faults." 

He  nodded  as  though  I  had  said,  "You 
know  you  have  legs,  Adam." 

"And  so  I  like  to  have  glaring  proof  of 
those  virtues  that  are  absolutely  essential  to 
manhood." 

"Name  them,"  he  demanded  gravely.  It 
170 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

was  as  though  for  a  moment  I  held  an  eagle  in 
my  hands. 

"Well,  a  man  must  not  be  a  coward  or  a 
liar  or  a  thief  in  his  relations  to  men,  and  he 
must  have  the  wings  of  an  honorable  am 
bition.7' 

"That  all?"  He  was  beginning  to  smile  a 
little. 

' '  No,  not  all ;  but  I  could  not  bear — I  should 
feel  a  sort  of  degradation  in  living  with  a 
husband  who  did  not  have  these  cardinal 
virtues. ' ' 

"Still,  if  he  didn't  have  them  you'd  go  on 
living  with  him,  wouldn't  you?" 

"Oh,  yes,"  I  sighed.  "But  it  would  be 
like  going  on  being  damned ! ' ' 

"I  am  glad  you  put  in  that  he,  your  hus 
band,  is  to  be  all  these  things  in  his  relation 
to  men.  You  see,  darling,  I  have  been  a 
coward  to  you.  I  am  really  afraid  of  what 
you  think.  It  makes  me  anxious  sometimes 
to  run  against  those  grave,  simple,  white 
things  you  think.  And  I've  been  the  thief  of 
171 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

your  love;  and  I  do  not — well,  you  know  I'm 
not  always  quite  frank  with  you." 
"Yes,  I  know." 

"How  do  you  excuse  it?" 
"I  don't." 
"What/then!" 

"I  am  that  part  of  you,  Adam,  that  bears 
it.  It  would  be  different  if  I  were  another 
man  separate  from  you." 

He  stared  at  me  like  one  who  had  found  a 
mystery  and  seen  it  sweetly  solved. 

"Eve,  you  are  so  wise,  I  am  afraid  to  look 
you  in  the  face,  and  you  are  so  strong  that  1 
feel  you  in  my  right  arm." 

He  kissed  me  reverently  and  we  both  had 
tears  in  our  eyes.  Then  he  began  to  laugh 
as  usual;  and  he  spent  the  rest  of  the  even 
ing  gossiping  gayly  about  the  events  of  the 
day. 

Adam,  like  most  men,  was  a  great  gossip. 

He  knew  every  joke  and  every  bit  of  scandal 

current   from  Booneville   to  Nashville.     He 

was  an  encyclopedia  of  everybody's  secrets 

172 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

and  private  affairs.  Women  have  the  repu 
tation  of  being  gossips  for  the  same  reason 
that  Eve  got  the  chief  blame  in  that  apple 
transaction  in  Eden.  Men  will  never  bear 
the  blame  of  anything  that  they  can  lay  upon 
women.  Thus,  I  have  never  heard  a  married 
woman  repeat  really  serious  scandal,  tell  a 
risque  story  or  divulge  a  confidence  that  her 
husband  had  not  first  repeated  or  divulged 
to  her.  She  becomes  in  time  simply  the  quo 
tation  marks  of  his  different  knowledges.  I 
do  not  know  why,  but  it  seems  that  we  prefer 
to  tell  what  a  man  tells  us  to  that  which  some 
other  woman  has  confided,  unless  she  had  it 
from  a  man  herself.  Apparently  we  feel  that 
in  this  case  we  have  a  superior  authority  for 
what  we  are  saying. 

One  thing  Adam  told  me  this  evening  of 
which  I  had  never  had  an  intimation  before. 
This  was  that  Doctor  Marks  had  once  been 
mother's  accepted  lover,  and  that  she  had 
thrown  him  over  for  the  dashing  cavalry  offi 
cer,  Colonel  John  Spotteswood  Langston.  So 
173 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

it  appeared  that,  the  Langston  bitters  was  not 
the  only  thing  at  the  bottom  of  this  fend. 

I  was  not  going  out  at  this  time,  so  the  most 
I  knew  of  what  transpired  came  from  Adam's 
cheerful  hearsay.  It  seemed  that  he  wished 
the  campaign  could  have  been  longer.  He 
needed  more  time  to  impress  himself  upon  the 
people  in  the  new  and  beautiful  role  of  tem 
perance  champion.  There  was  something 
quizzical  in  the  faces  of  every  audience  he  met. 

' l  They  do  not  yet  know  that  I  am  really  in 
earnest!"  he  explained  to  me. 

But  he  had  all  of  the  women  and  most  of 
the  church  people  for  him.  And  this  was 
nearly  the  majority.  You  will  observe  this  in 
places  where  there  is  much  drinking :  respect 
able  women — one  makes  a  distinction  between 
these  and  merely  fashionable  women — are 
always  more  or  less  frantic  in  their  advocacy 
of  stringent  prohibition  laws.  But  they  think 
of  it,  pray  for  it  too  late — after  their  sons  are 
grown  and  beyond  control.  The  women  of 
Booneville  turned  their  boy-children  into  the 
174 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

streets  every  morning  after  breakfast.  In  the 
afternoon  they  held  special  prayer  services  for 
the  purpose  of  prevailing  upon  the  Lord  to 
vote  enough  for  Adam  to  elect  him.  And 
there  was  not  a  single  one  of  them  who  did 
not  believe  afterward  that  his  election  was  in 
answer  to  these  prayers,  notwithstanding  the 
scandalous  circumstances  connected  with  the 
closing  day  of  the  campaign. 

It  is  of  this  circumstance  I  have  now  to 
write. 

There  was  a  certain  neighborhood,  very 
near  Booneville  and  composed  largely  of 
negroes,  which  was  doubtful.  Each  candi 
date  claimed  the  majority  of  these  votes  and 
it  was  certain  that  they  would  decide  the  elec 
tion  one  way  or  the  other.  The  night  before 
the  election  some  friends  of  Clancy  Drew's 
pitched  what  they  called  a  "camp"  two  miles 
from  town  and  invited  every  colored  voter  in 
the  doubtful  district,  which  lay  immediately 
behind  the  camp,  to  come  and  have  a  good 
time  before  going  to  the  polls  next  morning. 
175 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

The  only  refreshment  served  was  liquor. 

Adam  was  in  despair  when  early  in  the 
afternoon  he  heard  of  this  device.  But  there 
was  an  extraordinary  quality  about  his  de 
spair.  It  was  always  the  yeast  from  which 
his  inspirations  arose.  About  four  o'clock  he 
rushed  into  the  house  in  a  state  of  fierce  ex 
citement. 

"Eve,  oldest,  youngest,  dearest  woman  in 
the  world,  can  the  women — the  old  girls  that 
have  been  praying  so  hard  for  me — can  they 
furnish  me  with  a  fancy  breakfast  for  a  hun 
dred  niggers  by  daybreak  in  the  morning  ?" 

"I  don't  know,  Adam.  It's  a  strange  re 
quest.  I  never  heard  of  anything  like  it.  But 
they  are  all  gathered  now  over  there  at  Mrs. 
Sears 's  to  pray  for  your  election  to-morrow. 
You  might  go  across  the  street  and  ask  them, ' ' 
I  replied  astonished. 

"I'll  do  it!"  he  almost  shouted  as  he  leaped 

through  the  door  and  dashed  down  the  walk 

into  the  street.     I  saw  him  begin  to  mince 

and  preen  and  sweeten  himself  just  before  he 

176 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

reached  the  Sears  gate.  He  had  the  chastened 
look  of  a  redeemed  sinner  about  to  go  into 
the  presence  of  angels. 

Mother  told  me  afterward  what  happened. 
She  says  that  they  were  all  down  upon  their 
knees,  more  than  a  dozen  of  them.  Old  Mrs. 
Allen,  the  most  devout  woman  in  Booneville, 
was  leading  the  prayer.  So,  of  course,  none 
of  them  saw  Adam  enter.  However,  just  as 
Mrs.  Allen's  quavering  voice  ascended  in  the 
closing  sentences  of  her  petition,  there  was  a 
screech  from  Mrs.  Sears,  who  happened  to 
open  her  eyes  and  saw  Adam  standing  in  the 
doorway  with  his  head  bowed.  Somehow  he 
seemed  so  much  a  part  of  the  prayers  they 
were  offering  that  his  sudden  apparition 
startled  her.  In  a  moment  a  dozen  old  bon 
neted  heads  were  turned  in  his  direction,  a 
dozen  frightened  faces  stared  at  him;  then 
all  stumbled  up  from  their  knees  to  meet  the 
emergency. 

Mrs.  Sears,  who  always  had  a  little  round 
tear  ready  to  start  in  her  eye  and  a  high, 

I  a— Eve's  Second  Husband.  177 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

hysterical  voice,  advanced  to  meet  him  and  ex 
claimed  : 

' '  Come  right  in,  Colonel  West.  You  see  we 
were  praying  for  you ! ' ' 

She  ended  with  a  sob  and  led  Adam  in. 
Mother  says  she  never  saw  him  looking  better 
or  more  the  man. 

"Ladies,"  he  said  in  a  voice  ringing  with 
reverence  and  gratitude,  "your  prayers  have 
strengthened  me.  They  have  held  up  my 
hands,  given  me  courage  against  great  odds. 
I  could  not  have  made  this  race  without  them. ' ' 

He  paused,  swept  every  face  with  his  bril 
liant  black  eyes,  inflated  himself  and  went  on 
quickly : 

"But  now  it  remains  for  you  to  finish  what 
you  have  begun.  I  am  absolutely  in  your 
hands.  If  you  can  furnish  me  enough  cakes, 
biscuit  and  fried  chicken  to  fred  a  hundred 
negroes  to-morrow  morning  at  daybreak  I 
think  I  can  promise  to  win  this  election  for 
you  and  for  your  children!" 

Mother  says  old  Mrs.  Allen  was  so  excited 
178 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

she  began  to  shout,  and  they  had  to  quiet  her 
the  first  thing.  Then  they  all  promised  that 
he  should  have  what  he  asked  for. 

That  night  there  was  light  in  more  than  a 
dozen  of  the  best  kitchens  in  Booneville  till 
the  dawn.  Never  before  had  the  midnight 
air  of  the  old  town  been  streaked  with  such 
savory  odors.  The  greatest  secrecy  was  ob 
served,  of  course,  since  some  of  the  devoted 
cooks'  husbands  were  Clancy  Drew's  most 
ardent  supporters.  It  is  told  of  old  Colonel 
Middlebrook  that  he  got  up  and  walked  in  his 
sleep,  he  smelled  fried  chicken  so  strong. 
Mrs.  Middlebrook  met  him  in  the  back  entry 
snuffing  the  air  like  a  setter  pup.  She  led 
him  gently  back  to  bed  and  told  him  to  stay 
there,  that  it  was  a  disgrace  for  a  man  of  his 
age  to  walk  in  his  sleep  just  because  he 
dreamed  he  smelt  something  to  eat.  The 
colonel,  completely  crestfallen,  pulled  the 
covers  up  and  did  not  dare  even  to  wonder 
what  Mrs.  Middlebrook  was  doing  fully 
dressed  at  that  hour  in  the  back  entry. 
179 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

At  three  o'clock  in  the  morning  a  wagon 
loaded  with  seventy-eight  fried  chickens,  six 
hundred  biscuit  and  forty-two  enormous 
pound-cakes  rolled  out  of  the  town  along  the 
road  toward  the  "camp"  of  the  enemy. 

Adam  had  chosen  two  giant  poplars  a  mile 
nearer  town  and  a  mile  nearer  the  polls  for 
his  rendezvous.  He  had  said  nothing  to  the 
good  women  of  Booneville  about  it,  but  he  was 
amply  prepared  to  fight  the  devil  with  fire. 
Two  great  demijohns  adorned  each  end  of 
the  long  rough  table.  There  was  a  keg  of  beer 
in  the  middle.  Between  lay  the  heaps  of 
golden-brown  chicken  legs,  piled-up  biscuits 
and  cakes,  and  on  a  bed  of  coals  a  dozen  huge 
coffee  pots  steamed. 

At  daybreak  all  was  in  readiness.  By  this 
time  the  men  in  the  rival 's  camp  had  slept  off 
their  debauch  of  the  night  before  and  were 
ravenously  hungry.  When  they  received  the 
message  that  "the  friends  of  Colonel  West 
were  invited  to  a  free  breakfast,"  the  simple 
creatures  were  not  slow  to  respond  to  the  in- 
180 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

vitation.  They  deserted  in  a  body — break 
fasted  a  mile  farther  up  the  road  and  a  mile 
nearer  the  polls. 

At  ten  o  'clock  that  morning  Booneville  wit 
nessed  a  strange  sight.  Colonel  Adam  West 
appeared  riding  down  the  principal  street 
upon  a  mud-bespattered  horse,  whanging  that- 
strange  thing  that  he  thought  was  a  tune.  Be 
hind  him  for  a  quarter  of  a  mile  there  was  a 
strand  of  shouting  negroes,  all  bound  by  the 
solemn  ties  of  roasted  beef  and  beer  to  vote 
for  "the  finest  gemman  that  ever  busted  loose 
in  Boone  County ! ' '  And  they  did  it.  He  was 
elected,  having  brought  his  own  majority  to 
the  polls. 

I  remember  this  day  very  well  for  another 
reason.  It  was  in  the  evening  of  it  that  I 
fathomed  the  mystery  of  Adam's  bedside  pe 
titions — the  difference  between  him  and  them. 
Every  night  he  was  as  particular  as  a  woman 
to  kneel  for  a  moment  by  the  bed  before  get 
ting  into  it.  And  if  he  forgot  to  kneel  I  have 
known  him  to  slip  out  and  satisfy  his  curious 
181 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

conscience,  or  whatever  it  was  that  made  him 
perform  this  childish  reverence. 

I  could  not  be  blind  to  the  lack  of  remorse 
he  enjoyed  after  the  most  astounding  lapses 
from  the  moral  order  which  obtained  in  my 
own  catechism  life,  and  for  years  I  had  been 
curious  to  discover  the  nature  of  his  orisons. 
On  the  night  following  the  day  when  he  out 
witted  Clancy  Drew  in  the  election,  at  the 
moment  of  retiring,  suddenly  the  world-look 
left  his  face,  a  certain  childlike  sweetness 
adorned  it,  an  expression  so  young  and  in 
nocent  that  it  must  have  stirred  and  mystified 
the  angels  in  waiting  as  he  knelt  beside  the 
bed. 

"Adam,"  I  said  when  he  had  risen,  "what 
do  you  say  when  you  pray?" 

"Nothing,"  he  answered,  as  though  he  had 
just  discovered  the  fact. 

"Then,  why  do  you  kneel?" 

"I  don't  know,"  he  answered  gravely,  like 
an  infant  whose  mysteries  are  being  searched 
for. 

182 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

1 ' It's  wrong,  Adam.  You  ought  to  say 
something.  You  ought  to  confess  your  sins." 

' '  Confess  my  sins !  Good  Lord,  Eve !  Does 
a  green-leafed  tree  confess  its  bugs?  I'm 
growing,  woman.  I  'm  growing  so  fast,  maybe 
I'll  outgrow  my  sins.  Anyhow,  confessing 
them  don't  amount  to  anything.  God  knows 
them  anyhow." 

I  sighed.  It  was  a  pedestal-angel  sigh. 
Adam  looked  at  me  in  alarm. 

"I  say,  Eve,  you  are  not  bearing  with  me 
and  being  so  patient  trying  to  save  my  soul, 
are  you!  You  are  not  praying  for  me  in 
secret  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  are  you!" 

"No!  no!  Adam."  I  laughed  in  spite  of 
myself.  "I  just  bear  with  you  and  pray  for 
you!  Your  soul  is  the  Europe,  Asia  and 
Africa  of  your  being,  that  you  have  never  dis 
covered  ;  so  you  cannot  be  in  danger  of  losing 
it." 

Adam  stretched  himself  out  and  drew  the 
sheet  over  him  with  a  sigh  as  serene  and  peace 
ful  as  any  saint  could  have  drawn. 
183 


ADAM  AND  EVE  BEGIN 
THEIR  FAMILY 


CHAPTER  IX 

ADAM   AND   EVE  BEGIN   THEIR  FAMILY 

IF  I  followed  Adam's  public  career,  what 
I  should  write  would  be  more  interest 
ing.    It  would,  in  fact,  be  a  sensational 
romance  of  the  present  times  in  Tennessee, 
where  the  scenes  are  always  laid  for  tragedy 
or  comedy  by  some  unfortunate  class  of  the 
people  or  by  the  state  legislature.     Besides, 
Adam,  like  most  public  men  of  his  type,  be 
longs  to  romance  more  than  he  does  to  ever 
lasting  reality.     He  is   a  person  who   gar 
nishes  life  with  imagination.     He  is  not  so 
much  a  man  as  he  is  a  popular  exaggeration 
of  manhood,  one  of  those  figures  of  speech 
187 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

created  and  maintained  by  the  ballot.  The 
Government  is  full  of  them,  and  they  have 
furnished  more  material  for  the  historical 
novelist  than  for  the  historian.  The  men  who 
are  making  history  now  in  this  country  are 
the  capitalists  and  engineers.  The  politicians, 
preachers,  editors  and  social  reformers  are 
only  those  who  are  following  them  or  fighting 
them. 

As  for  Adam,  the  details  of  his  success 
would  always  elude  a  mere  woman.  You 
must  have  observed  how  quickly  a  man  blows 
out  his  candle,  so  to  speak,  when  his  wife 
approaches  certain  places  in  his  life  or  his 
career.  This  was  Adam's  way.  He  talked 
to  me  often  of  his  hopes,  but  rarely  of  his 
plans.  If  I  asked  him  exactly  what  course 
he  would  pursue  in  such  and  such  a  cam 
paign — for  he  was  a  man  who  advanced  in 
the  order  of  things  from  one  campaign  to  an 
other;  just  as,  say,  a  Christian  would  from 
one  moral  victory  to  another  —  he  would 
laugh,  kiss  me,  and  advise  me  not  to  bother 
188 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

my  dear  head  about  such  dull  affairs;  or  he 
would  invite  me  to  come  and  hear  him  speak 
somewhere.  He  declared  the  sight  of  my  face 
in  the  audience  always  inspired  him,  and  I 
have  no  doubt  it  did.  I  beheld  him  raised  to 
the  sixteenth  power  of  oratory,  and  that  in 
variably  affected  me  deeply  and  happily.  But, 
really,  Adam's  speeches  no  more  represented 
what  he  was  and  did  than  a  curtain  informs 
of  what  is  on  the  stage  behind  it.  The  last 
time  I  was  ever  behind  the  scenes  in  his 
political  life  was  during  the  temperance  cam 
paign  recorded  in  the  preceding  chapter. 

Also,  you  must  remember  that  this  is  not 
Adam's  annals  as  a  politician.  It  is  a  woman's 
testament  of  married  life.  And  married  life 
for  woman,  like  all  Gaul  in  ancient  times,  is 
" divided  into  three  parts."  The  first  is  the 
pedestal  period,  before  she  has  any  children 
and  when  she  is  engaged  with  naive  sim 
plicity  in  trying  to  be  what  her  husband 
wants  her  to  be,  which,  of  course,  is  being 
what  is  easiest  for  him  to  live  with,  being 
189 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

himself  unmodified  as  much  as  possible.  Al 
most  any  young  wife  would  rather  be  praised 
by  her  husband  than  to  be  right.  Her  little 
tinkling  beatitudes  all  go  to  the  fulfilling  of 
his  "ideal."  As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  doubt  if 
there  is  yet  a  man  in  creation  who  knows  what 
an  ideal  wife  ought  to  be.  Often  she  has  to 
be  a  drastic,  difficult  person,  reaping  where 
she  has  not  sowed  and  carrying  things  with 
a  high  hand  generally. 

The  second  period  begins  when  she  becomes 
the  mother  of  his  children,  feels  a  new  set 
of  responsibilities,  gets  nervous  over  them 
and  shows  her  real  nature  and  temper  by 
kicking  her  young  angel-wife  pedestal  out  of 
the  way;  and  by  getting  down  to  those  duties 
of  life  for  which  she  was  more  particularly 
created — that  is,  the  nursing  and  bringing  up 
of  her  children,  even  if  she  neglects  both  her 
hair  and  her  husband  to  accomplish  this. 

The  third  and  last  period  comes  after  it  is 
all  over;  after  the  husband  and  wife  have 
ceased  to  idealize  each  other  and  have  ac- 
190 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

cepted  eacli  other  literally,  without  entertain 
ing  any  more  foolish  hopes  for  the  better.  It 
it  a  time  of  peace  and  of  easy,  lengthy,  un 
strained  silences  between  them.  Love  is  a 
habit  and  no  longer  needs  to  be  cultivated 
with  quarrels  and  tears  and  reconciliations. 
They  get  acquainted,  this  middle-aged  hus 
band  and  wife,  and  are  far  more  dependent 
upon  each  other  than  they  were  in  their  youth. 
With  me,  the  pedestal  period  lasted  longer 
than  it  does  with  most  women.  Adam  had 
served  four  terms  in  the  legislature  and  was 
looking  toward  Congress  when  our  first  baby 
was  born.  We  were  still  living  in  Booneville. 
I  may  as  well  say  here  that  during  the  fif 
teen  years  he  was  in  Congress,  and  until  he 
was  made  governor  of  the  state,  we  continued 
to  reside  in  Booneville.  Our  three  children 
were  born  there  and  Adam  became  the  great 
man  of  that  section.  After  his  election  to 
Congress  he  ceased  to  edit  the  ' i  Banner, ' '  but 
he  has  always  owned  it  and  " controlled"  its, 
political  policy. 

191 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"I  am  saving  the  'Banner/  "  he  used  to 
say.  "It  is  my  insurance  against  the  sour 
idleness  of  a  public  man's  old  age.  "When  the 
political  ideals  of  the  next  generation  grow 
up  and  get  strong  enough  to  defeat  me  I  shall 
retire  to  Booneville  and  edit  the  'Banner'  as 
I  used  to  do  when  I  was  a  young  man  with 
a  hee  in  my  bonnet.  I'll  get  over  the  spleen 
of  this  long  political  indigestion  writing  good 
little  editorials  about  the  everlasting  things 
like  honor  and  courage,  the  innocency  of  chil 
dren,  the  faithfulness  of  women  and  the  'Lost 
Cause.'  When  a  man  is  old  he  likes  to  feel 
the  ancient  foundations  of  such  thoughts 
more  than  he  does  the  red-hot  splinter  of 
political  fame  under  his  fingernail."  Adam 
was  getting  far  along  toward  middle  life  be 
fore  he  had  enough  sense  to  say  that,  but  I 
am  setting  it  down  here  because  this  seems 
to  be  a  good  place  to  bring  it  in. 

I  never  left  home  to  be  with  him  during 
the  sessions  of  the  legislature  in  Nashville, 
nor  later  in  Washington,  when  he  was  a  con- 
192 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

gressman.  So  far  as  I  knew  at  the  time,  I 
was  detained  naturally  by  my  household 
cares.  A  woman  can  no  more  leave  her 
chickens  and  cow  and  flowers  and  furniture 
than  a  man  can  leave  his  business.  After  the 
children  came,  it  was  even  more  imperative 
to  remain  at  home  with  them.  Adam  was 
reconciled  to  this  arrangement  from  the  first, 
although  he  never  failed  to  assure  me  that 
it  was  the  greatest  privation  of  his  life.  He 
said  living  without  me  was  not  living.  It  was 
mere  fragmentary  existence.  Still,  he  agreed 
with  me,  sighing,  that  it  really  was  impera 
tive  that  I  should  remain  in  Booneville^and 
keep  an  eye  on  things.  I  used  to  wish  some 
times  that  he  would  override  my  convictions 
and  insist  that  I  should  accompany  him,  but 
he  never  did. 

I  worried  over  him  constantly  when  he  was 
away  during  those  first  years.  The  time  never 
comes  when  a  wife  does  not  think  her  hus 
band  needs  her.  He  may  have  lived  comfort 
ably,  happily  and  in  good  health  thirty  years 

I3—EuSs  Second  Husband.          193 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

before  he  met  her,  but  the  moment  he  and  she 
are  married  and  she  discovers  "what  a  child 
lie  is,"  and  how  incapable  of  taking  care  of 
himself,  she  bothers  if  he  is  away  from  her, 
for  fear  he  will  eat  something  that  disagrees 
with  him  or  take  off  his  thick  clothes  too  soon. 
He  may  be  laboring  in  matrimony  like  a 
swimmer  in  a  heavy  sea  with  her  hanging  to 
his  neck.  He  may  be  positively  desperate 
for  a  rest  from  domesticity  and  the  petticoat- 
ness  of  life,  but  she  will  never  really  believe 
he  ought  to  go  even  on  a  vacation  without 
her,  although  she  may  consent  to  see  him  go. 
He  may  be  as  sober  and  chaste  as  she  is,  but 
still,  when  he  is  away  from  her,  she  has  ap 
palling  anxieties  such  as  a  man  would  never 
feel  about  his  wife.  Nothing  can  convince  a 
woman  that  her  husband  does  not  need  her 
every  day  and  almost  every  hour.  It  is  a 
form  of  static  hysteria  with  which  nearly  all 
good  women  are  afflicted. 

I  reckon  this  had  something  to  do  with  the 
anxieties  I  experienced  about  Adam  when  he 
194 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

was  in  Nashville  or  Washington.  Still,  if  you 
read  far  enough  in  this  story,  you  will  see 
that  my  anxieties  were  justified.  I  do  not 
say  they  always  are  for  every  wife,  but  if  I 
had  it  to  do  over  again  Adam  should  never 
attend  so  much  as  the  briefest  committee 
meeting  in  Washington,  nor  even  as  near 
home  as  the  state  capital,  unless  I  attended 
him  all  the  time  he  was  there.  A  man  may 
be  as  trustworthy  as  George  Washington  in 
his  relations  to  national  affairs,  always  able 
and  honorable  in  the  discharge  of  his  duties 
as  a  citizen  and  an  official  of  the  Government, 
and  still  be  as  untrustworthy  as  Alcibiades 
as  a  husband.  It  seems  to  be  harder  for  him 
to  evolute  as  a  husband  than  as  a  citizen.  I 
think  it  is  because  his  ethics  are  easier  to 
develop  than  his  morals.  The  two  may  be 
as  far  apart  in  him  as  the  east  is  from  the 
west.  As  a  man,  you  express  your  high 
ethical  convictions  by  voting  right  about  laws 
and  issues  that  control  other  people,  by  con 
ducting  glorious  social  reforms  in  society  at 
195 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

large,  by  repeating  some  Christian  church 
creed  every  Sunday.  Nothing  is  easier,  once 
you  get  your  self-consciousness  lodged  out  of 
your  own  particular  personal  character  and 
become  the  noble  churn-dasher  of  the  multi 
tude.  But  to  be  moral  yourself  is  like  being 
greater  than  he  that  taketh  a  city.  Adam 
could  take  a  city  with  his  eyes  shut,  but  his 
morals  had  puppy  legs.  This  is  very  com 
mon  in  the  best  citizens,  but  nobody  notices 
it  unless  they  are  foolish  enough  to  show 
their  puppy  legs  in  public.  Once,  when  we 
were  in  New  York,  we  went  to  hear  a  lecture 
on  ethics  by  a  man  who  was  an  authority  on 
that  subject.  And  it  was  a  grand  lecture. 
You  could  have  conducted  a  millenium  ac 
cording  to  that  man's  recipe.  I  was  enthusi 
astic.  I  seemed  to  see  the  angels  running  up 
and  down  Jacob's  ladder  into  the  Heaven  of 
heavens  as  I  listened.  I  could  not  help  wip 
ing  the  tears  from  my  eyes.  I  rfesolved  to 
be  a  better  woman.  I  was  disappointed  at 
Adam's  indifference — I  may  say,  his  insolent 
196 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

inattention.  Afterwards  he  told  me  the  lec 
turer  had  been  divorced  from  his  wife,  had 
married  his  affinity,  whom  he  was  said  to 
beat  occasionally,  and  had  turned  his  first 
wife's  children  out-of-doors;  and  that  by  his 
second  wife  he  did  not  have  any.  From  being 
enthusiastic  I  became  indignant. 

' '  Adam, ' '  I  exclaimed,  "  it  is  a  shame !  That 
man  should  be  arrested,  prosecuted  and  made 
to  serve  a  life  sentence  in  the  penitentiary  for 
so  blaspheming  righteousness !  People  will  be 
educated  to  believe  that  morality  is  simply  a 
system  of  imagination  and  thinking,  not  to 
be  lived  at  all!" 

He  took  my  face  in  his  hands,  looked  at  me 
and  giggled.  Then  he  kissed  me  solemnly  as 
if  I  had  been  the  Bible;  then  he  snickered 
again  and  delivered  himself  of  the  following: 

"Eve,  darling,  you'd  ruin  everything; 
you'd  retard  civilization  and  liberty,  and 
break  up  our  churches  and  the  government, 
if  you  could  enforce  your  ideas  of  personal 
virtue.  Why,  woman,  there  is  no  telling  how 
197 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

many  of  the  ablest  and  best  senators,  con 
gressmen  and  cabinet  ministers  you'd  have 
in  stripes.  You  are  wrong,  my  dear ;  fanatical. 
Don't  you  remember  how  it  is  written,  some 
where  in  the  Bible,  that  God  ' winked  at'  cer 
tain  things!  Well,  He's  winking  yet.  And 
He  will  have  to  go  on  winking,  for  I  cannot 
imagine  how  long,  unless  He  strips  man  of 
his  mortality  down  to  the  very  pinfeathers 
of  his  soul.  A  lot  of  really  excellent  men  and 
not  a  few  women — only,  not  you,  beloved! — 
are  basing  their  hopes  of  salvation  upon  that 
shrewd  fragment  of  the  Scriptures.  Your 
preacher  means  the  same  thing,  offers  the 
same  consolation,  when  he  quotes:  'for  He 
remembereth  that  we  are  dust.' 

I  could  not  help  being  horrified  often  at  the 
way  Adam  chose  his  spiritual  accommoda 
tions  from  the  Bible.  And  I  never  thought 
he  was  right  in  taking  such  advantages  of 
the  great,  innocent  Scriptures;  but  I  do  be 
lieve  the  Heavenly  Father  will  have  difficulty 
in  hardening  His  heart  enough  to  damn  Adam 
198 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

forever.  He  will  be  the  kind  of  condemned 
sinner  that  will  stand  before  the  very  throne 
of  grace  ten  thousand  years  to  argue  the  ex 
tenuating  circumstances  of  his  mortality,  in 
stead  of  going  out  and  being  cast  into  the 
lake  of  fire  and  brimstone;  just  as  a  child 
clings  to  his  father's  hand  when  he  is  told 
to  go  to  bed  in  the  dark.  I  am  a  Protestant 
for  myself,  but  for  Adam  I  can't  help  believ 
ing  in  a  mitigating  kind  of  purgatory,  where 
the  probationer  will  be  allowed  to  enjoy  the 
company  of  his  guardian  angel  every  Satur 
day  afternoon.  In  my  opinion,  nobody  knows 
how  good  and  wise  and  merciful  God  is.  But 
He  undoubtedly  is,  for  it  is  going  to  require 
much  goodness  and  wisdom  and  mercy  to 
know  just  what  to  do  with  sinners  like  Adam 
and  saints  like  the  eternal  Pharisees. 

But  my  purpose  was  to  devote  this  chapter 
to  the  beginnings  of  our  family  The  first  baby 
was  a  girl.  We  compromised  by  naming  her 
Evangeline,  because,  to  me,  Eve  has  always 
seemed  such  a  short,  naked  kind  of  name,  and 
199 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Adam  was  determined  that  she  should  be 
called  after  her  mother.  She  was  born  in 
August.  She  should  have  been  born  in  Sep 
tember.  On  this  account  Adam  was  away  in 
Nashville  attending  a  short  session  of  the 
Senate,  but  a  wire  brought  him  home  like  a 
house  afire  to  meet  his  eldest  child. 

I  shall  never  forget  how  he  looked  nor  how 
I  felt  that  day.  The  room  was  darkened. 
The  whole  world  seemed  silent,  as  if  it  were 
walking  by  upon  its  tiptoes  outside.  There 
was  not  a  sound  save  a  soft  whimper  now 
and  then  from  the  little  white  bundle  lying 
under  the  covers  on  the  other  side  of  the  bed. 
Mother  had  gone  out  to  see  about  the  rolls 
she  had  set  to  rise  on  the  back  part  of  the 
kitchen  range.  I  was  not  thinking.  I  was 
arriving  again  in  the  order  of  things.  Years 
before  I  had  been  regenerated,  converted, 
during  a  revival.  I  had  been  "born  again. M 
Now  I  experienced  a  similar  but  greater 
change  in  myself.  From  being  merely  a  wife 
I  had  become  a  mother.  The  advance  was 
200 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

immense,  incredible.  I  could  not  think  it.  I 
could  only  feel  it.  Presently  I  heard  the 
opening  and  closing  of  a  door  in  the  silent 
house;  then  voices  in  the  hall,  mother's  and 
Adam's.  I  comprehended  from  the  low  and 
nervous  tone  of  the  latter  that  he  was  excited. 
But  I  was  not  in  the  least  so.  I  seemed  re 
moved  from  all  that  had  been,  as  though  I 
had  accomplished  a  new  and  infinitely  nearer 
relation.  Innocently  and  inexorably  I  was 
beginning  already  to  repay  Adam  for  all  the 
deflections  of  his  affections  in  the  past  and 
in  the  future. 

The  next  moment  he  parted  the  shadows 
of  the  room  as  he  entered  noiselessly  and  ad 
vanced  to  the  side  of  the  bed.  For  a  moment 
he  stood  confused,  as  if  he  were  frightened 
at  what  he  saw.  There  was  something  so 
endearing  in  his  face,  so  remote,  that  sud 
denly  I  felt  a  great  compassion  for  him.  He 
was  so  far  from  understanding  what  had  hap 
pened.  He  only  saw  what  he  saw.  As  for  me 
—lying  flat,  with  him  standing  so  tall  above 
201 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

me — I  seemed  still  to  look  down  upon  him 
from  an  immeasurable  height.  There  is  no 
conceit  like  the  first  consciousness  of  mother 
hood  ;  no  peace  so  religious. 

"Eve,  Eve!"  whispered  Adam  in  a  shocked 
voice  as  he  fell  upon  his  knees  and  lifted  my 
hand  to  his  lips.  "Forgive  me,  forgive  me! 

This God!    I  did  not  know  what  it  was 

to  be.  I  promise  you,  my  life,  it  shall  never, 
never  happen  again! " 

I  believed  him,  of  course.  Still,  there  was 
nothing  to  forgive.  I  had  the  baby.  It  was 
as  if  I  'd  paid  a  small  sum  and  had  cheated  the 
universe  out  of  a  young  planet.  I  mean  the 
sense  of  gain  was  as  great  as  that. 

"You  may  look  at  her,"  I  commented. 

"Yes!  to  be  sure,"  he  exclaimed,  rising  to 
his  feet  with  a  look  of  dread  upon  his  fea 
tures.  "Where  is  it?"  he  asked,  moistening 
his  lips  with  his  tongue. 

"Her,"  I  insisted  feebly. 

"Of  course,"  he  assented.  "Mother  told 
me  it  is  a  girl. ' ' 

202 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"She,"  I  persisted,  wagging  my  head  upon 
the  pillow  to  indicate  the  precious  bundle  on 
the  opposite  side  of  the  bed. 

He  had  been  casting  his  eyes  about  the 
room  as  if  he  expected  to  behold  the  baby  on 
the  mantelpiece  or  leaning  out  of  a  vase  like 
a  flower.  Now  his  whole  being  seemed  to 
undergo  a  change.  He  rose  on  his  tiptoes, 
bent  his  back  and  began  to  sneak  around  the 
foot  of  the  bed.  Every  angle  of  his  body  ex 
pressed  dread,  repulsion  and  fear.  If  any 
man  should  be  allowed  to  follow  his  own  feel 
ings  in  this  delicate  matter  he  would  never 
look  at  his  own  child  until  it  has  faded  into 
a  Caucasian  shade,  and  has  sense  enough  to 
return  his  gaze.  I  do  believe  men  have  a 
natural  distaste  for  very  young  infants.  They 
seem  to  embarrass  male  parenthood.  I  am 
sure  it  was  only  to  please  me  that  Adam  now 
consented  to  look  at  his  first-born. 

"I  can't  see  it,"  he  murmured,  peering 
down  at  the  covers. 

"Adam!"  I  exclaimed,  with  as  much  indig- 
203 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

nation  as  I  had  the  strength  to  muster.  ' '  Our 
child  has  a  proper  human  gender.  She  is  not 
a  neuter  t  it. '  She  is  a  girl ! ' ' 

I  never  saw  a  man  in  my  life  that  would 
concede  sex  to  a  baby  at  the  very  first. 

"That's  all  right,  darling/ '  soothed  Adam. 
1  i  I  know  it 's  a  girl,  and  I  am  proud  that  it  is. 
I  would  not  have  had  it  take  after  me  for 
worlds  I" 

"She — her,"  I  quavered,  with  a  sob. 

By  this  time,  with  trembling  hands,  he  had 
laid  back  the  coverlet  and  squatted  transfixed 
at  the  sight  of  the  little  pink  face,  with  it's 
puffed  pink  eyelids  tightly  closed. 

"My  God!"  I  heard  him  murmur.  Then, 
"Are  they  always  as  small  as  this  at  first — 
and  as  red!" 

"She  is  unusually  large  for  a  girl,"  I  re 
torted,  "and  mother  thinks  she  will  be  dark; 
she  is  not  pink  enough  to  be  fair." 

At  this  moment  she  that  was  to  be  chris 
tened  Evangeline  moved  all  of  her  features 
in  contrary  directions  and  waggled  one  tiny 
204 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

claw  in  the  air.    Adam  dodged  as  though  he 
had  been  struck. 

"I  say,  Eve,  it  is  not  like  anybody  or  any 
thing,  is  it!" 

"She  is  exactly  like  you,"  I  retorted. 
"Everybody  says  so."  By  "everybody"  I 
meant  mother  and  the  doctor. 

"I  can't  see  it." 

"Look  at  her  nose." 

Adam  squinted  as  if  he  had  the  greatest 
difficulty  in  discovering  this  member. 

"And  the  way  the  brows  arch." 

The  silence  that  ensued  lasted  fully  a  min 
ute;  so  long  that  I  turned  my  head  to  see 
what  caused  it.  Now  it  so  happened  that 
Adam  was  "marked"  with  a  tiny  hole  in  the 
top  of  his  right  ear.  I  beheld  him  gazing 
with  amazement  and  rapture  at  the  little  flat 
ear  of  the  baby.  His  head  bent  nearer  and 
nearer,  his  eyes  were  glistening,  his  lips  trying 
on  four  or  five  different  kinds  of  smiles. 

"Who  would  have  thought  it?"  He  was 
talking  to  himself. 

205 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"0  Eve!  do  you  know  I  am  so  kin  to  this 
little  thing  that  it's  got  its  ear  marked  like 
mine!" 

His  voice  trembled  with  joyful  emotion. 

"Of  course,"  I  replied  forbearingly. 

"But  think,  Eve,  how  cute  it  was  to  mark 
it  mine  for  ever  and  ever!" 

He  was  running  his  hands  under  the  baby 
bundle,  trying  to  take  it  up. 

"Don't  wake  her,  Adam!" 

"But,  Eve,  I  want  to  look  at  it.  You  don't 
know  how  queer  it  feels  to  feel  this  way.  I 
tell  you  I  am  the  father  of  it ! "  He  began  to 
laugh. 

"You  will  be  to-morrow  also,  Adam,  Let 
her  get  her  nap  out." 


206 


EVE  ENTERS  THE 
MATERNAL  TRANCE 


CHAPTER  X 

EVE  ENTERS  THE  MATERNAL  TRANCE 

FROM  that  day  to  this  he  has  been  the 
slave  of  Evangeline.    Fortunately  the 
other  two  children  have  the  same  lit 
tle  hole  in  the  ear,  but  he  appears  never  to 
have  recovered  from  the  delicious  surprise  of 
finding  it  in  the  first  one's  ear.     On  this  ac 
count  I  think  she  is  dearer  to  him.     And  I 
am  certain  the  little  blemish  was  the  "open 
sesame"  of  his  paternal  faculty. 

Notwithstanding  Adam's  assurance  to  me 
that  "it  never,  never  should  happen  again, " 
our  second  child  was  born  before  Evangeline 
was  two  years  old.  This  was  a  boy,  and  we 

14— Eve's  Second  Husband.          209 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

named  him  Langston,  although  I  wanted  to 
call  him  Adam,  after  his  father,  whom  he  re 
sembled  even  more  than  the  girl  did. 

Langston  was  still  "in  dresses "  when  the 
third  baby  came,  also  a  boy.  It  seemed  that 
once  I  had  started  becoming  a  mother  I  could 
not  stop.  And  when  Adam  was  summoned 
home  from  Washington  to  meet  this  second 
son  he  had  the  humiliated  manner  of  a  man 
who  feels  that  he  has  become  a  sort  of  in 
voluntary  criminal  in  his  relations  to  his 
wife.  He  had  never  kept  any  of  his  temper 
ance  vows,  and  he  was  equally  unstable  about 
abstaining  from  progressive  fatherhood.  He 
seemed  to  think  I  would  notice  the  fault  and 
treasure  it  up  against  him. 

This  time  he  came  in  at  night.  The  other 
two  children  were  in  a  little  bed  in  the  op 
posite  corner  of  the  room  and  so  near  the 
same  size  they  looked  like  black-headed  twins. 
Mother  was  stooping  over  a  stew-kettle  in 
which  she  was  brewing  catnip  tea  on  the 
hearth.  She  held  her  hand  before  her  face 
210 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

to  keep  the  fire  from  burning  it.  I  was  dream 
ing  something  very  dim  upon  the  bed,  with 
one  hand  resting  upon  the  little  warm  body 
of  my  second  son.  It  was  snowing  outside. 
Neither  of  us  heard  the1  front  door  open. 
Presently  Adam  appeared  in  the  red  glow  of 
the  firelight.  He  was  so  gravely  beautiful, 
standing  there  between  the  children's  crib  and 
my  bed,  that  I  thought  I  was  seeing  him  in  a 
dream.  Mother  arose,  greeted  him  and  went 
back  into  the  kitchen — "to  warm  some 
things, "  she  said. 

"Eve,  dear!"  He  had  ceased  to  call  me 
"Eve.  darling !"  as  in  the  old  days.  He  drew 
near  the  bed,  bent  low  above  me  and  kissed 
me.  I  was  not  doing  very  well  and  could  not 
make  out  whether  he  was  really  there  or 
merely  in  my  dream;  but  it  made  no  differ 
ence.  I  saw  him  go  over  to  the  children's 
crib  and  look  at  them;  then  he  sat  down  be 
fore  the  fire  and  put  his  face  in  his  hands. 
That  action,  so  little  characteristic  of  him, 
aroused  me.  I  lay  regarding  him  with  an  im- 
211 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

measurable  peace  of  mind  that  comprehended 
nothing  of  what  was  going  on  in  his. 

Women  who  marry  think  they  suffer,  but  it 
is  a  question  in  my  mind  whether  they  suffer 
nearly  so  much  as  their  husbands  do  some 
times.  A  husband  who  becomes  involved  in  a 
selection  of  secret  sins ;  who  has  got  a  left-foot 
relation  to  some  one  whose  feet  take  hold  on 
hell ;  who  is  bound  in  the  dark ;  who  can  neither 
get  rid  of  his  transgression  nor  confess  it; 
above  all,  who  desires  to  hold  on  to  it — such 
a  man  suffers  frightfully  in  the  soft,  sweet 
presence  of  his  sleeping  children  and  of  a 
wife  that  is  one  of  those  simple,  virtuous  wo 
men  who  thinketh  no  evil  of  him.  He  has  to 
be  his  own  bar  of  justice  there,  and  the  judge 
who  condemns  himself,  but  who  has  not  the 
courage  to  inflict  the  right  penalty.  In  such 
a  predicament  a  man  becomes  thankful  for  a 
fractious,  scolding,  suspicious  wife.  He  tells 
himself : 

"Well,  there  is  some  excuse  for  a  fellow 
who  has  to  stand  this  at  home." 
212 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

But  where  the  "this"  lies  at  the  door  of 
death  for  him,  silent,  without  even  the  thought 
of  a  reproach  against  him — well,  it  is  just  hell, 
that's  all,  and  a  good  deal  worse  than  any 
physical  pang  she  has  suffered. 

So  I  regarded  Adam.  Far  within  some  sun 
lit  space  of  my  spirit  I  waited  to  smile  at  him. 
I  was  thinking : 

"Having  three  babies  in  five  years  is  sober 
ing  even  Adam. ' ' 

Eeally  he  was  acquiring  a  national  air.  He 
had  something  more  than  a  merely  fashionable 
appearance.  He  had  a  fine  presence,  and  he 
is  one  of  the  few  men  I  have  seen  who  could 
have  afforded  to  pose  for  the  figure  on  his 
own  monument  without  doing  violence  to  a 
single  canon  of  art.  Finally  it  occurred  to  me 
that  he  had  not  even  looked  at  the  new  baby. 
This  seemed  ungrateful.  I  puffed  up  a  feeble 
anger  against  him. 

"Adam!" 

"Yes,  dear."  He  arose  and  came  quickly 
to  me. 

213 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"You  have  slighted  the  baby.  You  have 
not  looked  at  him.  You  needn't  think  he  has 
not  got  the  little  hole  in  his  ear.  He  has ! ' ' 

"0  Eve!"  he  murmured  in  a  tragic  voice, 
"is  it  all  right!" 

"Is  what  all  right?" 

' t  These  babies — so  many  of  them.  How  can 
you  forgive  me?" 

"Why,  Adam,  there  are  only  three  yet. 
And  they  are  mine.  What  is  there  to  for 
give?" 

While  he  was  still  gazing  at  me,  holding  my 
hand,  I  remembered  no  more.  When  I  awak 
ened  the  pallid  light  of  the  snowclad  day  was 
streaming  over  my  bed.  Adam  still  held  my 
hand.  He  had  not  moved  for  hours. 

"I  feel  better.  You,  dear  heart — you  have 
given  me  of  your  strength  all  night."  I 
smiled  into  his  serious  eyes. 

"I  did  that  for  you,  anyhow,"  he  whispered 
gratefully. 

"And,"  I  added,  since  he  seemed  to  need 
comforting,  "you  are  the  father  of  my  babies. 
214 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

That  is  particular,  and  they  are  my  tokens  of 
you. ' ' 

He  bowed  his  head  and  groaned. 

"Eve,  if  you  were  not  so  good,  just  good, 
I  could  bear  it  better. " 

"If  I  were  less  good  you  would  not  bear 
it  at  all,"  I  laughed,  having  mercifully  no 
suspicion  of  what  he  was  really  talking  about. 
"But  you  have  not  looked  at  him  yet." 

I  felt  that  the  new  baby  was  to  be  a  sur 
prise  to  him.  He  was  like  me,  altogether  like 
me,  having  no  trace  of  his  father  in  him  ex 
cept  his  sex  and  the  little  blemish  in  his  ear. 
As  time  passed  this  resemblance  became  re 
markable.  He  was  fair,  and  he  had  the  same 
vacuous  expression,  as  soon  as  he  arrived 
at  the  human  dignity  of  expression,  that  I  had 
in  my  own  childhood.  His  good  nature  was 
matched  only  by  his  sense  of  humor,  which 
was  the  most  wonderful  I  have  ever  seen  in  a 
child.  He  always  knew  when  to  laugh.  While 
he  was  still  in  "long  clothes,"  if  a  fly  alighted 
on  his  nose,  lifted  its  hind  legs  in  the  air  and 
215 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

rubbed  them  together,  he  would  cross  his  eyes 
to  look  at  it  and  know  that  he  had  seen  some 
thing  funny;  then  he  would  go  off  into  con 
vulsions  of  crowing  laughter,  which  invari 
ably  gave  him  hiccoughs. 

He  manifested,  as  soon  as  he  could  walk, 
so  profound  an  interest  in  doodleholes  and 
bumblebee  abrasions  in  the  wall  that  a  new 
fangled  mother  might  have  concluded  that  she 
had  a  scientist  on  her  hands.  But  I  did  not 
know  enough  about  infant  psychology  to  keep 
me  from  fearing  he  might  become  a  well- 
digger.  He  put  his  whole  mind,  such  as  it 
was,  upon  every  hole  he  could  find.  And  he 
learned  to  talk  very  early,  apparently  in  order 
that  he  might  enjoy  the  privilege  of  silence. 
Sometimes  he  would  go  for  a  month  without 
committing  the  indignity  of  uttering  a  word. 
Then,  when  he  did  speak,  he  was  apt  to  draw 
blood.  Adam  the  elder — we  had  named  this 
baby  Adam — feared  his  candor  as  he  did  not 
fear  the  worst  things  his  political  enemies 
said  of  him.  And  the  child  adored  his  father. 
216 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

One  night  he  stood  with  one  foot  planted 
upon  each  of  his  father's  thighs.  This 
brought  his  nose  on  a  level  with  Adam's  nose. 
He  stood  thus  for  a  moment,  gazing  so  in 
tently  with  his  large,  frank  blue  eyes  that 
Adam  thought  he  was  being  extravagantly  ad 
mired  by  his  offspring. 

"Mother,"  said  little  Adam,  with  the  slow 
distinctness  of  the  very  young,  "father 
smells. ' ' 

He  was  delighted.  The  combined  odor  of 
whisky,  cloves  and  tobacco  appealed  to  his 
young  olfactory  nerves. 

"Here,  Eve;  take  your  tick  of  a  baby  off 

of  me!"  hissed  Adam  the  elder,  furiously  red. 

But  from  that  day  forth  his  little  son  made 

an  innocent  daily  practice  of  sniffing  him  over, 

which  embarrassed  and  constrained  him. 

"Why  don't  you  stop  him!"  he  exclaimed 
to  me  one  evening. 

"Because  you  are  less  odorous  when  you 
know  you  must  undergo  this  infantile  sniffing 
when  you  get  home, ' '  I  replied. 
217 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"But,  Eve,  he  wants  me  to  smell!" 

"And  later  he'll  know  what  you  smell  of. 
Then  he  won't  like  you  or  your  smells." 

He  groaned.  The  only  way  to  bring  up  a 
man  after  he  is  too  old  to  do  right  is  to  tattoo 
him  gently  and  persistently  with  the  far  con 
sequences  of  his  deeds  done  in  the  body.  This 
does  not  reform  him,  but  it  restrains  him.  It 
makes  him  hold  back  some  in  his  descent. 

I  was  beginning  to  change  now  very  rapidly. 
I  saw  less  of  Adam  than  ever.  He  was  in 
Washington  most  of  the  time.  I  had  entered 
the  maternal  trance,  so  to  speak.  I  was  living 
in  the  children  and  for  them.  Love  is  a  gar 
ment,  and  like  any  other  it  must  be  replaced. 
And  every  time  the  fashion  and  texture 
change.  When  I  was  Adam's  pedestal-angel 
wife,  the  quality  of  it  was  different — fairer, 
and  less  durable.  It  had  graces  and  charms 
that  were  never  to  be  mine  again.  Now,  as 
the  mother  of  his  children,  you  might  have 
concluded  that  it  was  a  mere  rag.  It  is  owing 
to  the  way  you  compute  a  woman  as  a  mother. 
218 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

She  is  worn,  she  has  no  fashion,  she  has  passed 
out  of  the  sentimental  stage  that  creates 
fashions  in  appearance.  Her  appeal  is  not 
to  gallantry,  but  to  reverence.  She  is  no 
longer  attractive.  She  is  only  sacred,  poor 
thing!  Her  paleness,  her  little  wrinkles,  so 
dreadfully  fine,  are  the  Great  Poet's  epitaph 
upon  her  beauty,  which  has  given  place  to  a 
countenance  that  is  more  than  beautiful,  if 
you  understand.  She  is  like  a  bough  that  has 
shed  its  blossoms.  There  is  nothing  so  piti 
ful  in  this  world,  when  you  consider  how 
women  desire  to  be  beautiful  forever.  It  is 
so  depressing — to  be  no  longer  lovely ;  to  have 
your  husband  praise  your  bread  instead  of 
your  eyes,  your  virtues  instead  of  your 
charms. 

There  were  days  when  it  seemed  to  me  I 
could  not  bear  what  had  happened  to  me, 
especially  since  Adam  continued  to  look  so 
youthful  and  retained  to  such  a  remarkable 
degree  the  vivacity  of  his  youth.  He  paid  me 
compliments  still  and  did  not  know  that  he  had 
219 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ceased  to  "make  love"  to  me.  The  awful 
enemy  of  all  women  is  time.  Nobody  but  a 
fool  makes  love  to  an  old  one.  Yet  I  could  not 
forbear  now  and  then,  in  the  evening,  after  the 
children  were  put  to  bed,  to  go  out  in  the 
garden  where  Adam  sat  with  his  cigar  and  sit 
down  beside  him,  and  wait.  He  never  sus 
pected,  of  course,  for  he  was  the  most  ac 
commodatingly  kind-hearted  liar  in  existence. 
But  his  mind  was  upon  some  affair  of  state, 
an  issue  of  his  next  campaign.  When  the 
silence  became  intolerable  I .  would  lay  my 
hand  upon  his  and  demand  anxiously: 

"Adam,  do  you  love  me  as  much  as  you 
ever  did?" 

Instantly  he  was  at  my  side  in  spirit,  hurry 
ing  with  all  the  beautiful  words  he  knew  to 
cover  up  the  truth. 

"Love  you  as  much,  Eve,  dear!  Why,  the 
way  I  used  to  love  you  is  just  nothing  to  the 
way  I  care  for  you  now.  You  are  the  mother 
of  my  children,  the  best  woman  in  the  world ! ' ' 

"But,  Adam,  I  am  tired  of  being  cared  for 
220 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

only  because  I  am  the  mother  of  the  children, 
and  I  am  tired  of  being  your  'best  woman  in 
the  world. '  You  never  can  know  how  tedious 
it  is  being  'the  best  woman.'  I  want  to  be 
just  loved  the  way  you  loved  me  at  first,  be 
fore  the  babies  came ! ' ' 

"Why,  Eve,  woman,  I  couldn't  live  without 
you;  I  care  so  much  for  you." 

"I  know,  Adam ;  it  is  like  being  a  homestead 
that  shelters  you  and  yours,  and  that  you 
need.  What  I  want  is  to  be  loved  because  I 
am  myself. " 

"But  I  do,  dear  goose!  How  could  I  love 
you  if  you  were  not  yourself  ? ' ' 

He  would  laugh  and  put  his  arm  affec 
tionately  around  my  waist,  but  I  missed  cer 
tain  adjectives  as  I  would  have  missed  jewels 
out  of  my  casket.  When  a  man  ceases  to 
call  his  wife  "adorable"  and  "darling"  she 
does  not  need  to  consult  her  mirror.  She  may 
know  that  she  has  "lost  her  complexion."  It 
is  dreadful,  but  it  must  be  borne.  He  cannot 
help  it.  Even  a  divorce  will  not  grant  her 
221 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

liberty  from  wrinkles  and  from  that  inviolate 
chastity  of  motherhood  which  is  almost  as 
absolute  as  that  of  a  child,  and  which  men  only 
revere. 

I  can  never  forget  the  shock  it  was  when  I 
realized  that  Adam  kissed  me  now  from  habit, 
just  as  he  bobbed  for  his  foolish  dumb  prayers. 
And  never  once  did  I  consider  that,  if  he  had 
changed  towards  me,  I  had  changed  infinitely 
more  toward  him.  I  thought  I  was  famished 
for  what  I  could  no  longer  give  myself.  As 
a  matter  of  fact,  it  would  have  been  a  sacrilege 
against  the  blessed  dignity  of  Nature  if  we 
had  not  both  changed  the  fashion  of  our  love. 
The  queer  thing  about  women  is  that  they  are 
made  so  much  younger  in  their  heads  than  in 
their  bodies  that  nothing  will  induce  them  to 
accept  the  inevitableness  of  just  Nature.  A 
wife  of  fifty  will  cry  for  the  lover  her  husband 
was  to  her  at  twenty.  And  it  is  no  laughing 
matter.  Life  becomes  to  her  the  mask  that 
tragedy  wears.  With  a  man  it  is  different. 
He  can  forget  love  completely  in  a  financial 
222 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

transaction  or  some  other  business.  Business 
is  his  element,  just  as  love  is  the  only  orbit 
in  which  a  woman  really  moves  forever  grace 
ful. 

And  again  the  first  baby  is  the  entering 
wedge  between  husband  and  wife.  The  child 
draws  them  together  in  purpose,  in  plans  and 
hopes,  but  it  separates  them  as  lovers  in  sev 
eral  ways.  A  man,  for  example,  is  the  parent 
of  his  child  now  and  then  in  his  leisure  hours, 
by  way  of  recreation.  Adam 's  babies  were  his 
zoo,  in  which  he  found  occasional  happy  di 
versions.  But  a  woman  who  has  a  child  is  the 
mother  of  it  consciously,  often  almost  agoniz 
ingly,  every  moment  of  its  life,  from  the  hour 
of  birth  as  long  as  she  lives.  Maternity  is 
her  accent.  She  loves  her  husband  differ 
ently,  and  is  now  more  capable  of  jealousy 
than  of  romantic  passion  for  him.  At  bottom 
she  is  more  of  an  animal  than  he  is.  The  dif 
ference  is  that  she  is  a  mother-animal  and  he 
is  a  procreating  one,  which  is  not  so  engag 
ing  an  occupation.  It  is  the  nature  of  a 
223 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

mother-animal  to  love  her  young  even  to  the 
exclusion  of  every  other  interest.  And  the 
human  mother  carries  this  to  an  extreme 
known  in  no  other  species,  for  she  never  really 
weans  her  child  except  from  the  breast.  She 
has  no  time  even  to  freshen  up  as  other  ani 
mals  do,  and  so  prepare  for  another  romance. 
She  is  maternally  occupied  forever. 

This  is  why  brides  so  rarely  renew  the  beau 
ties  and  blandishments  of  their  wardrobe.  I 
am  writing,  of  course,  about  women.who  are 
natural,  not  those  who  are  unnaturally  fash 
ionable.  With  three  babies  to  sew  for,  I 
scarcely  thought  of  myself  or  of  my  clothes 
for  years.  Adam  continued  too  poor  to  afford 
more  than  one  servant.  His  own  expenses 
were  frightful  and  absolutely  necessary. 
Therefore,  I  economized  in  dresses  and  hats 
and  the  sweet  foolishness  of  feminine  finery 
generally.  I  must  have  made  a  sad  contrast 
in  his  mind  with  the  fashion-plate  society  in 
Washington.  But  he  never  failed  to  praise 
my  "thrift,  so  that  I  cultivated  the  science  of 
224 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

thrift  until,  at  thirty-eight,  I  looked  to  be  fifty. 
I  was  just  a  village  woman,  faithful  to  my 
husband,  absorbed  in  my  children  and  ener 
getic  in  my  house  and  garden.  They  are  no': 
a  bad  type;  these  village  women.  They  are 
often  the  solemn  seeds  of  great  souls  which 
have  fallen  in  good  ground.  Those  of  the 
upper,  streaked,  bedizened,  frivolous  strata  of 
society,  who  find  it  so  amusing  to  observe 
and  record  the  ways  and  appearance  of  such 
women,  have  lived  in  such  thin  soil  all  their 
lives  that  they  do  not  know  we  are  the  real 
bread  of  society,  the  ugly  old  wheatheads  that 
nourish  it  morally  and  make  it  last. 


15— Eve's  Second  Husband. 


225 


A  SENATORIAL  COMET 
AND  AN  ADAMIC  LIE 


CHAPTER  XI 

A  SENATORIAL  COMET  AND  AN  ADAMIC  LIE 

IEECKON  God  produces  the  most  won 
derful    "serials"    in    this    world.      He 
makes  every  life  so  interesting  that  the 
man  who  lives  it,  and  especially  the  woman 
who  lives  it  with  him,  hold  on  to  it  far  more 
tenaciously  than  either  of  them  does  to  hope 
or  ambition  or  happiness.    Even  if  they  can 
not  bear  each  other,  they  go  on  living  to 
gether,  like  the  right  hand  and  the  left  hand. 
They  love  the  company  of  each  other's  misery. 
They  fit  one  another's  ugliness  like  homely  old 
garments  so  long  worn  that  they  yield  to  the 
figure  more  comfortably  than  new  ones. 
229 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

As  for  me,  I  am  thankful  that,  whatever 
complaint  I  may  make  against  Adam's  ways, 
living  with  him  has  never  been  dull.  It  seems 
to  me  I  have  been  like  a  sort  of  huge  lay  fig 
ure  in  a  swift,  comet-tail  romance  most  of  the 
time.  He  has  always  been  able  and  willing 
to  afford  all  the  excitement,  anxiety,  joy  and 
distress  the  morbid  nature  of  woman  craves. 
There  have  been  days,  it  is  true,  when  I  have 
looked  up  at  the  cemetery  hill  beyond  Boone- 
ville,  and  have  contemplated  the  old  arbor- 
vitae  above  Mr.  Bailey's  last  resting-place 
with  the  thought  that  probably  I  would  rather 
be  buried  beside  my  first  husband — I  have 
the  feeling  that  Adam  may  be  restless  even 
in  his  very  grave;  but  from  start  to  finish  I'd 
infinitely  rather  live  with  my  second  husband. 
It  may  be,  after  you  have  finished  this  chapter, 
you  will  think  it  is  a  scandalous  preference. 
I  cannot  help  what  you  think.  There  is  a  lot 
that  is  scandalous  in  the  human,  even  in  good 
women  humans.  They  may  not  admit  it,  or 
believe  it ;  nevertheless  it  is  there. 
230 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

And  marriage  is  a  queer  state,  anyhow; 
much  queerer  than  those  people  think  who 
try  to  get  into  it — and  being  in,  strive  to  get 
out.  It  is  not  so  everlastingly  happy  as  un 
married  lovers  suppose  it  is.  That  sweet-haw 
thorn,  blue-eyed,  romantic  look  of  marriage 
on  the  outside  is  the  wise  lie  Nature  tells  to 
get  them  into  the  yoke  of  it.  Neither  is  it  a 
sacrament.  Because  in  that  case  too  many 
bonded  modern  marriages  would  be  sacri 
leges.  Neither  is  it  merely  a  "contract"  such 
as  some  head-end  socialists  claim.  It  is  a  re 
lation,  like  any  other — only  nearer.  You  may 
get  into  it  sacredly  or  sacrilegiously,  or  with 
no  end  of  sentimental  foolishness  about  not 
staying  together  in  it  one  hour  after  the  glory 
and  glamour  of  love  is  past.  But  when  either 
the  one  or  the  other  gets  out,  is  divorced, 
both  are  maimed  for  life.  They  experience 
a  death  of  some  immortal  member,  like  love. 
I  have  known  good  women,  utterly  blameless, 
who  were  divorced  from  their  husbands  for 
the  best  of  decent  reasons,  but  I  never  knew 
231 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

one  who  could  be  normal.  Something  that 
you  cannot  see,  but  which  you  know  and  ob 
serve,  limps  forever  afterwards.  And  the 
same  thing  is  true  of  men.  You  would  not 
think  it,  considering  that  when  they  are 
most  married  they  are  so  much  less  married 
than  women  are.  Still,  it  happens  in  them 
also — a  strange,  irremediable  destruction. 

Another  curious  thing  about  marriage  is 
that  the  least  unfaithfulness  of  the  wife  af 
fects  and  destroys  it  a  thousand  times  quicker 
than  any  thoroughgoing  unfaithfulness  of 
the  husband.  This  is  because  the  racial 
moral  sense  is  so  profoundly  different  in 
women  from  what  it  is  in  men.  In  women  it 
is  narrow,  personal,  absolute,  for  herself.  She 
bases  her  self-respect  upon  her  own  chastity, 
not  her  husband's.  In  a  man  it  may  be 
naively  impersonal,  a  thing  he  relies  on  often 
only  in  his  wife  for  his  children.  And,  again, 
he  may  be  as  virtuous  as  the  best  woman,  yet 
have  no  respect  for  himself  if  his  wife  is  not. 
All  this  is  worse  than  unfortunate.  It  is  bar- 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

barons.  But,  things  being  as  they  are,  it  is 
pathetically  fortunate  that  women  tolerate 
more  immorality  in  men  than  they  do  in  them 
selves.  If  they  did  not  we  should  not  get 
enough  legitimate  children  to  properly  dot 
the  male  i's  and  cross  the  poor  little  female 
t's  of  the  next  generation. 

However,  all  this  is  prefatory  to  something 
I  am  not  yet  ready  to  tell.  I  will  go  on  a 
little  more  about  Adam. 

It  is  not  always  easy  to  be  elected  to  Con 
gress,  but  once  you  are  elected,  being  a  con 
gressman  is  infinitely  easier  than  clerking  in 
a  grocery  store  or  plowing  corn  for  a  living — 
that  is,  unless  you  are  ill  bred  and  want  to 
show  off  by  making  speeches  and  rising  like 
a  green  exclamation  mark  to  a  "  point  of 
order"  in  the  House,  when  everybody  knows 
that  the  thing,  the  bill,  or  whatever  it  is,  has 
been  mended,  amended  and  settled  by  the 
"committee"  beforehand,  as  usual.  All  a 
young  congressman  has  to  do  is  to  keep 
quiet,  follow  the  old  bellwethers  of  his  party, 
233 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

get  a  secretary,  establish  an  epistolary  rela 
tion  with  his  constituents,  encourage  them  to 
ask  for  little  things  like  sample  betty-bugs 
to  eat  other  bugs,  garden  seed,  and  different 
kinds  of  minnows  for  their  fishponds.  Then 
he  must  be  prompt,  faithful  and  businesslike, 
with  a  touch  of  personal  intimacy,  in  fulfill 
ing  their  requests.  It  is  not  expensive.  The 
Government  furnishes  the  betty-bugs,  seeds 
and  minnows. 

When  Adam  had  been  in  Congress  ten  years 
there  was  not  a  cabbage  above  ground  in  his 
district  or  a  fish  under  the  water  thereof  that 
could  not  trace  its  lineage  back  to  Uncle  Sam. 
It  came  to  the  pass  that  a  man  was  ashamed 
if  his  snapbeans  did  not  have  the  Govern 
ment  back  of  them.  And  there  was  not  a 
voter  anywhere  who  could  not  show  a  friendly 
personal  letter  from  Congressman  West,  in 
Washington.  Of  course  there  was  occasion 
ally  some  old  dunderhead  who  demanded 
something  harder  to  get.  Give  a  constituent 
an  inch  and  he  will  take  an  ell.  Once,  I  re- 
234 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

member,  it  was  made  known  to  Adam  that 
his  reelection  depended  upon  getting  an  ap 
propriation  to  make  locks  in  the  river.  Adam 
was  worried.  I  may  say  he  was  distracted. 
For  it  is  much  easier  to  get  perch  minnows 
and  lettuce  seed  out  of  the  Government  than 
an  appropriation. 

"Damn  it!"  he  exclaimed  one  day.  "I 
wish  this  entire  district  were  dry  land!" 

Then,  after  a  moment's  frowning  medita 
tion,  he  concluded: 

"But  in  that  case  they  would  have  de 
manded  an  even  greater  appropriation  to  dig 
a  canal  through  it!" 

He  spent  most  of  that  year  in  Washington, 
even  between  sessions.  It  seems  that  there 
is  a  great  deal  of  gimlet  work  connected  with 
getting  money  from  the  Government,  and  for 
the  first  time  we  had  to  "entertain."  This, 
I  have  come  to  understand,  was  more  em 
barrassing  to  Adam  than  it  was  to  me.  For 
I  did  not  know  how  to  entertain  fashionably; 
I  knew  only  how  to  be  hospitable. 
235 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

He  had  added  an  ell  to  the  house  after  the 
children  came,  which  gave  us  an  extra  room 
for  company.  The  only  thing  I  regretted  was 
that  the  ell  took  up  the  space  I  had  always 
given  to  poppies  in  the  garden.  And  it  is  no 
use  to  tell  the  people  of  the  world  who  will 
read  this  how  much  I  missed  my  fine  red-and- 
white  silk  ladies.  I  do  not  think  the  poppy 
is  a  moral  flower.  But  it  always  seemed  to 
sustain  the  same  relation  to  the  other  simple- 
hearted  blossoms  in  my  garden  that  fashion 
able,  alluringly  clad  women  in  fast  society 
do  to  homelier,  less  attractive  women  who 
are  far  above  being  in  society.  Yet  I  could 
not  help  liking  them,  cherishing  them.  They 
came  up  every  spring,  and  were  careful  not 
to  do  it  too  soon,  like  delicate  women  un 
willing  to  expose  themselves  to  inclement 
weather.  There  was  an  air  of  exclusiveness 
about  them,  as  though  they  had  made  a  fash 
ionable  summer  resort  of  the  western  corner 
of  the  garden.  And  if  you  plucked  one  it 
shed  its  petals  at  once,  as  though  it  could 
236 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

not  bear  its  surroundings — just  as  those  same 
ladies  mentioned  above  sulk,  leave  off  their 
finery  and  loll  in  ugly  kimonos  if  you  take 
them  away  from  the  vainglories  of  their  par 
ticular  "set."  I  exhausted  my  horticultural 
skill  trying  to  make  those  poppies  bloom 
somewhere  else  in  the  garden.  They  merely 
dropped  down,  withered,  as  much  as  to  say: 

"We  simply  cannot  do  it!  Our  petticoats 
and  parasols  have  been  ruined  in  this  expo 
sure,  in  these  disgusting  surroundings." 

But,  I  say,  we  had  the  company  room,  some 
what  removed  from  the  confusion  created  by 
the  children  in  the  rest  of  the  house.  And 
occasionally  now  Adam  brought  some  mem 
ber  of  the  appropriation  committee  home  with 
him,  who  occupied  it  for  a  week  at  a  time— 
a  week  fraught  with  mysteries  for  me  and 
hospitable  anxieties  for  Adam.  I  always  felt 
as  though  I  were  walking  in  a  sort  of  Coney 
Island  darkness  that  might  terminate  in 
shocking  revelations  when  Adam  had  a 
brother  politician  in  the  house.  Such,  for  ex- 
237 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ample,  as  a  pretty  little  wicker  basket  with 
an  empty  bottle  lying  sideways  in  it,  as 
though  it  had  been  as  delicately  nurtured  as 
an  infant.  It  had  a  French  label  on  it,  and 
Adam  said  it  was  a  " tonic'7  Senator  B.  took. 
This  Senator  B.  was  a  remarkable  man  in 
many  ways  besides  being  an  important  mem 
ber  of  the  appropriation  committee.  He  was 
of  small  stature,  with  a  shock  of  black  hair, 
and  had  the'appearance  in  the  face  of  having 
been  parboiled.  He  could  drink  more  water 
than  any  person  I  have  ever  seen,  and  most  of 
it  was  expensive  mineral  water.  Eeally,  it  was 
serious.  And  the  more  I  saw  of  the  strange 
ness  of  the  senatorial  appetite,  the  less  I  won 
dered  at  Adam's  expenses  in  Washington. 
A  senator  or  congressman,  I  found,  might 
eat  very  little,  alarmingly  little,  but  it  might 
take  twenty-five  dollars  a  week  to  furnish  him 
with  just  digestible  water.  Adam  and  Sena 
tor  B.  never  sat  down  that  summer  on  the 
little  side  porch  in  front  of  the  company  room 
without  having  "something  to  drink"  on  the 
238 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

table  between  them  and  bottles  of  water  in 
buckets  of  iced  water  by  their  side.  It  was 
no  trouble  for  me,  for  we  always  hired  a 
negro  boy  to  "wait"  on  them  whenever  we 
had  a  statesman  in  the  house.  And  it  was 
from  Aaron,  the  black  boy,  that  I  learned 
how  much  mineral  water  our  guest  consumed. 
It  seems  to  me  that  in  public  life  men  eat 
less  and  less  solid  food,  and  depend  more  and 
more  upon  the  liquid  diet. 

Another  peculiarity  of  Senator  B.  was  his 
mind.  He  was  determined  to  do  such  and 
such  a  thing  with  the  country.  I  never  un 
derstood  what,  but  he  spoke  of  "the  coun 
try"  at  large  as  though  it  were  his  golf  ball. 
Washington  was  simply  the  tee  from  which 
he  would  send  it  where  he  thought  best.  He 
believed  he  was  anointed  by  the  Lord  for  his 
stroke,  and  apparently  that  was  the  only  use 
he  had  for  a  Superior  Being — a  sort  of  mas 
ter  of  ceremonies  to  his  own  greatness.  This 
is  the  most  dangerous  kind  of  statesman  there 
is.  He  gets  a  profound  "call"  to  turn  the 
239 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

country  upside  down,  and  lie  can  do  it  with 
a  clear  conscience  when  he  can  do  it  at  all. 
There  is  no  form  of  paresis  so  evident  and 
so  common  among  them  as  this  paresis  of 
egotism,  especially  when  we  have  worn  out 
a  couple  of  old  political  parties  and  have  to 
line  up  some  new  ones.  The  popcorn  activity 
of  his  ideals  seems  to  him  heroic  inspiration; 
and  maybe  it  is.  But  where  one  such  man 
succeeds,  a  hundred  fail.  I  have  always 
thought  that  the  great  measure  of  Adam's 
strength  lay  in  the  fact  that  he  was  never 
an  egotist,  but  was  always  a  dramatist,  and 
of  no  mean  ability;  especially  when  he  took 
a  notion  to  dramatize  one  of  his  own  half 
dozen  characters.  Thus  he  secured  the  influ 
ence  of  Senator  B.  on  the  appropriation  com 
mittee,  and  eventually  through  him  the  money 
he  needed  for  the  river-locks,  because  he  knew 
how  to  play  the  proper  complimentary  ac 
companiment  to  the  senator's  egotism.  Adam 
was  the  simple-minded  gentleman  in  an  old- 
fashioned  home,  who  held  down  the  note 
240 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

of  the  senator's  achievement  long  enough  to 
insure  its  furnishing  the  bass  notes  in  every 
conversation.  He  effaced  himself  in  the 
political  orbit,  leaving  his  guest  to  flash 
around  it  like  a  split-tail  comet  of  phenomenal 
speed  and  splendor.  Above  all,  he  was  the 
earnest  but  helpless  champion  of  his  river's 
needs.  He  was  nothing.  The  river  was  every 
thing,  and  B.  was  the  anointed  of  the  Lord- 
anything,  everything  he  called  himself. 

I  have  sometimes  feared  that  perhaps  I 
am  not  as  stupid  as  Adam  has  always  taken 
such  comfort  in  believing  me  to  be.  I  say 
"feared,"  because  he  is  the  kind  of  man  who 
could  never  bear  the  needle-eyed  inspection 
of  a  shrewd  woman.  A  woman  may  have  a 
very  receptive  and  even  a  profound  mind 
without  the  fact  being  discovered.  Thus, 
with  me,  conversation  is  an  involuntary  men 
tal  disguise.  I  cannot  talk  about  anything 
much  but  the  children— what  they  have  said 
or  done.  It  seems  to  me  I  have  a  passion  for 
telling  their  little  sayings.  I  can  no  more 

j(5 — Eve's  Second  Husband. 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

help  it  than  an  old  cat  can  help  licking  the 
fur  of  her  kittens.  I  feel  a  kind  of  glow  in 
side,  as  though  my  heart  were  blooming, 
when  I  repeat  things  like  this  from  little 
Langston. 

1  'Well,  little  man,"  said  Senator  B.  to  him 
one  day,  "do  you  expect  to  follow  in  your 
father's  footsteps?" 

"No,"  replied  the  child  gravely.  "I  ex 
pect  to  make  a  few  tracks  of  my  own!" 

And  I  am  always  nervous  for  fear  every 
new  acquaintance  will  not  realize  merely 
from  contemplating  Eyangeline  that  she 
"leads"  all  her  classes.  It  seems  to  me 
fathers  and  mothers — everybody,  in  fact- 
ought  to  make  much  of  this  swift,  transient 
brightness  in  girls.  It  is  so  pitiful  the  way 
they  stop,  glaze  over  and  become  dull  as 
women  after  they  have  frisked  sometimes 
entirely  through  a  coeducational  institution 
at  the  head  of  the  class.  And  most  of  them 
do.  So,  I  say,  I  could  not  help  talking  about 
our  boys  and  praising  our  girl.  Neverthe- 
242 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

less,  over  and  above  this  maternal  obsession, 
I  have  a  mind  that  observes  and  compre 
hends  vastly  more  of  what  goes  on  about  me 
at  large  than  I  could  ever  reveal  in  words. 
For  instance,  I  cannot  remember  when  I  have 
not  stood  off  and  watched  Adam  play 
stronger,  more  influential  men  like  Senator  B. 
for  what  he  wanted.  Yet  I  have  never  men 
tioned  such  a  thing  to  Adam,  and  he  is  far 
from  supposing  me  capable  of  so  much  ob 
servation. 

The  one  object  that  confuses  me  is  Adam 
himself.  I  think  more  about  him  and  under 
stand  him  better  when  he  is  not  present.  The 
moment  he  approaches  me,  it  is  as  though  I 
had  a  strong  light  flashed  in  my  eyes.  I  ex 
perience  ever  anew  the  sweet  blindness  of 
love,  a  sort  of  automatic  devotion  to  him; 
and  although  in  the  gallery  silence  of  my 
mind  I  know  exactly  how  much  of  his  suc 
cess  has  been  due  to  mere  histrionic  ability, 
I  have  never  hissed  him  even  secretly.  It 
is  not  his  worthiness  or  his  unworthiness  that 
243 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

renders  him  dear  to  me,  but  it  is  himself,  the 
amazing  combination  his  body  and  spirit 
make  of  both.  I  believe  the  effort  to  shield 
him  from  the  rigors  of  my  own  righteous 
condemnation  has  forced  me  to  become  more 
of  a  philosopher  than  a  good  woman  ought 
to  be.  I  mean  that  I  am  capable  of  looking 
at  both  sides  of  a  question  where  he  is  in 
volved,  and  of  bearing  with  his  political  emer 
gencies  in  a  morally  accommodating  spirit. 

And  nothing  has  ever  been  so  shocking  to 
me  as  to  have  some  one  else  recognize  in  him 
the  same  limitations  that  I  have  covered  with 
my  love  by  day  and  my  prayers  by  night. 
This  brings  me  to  relate  a  certain  instance. 

So  long  as  Adam  was  in  the  state  legisla 
ture  and  state  senate,  he  controlled  his  own 
press — that  is  to  say,  he  edited  the  "Ban 
ner,"  which  was  the  only  newspaper  in  the 
section  he  represented.  But  when  he  ran  for 
Congress  the  hawkeye  of  more  than  one  news 
paper  in  the  state  was  turned  searchingly 
upon  him.  Now  and  then  he  appeared  in  the 
244 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

moving-picture  shows  the  press  made  of  pub 
lic  men  and  their  adventures,  but  it  was  usu 
ally  in  a  good-natured  way.  Besides,  I  rarely 
read  the  papers  and  did  not  know  that  he 
appeared  in  them  at  all  until  the  "Mephisto- 
cles  Commercial  Applause, "  a  very  promi 
nent  paper  in  the  state,  suddenly  reported 
in  frightful  headlines  that  Colonel  Adam 
West,  congressman  from  the  — nth  District, 
was  said  to  be  philandering  with  certain 
prominent  Republicans  at  a  time  when  every 
Democrat  should  stay  by  his  old  lady,  or 
words  to  that  effect.  Then  followed  half- 
veiled  allusions  to  the  "gay  and  debonair " 
life  that  Colonel  West  led  in  Washington, 
and  the  prediction  that  it  would  terminate 
with  the  next  election  if  the  said  colonel  did 
not  pay  less  attention  to  what  he  was  doing 
and  more  to  what  he  ought  to  do.  The  thing 
was  illustrated  with  a  big-headed,  spider- 
legged  cartoon  of  Adam  in  a  perfectly  kill 
ing  attitude  of  grandiloquent  eloquence  be 
fore  the  symbolic  figure  of  a  stout  old  ele- 
245 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

phant.  I  did  not  mind  the  reference  to  party 
infidelity.  Even  a  woman  knows  that  too 
much  fidelity  to  party  platforms,  party  lines, 
and,  above  all,  to  party  candidates,  has  been 
one  of  the  causes  of  evil  administration  in 
this  country.  But  I  experienced  a  nameless 
anxiety  about  Adam,  as  the  first  Eve  might 
have  felt  if  her  Adam  had  gotten  out  of 
Genesis  and  strayed  as  far,  say,  as  the  Song 
of  Solomon.  My  fears  were  the  more  de 
pressing  because  of  their  vagueness.  A  wife 
is  usually  at  a  disadvantage  when  she  at 
tempts  to  think  out  clearly  and  exactly  what 
her  husband  has  been  doing  wrong,  because 
as  a  rule  it  is  unbearably  unthinkable. 

I  brooded  all  day  over  that  paragraph  in 
the  "Mephistocles  Commercial  Applause " 
which  referred  so  leeringly  to  the  gayety  and 
debonairness  of  Congressman  West;  then  I 
wrote  the  following  note: 

Dear  Adam:  Come  home.  I  must  see  you  at  once. 
The  matter  is  urgent  and  affects  my  happiness.  We  are 
(jli  well.  Affectionately  yours,  EVE. 

246 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  suppose  the  most  sterile  and  naturally 
expurgated  literature  in  this  world  is  the  cor 
respondence  between  the  middle-aged  husband 
and  wife.  Two  days  later  I  received  this  tele 
gram: 

WASHINGTON,  D.  C. 

Cannot  come  now.  What  is  the  matter?  Write 
particulars.  ADAM. 

I  clipped  the  entire  article  from  the  "Me- 
phistocles  Commercial  Applause,"  marked  the 
sentences  exploiting  the  gay  and  debonair 
features  of  his  life  in  Washington,  and  sent  it 
to  him  with  the  following  note : 

Dear  Adam:  It  matters  little  to  me  whether  you  fol 
low  a  donkey  or  an  elephant  in  your  political  convic 
tions,  and  I  can  bear  your  being  innocently  "gay."  I 
know  you  have  a  happy  disposition.  But  how  do  you 
come  by  this  word  "debonair"?  That  adjective  always 
seemed  to  me  designed  exclusively  for  curly-headed 
bachelors  without  family  cares.  Affectionately,  EVE. 

This  immediate  reply  came  by  wire : 

WASHINGTON,  D.  C. 

Reporter  damned  liar.  You  dearest  woman  in  the 
world.  "Debonair"  name  of  new  cravat.  Be  home  on 
22d,  ADAM, 

247 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

By  this  time  I  was  only  a  very  large,  deep- 
bosomed,  middle-aged  wife.  I  wore  plain 
dresses  and  my  hair  to  match,  and  I  had  a 
double  chin;  but  in  my  heart  I  was  as  joyful 
as  the  youngest  Eve  when  I  read  this  tele 
gram.  Looking  back  over  life,  I  know  the 
happiest  hours  I  have  ever  spent  have  been 
those  in  which  I  believed  most  firmly  some  lie 
Adam  has  told  me.  This  was  true  even  when 
I  had  a  profound  inner  conviction  that  it  was 
a  lie.  I  only  set  my  faith  the  sturdier  task 
of  believing  it.  And  really  this  is  no  harder 
than  believing  some  of  the  things  one  is  taught 
to  believe  literally  in  the  Bible ;  in  fact — I  say 
it  to  my  regret  and  shame — I  have  found  it 
easier  to  exercise  this  egregious  faith  in  Adam 
than  in  some  of  the  things  Moses  says  he  did. 
I  am  not  throwing  off  on  Moses,  you  under 
stand,  but  off  and  on  I  have  been  tempted  to 
believe  he  exaggerated  little  circumstances 
connected  with  his  conducting  of  the  Israelit- 
ish  expedition.  This  is  the  great  temptation 
of  great  men,  and  is  by  no  means  an  ignoble 
248 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

one.  Adam  never  had  it.  His  fallaciousness 
was  simply  the  well-embroidered  'curtain  he 
hung  between  me  and  the  distressing  sight  of 
his  shortcoming,  his  sin,  or  whatever  it  was 
he  wanted  to  hide  from  me. 

So  on  this  day  I  folded  the  dear  telegram, 
slipped  it  into  my  bosom  more  slyly  than  a 
girl  does  a  love  note,  and  I  was  reassured, 
deeply  refreshed  from  my  sadness,  like  a  dry 
field  that  has  had  a  rain  and  suddenly  feels 
the  ends  of  a  thousand  sweet  blossoms  stirring 
in  its  soil.  For  the  hundredth  time  Adam  was 
my  renewed  annuity  in  happiness.  All  this; 
yet,  far  within  some  chapel  place  of  the  spirit, 
where  candles  dimly  burn  before  every  wo 
man's  altar,  I  beheld  myself  bowed,  weeping, 
inconsolable;  because  I  knew,  in  spite  of 
Adam's  assurance,  that  I  had  been  bereaved, 
that  I  was  in  some  sense  a  widow  and  my 
children  partly  fatherless.  Many  a  wife  is, 
and  feels  it ;  although  she  may  never  know  it. 


249 


THE   SERPENT  CHEATS  EVE 
OF  HER  ADAM 


CHAPTER  XII 

THE  SERPENT  CHEATS  EVE  OF  HER  ADAM 

THINGS  are  not  the  way  they  look.  Even 
the  naked  eye  deceives  us.     Take  a 
good  story.    You  read  it  with  thrills 
of  delight.     You  itemize  the  virtues  of  the 
hero.     You  see  his  life  as  a  whole,  not  day 
hy  day.    You  think  how  good  and  noble  such 
a  man  must  feel.    This  is  the  Deception.    He 
feels  worried  and  ill-tempered  half  the  time. 
If  you  were  in  his  place,  doing  the  very  things 
the  author  describes  with  so  much  heavenly 
pigment,   you  would   probably  be   bored   to 
death,  or,  what  is  more  likely,  worked  to  death, 
if  you  chose  the  part  of  the  hero  in  the  best 
253 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

modern  story.  Apt  as  not,  you  would  wind 
up  and  out  with  nervous  prostration  and  a 
violent  disgust  at  the  hysterics  of  greatness. 
What  I  am  thinking  of  in  this  connection 
is  the  way  we,  the  children  and  I,  were  living 
now  in  Booneville.  It  looked  idyllic.  Our 
husband  and  father  was  away  in  the  world, 
where  a  man  ought  to  be,  doing  his  part  with 
distinction;  while  we  remained  safe,  secluded 
at  home,  where  the  wife  and  the  children  ought 
to  be.  And  everything  about  the  place  sug 
gested  that  one  idea — home — a  house  in 
which  prayers  were  said  about  the  mother's 
knees  at  evening;  where  bread  was  set  to 
rise;  where  every  rug  and  chair  and  table 
was  a  little  faded,  a  bit  worn  or  scratched, 
as  things  are  in  a  house  gifted  with  children. 
And  the  sounds  that  went  out  of  it  were  all 
sweet  sounds:  their  laughter,  their  quick, 
happy  cries,  their  joyful  babble,  their  tran 
sient  quarrels,  their  unweaned  cries  for 
" Mother  I"  the  clatter  of  their  feet,  the  prints 
of  their  fingers  everywhere.  Outside  there  were 
254 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

the  flowers  that  had  lived  and  bloomed  in  the 
family  so  long  they  had  become  a  part  of  it. 
When  you  have  gathered  the  same  colored 
roses  from  the  same  bush  for,  say,  twenty 
years,  it  is  no  longer  just  a  shrub,  it  is  your 
sister,  the  rose,  who  has  shared  your  con 
fidences  upon  sad  days  and  happy  days  as  you 
came  and  went  and  sometimes  paused  beside 
it  through  the  thickening  years.  At  first  you 
were  a  bride,  a  woman  rose,  beside  it.  Then 
you  were  a  mother,  whose  baby  leaped  at  the 
sight  of  the  red  beauty  of  it.  And  then  you 
were  middle-aged  and  wise  in  all  the  troubles 
and  illnesses  of  roses  and  babies.  You  have 
an  intimacy  with  the  old  thorn-legged  lady 
by  this  time  that  is  closer  than  that  with  your 
human  next-door  neighbor,  who  may  also  be  a 
trifle  thorny  herself. 

And  you  must  not  forget  the  dog.  I  have 
not  mentioned  him,  but  we  always  kept  a  dog, 
just  as  rich  people  keep  a  majordomo.  He 
was  a  liver-spotted,  fatherly-looking  animal 
of  the  mastiff  family,  who  lived  upon  the  door- 
255 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

mat  on  the  veranda  for  many  years  with  the 
firm  intention  of  seizing  a  burglar  in  case  one 
should  appear  there.  None  ever  did,  but  this 
always  seemed  to  me  the  mark  of  his  great 
fidelity.  Night  after  night,  from  his  earliest 
puppyhood  down  to  an  old  age  when  his  eyes 
were  too  dim  to  see,  his  legs  too  stiff  to  bear 
him  in  a  chase,  he  never  failed  to  be  on  the 
watch  throughout  every  night  for  this  burg 
lar.  If  you  should  ever  be  going  through 
Booneville,  and  should  pass  the  side  gate  of 
the  Adam  West  place,  you  will  see  the  grave 
of  this  protector  of  the  West  family  in  one 
corner  of  the  garden.  He  was  buried  there 
with  great  pomp  and  ceremony  by  Langston 
and  little  Adam  only  a  few  years  ago.  You 
will  see  his  epitaph  upon  the  surface  of  one 
of  the  broad  boards  in  the  back  fence.  It 
reads  thus : 

Waller 

Age  of  Langston 

Died  June  5 

He  was  a  good  dog 

256 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

There  is  an  epic  simplicity  always  in  the 
praise  children  bestow. 

You  will  agree  that  this  which  I  have  writ 
ten  about  our  home  and  life  in  Booneville  is 
attractive,  suggestive  of  virtue,  honesty, 
obedience  and  archaic  peace.  It  has  the  Eden 
look.  But  if  you  had  lived  there  year  after 
year  you  would  have  understood,  better  than 
the  preachers  ever  tell,  why  Adam  and  Eve 
were  cast  out  of  the  garden.  They  wanted 
to  get  out.  They  were  bored.  The  Scrip 
tures  say  nothing  about  it,  but  from  my  own 
experience  those  two  elders  of  our  race  would 
have  got  out  of  that  place  if  they  had  had  to 
eat  every  apple  on  the  tree  of  forbidden  fruit, 
tear  it  up  by  the  roots  and  fling  it  over  the 
fence  of  flaming  swords.  After  a  while  I  had 
this  same  discontent  in  Booneville.  I  was 
tired  of  the  same  infinitely  simple  cares  that 
never  changed.  I  had  made  an  Eden  for 
Adam  which  he  appeared  to  find  very  restful 
during  his  short  vacations  at  home;  but  for 
me  the  duties  connected  with  it  were  getting 

17 — Eve's  Second  Husband.          -wO  I 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tedious.  In  my  opinion,  if  the  Almighty  is 
the  careful,  loving  Father  we  think  He  is, 
He  does  not  have  so  good  a  time  as  the  crea 
tures  He  has  made — He  has  so  many  worlds 
to  look  after,  so  many  suns  to  set,  so  many 
stars  to  shine,  so  many  prayers  to  consider. 

I  do  not  know  really  what  was  the  matter 
with  me.  Some  of  the  disorders  of  women 
that  give  them  the  most  distress  have  never 
been  discovered.  As  nearly  as  I  could  tell, 
this  was  a  miasma  of  the  spirit.  It  seemed  to 
me  I  was  tired  of  being  a  good  housekeeper, 
a  faithful  wife  and  a  devoted  mother.  And  all 
at  once  the  thing  I  was  most  tired  of  was 
Adam's  staying  away  from  home  so  much. 
Everything  went  down  in  a  groove  and  the 
groove  seemed  to  be  located  in  the  deepening 
furrow  between  my  eyes. 

To  add  to  my  confusion  a  good  many  people 
began  to  behave  with  exaggerated  kindness 
toward  me,  as  though  they  knew  what  I  did 
not  know — that  is,  what  was  the  matter  with 
me.  I  noticed  this  first  in  mother.  She  came 
258 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

in  oftener,  tried  more  and  more  to  relieve  me 
of  the  care  of  the  children;  and  she  began 
to  do  little  things  for  me,  like  the  making  of 
pretty  garments,  such  as  I  had  not  worn  since 
I  was  a  girl.  Then  she  praised  me  a  great 
deal.  Although  she  had  always  been  so  silent, 
she  became  talkative  and  cheerful,  the  way 
one  is  with  a  very  sick  person  who  needs  en 
couragement,  It  was  queer.  And  that  was 
not  all.  Mrs.  Sears  was  so  attentively  kind 
she  became  offensive.  I  suppose  I  was  hard 
to  please.  But  it  seemed  that  all  at  once  I 
had  become  a  mendicant,  and  that  my  friends 
and  neighbors  were  trying  to  keep  me  from 
starving  to  death. 

One  day  Mrs.  Sears  brought  over  a  jar  of 
preserved  Japanese  plums. 

"I  thought  maybe  it  would  do  you  good, 
even  if  you  don't  like  'em,  just  to  know  folks 
are  thinking  about  you,"  she  said,  looking  at 
me  curiously. 

Then,  after  a  pause,  she  added: 

"1  should  think  you  wouldn't  be  satisfied 
259 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

living  here  and  Colonel  West  so  far  away 
yonder  in  Washington. " 

"I  am  accustomed  to  it  after  so  many 
years, "  I  answered. 

"Still,  it  seems  to  me  a  wife  ought  to  stay 
with  her  husband;  seems  it  would  be  safest." 

"It  is  too  expensive  to  take  the  children  to 
Washington ;  besides,  Adam  wants  to  keep  the 
home  here.  He  is  fond  of  it." 

"Do  you  ever  hear  from  him?"  was  her 
next  question,  which  offended  and  astonished 
me. 

"Adam  writes  to  me  every  day  of  his  life. 
Why?" 

"Well,  I  wouldn't  have  thought  it,"  was  her 
enigmatic  reply. 

The  next  afternoon,  as  I  sat  on  the  veranda 
sewing  buttons  on  one  of  little  Adam's  jackets, 
Aunt  Rebecca  Langston  came  in.  She  was  my 
Uncle  Sam's  wife.  She  was  a  very  fat  old 
woman,  with  thin  gray  hair,  large  pale-blue 
eyes,  a  small  mouth  with  a  shadow  of  a  mus 
tache  above  it,  and  she  had  a  nose  that  had 
260 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

not  aged  in  a  single  line  since  she  was  thirteen 
years  old.  It  was  short,  soft,  almost  bridge- 
less,  and  turned  up  at  the  end.  Eeally,  one 
did  not  know  what  to  think  of  it  until  Aunt 
Eebecca  began  to  talk.  Then  it  was  perfectly 
clear.  She  was  still  a  mischievous  little  girl 
of  thirteen  in  her  mind.  And  her  nose  was 
the  warning  Nature  held  up  to  let  people 
know  it. 

She  had  a  spiteful  little  theory  of  self- 
righteousness,  which  led  her  to  say  and  do 
things  with  no  more  reference  to  consequences 
than  a  child  has.  She  was  the  kind  of  person 
who,  being  a  Protestant,  would  have  taken 
pleasure  in  poking  the  altar  cloth  in  a  Catholic 
cathedral  with  the  muddy  end  of  her  umbrella. 
She  knew  how  to  make  the  most  of  being  ir 
responsible.  Everybody  humored  her  because 
everybody  was  afraid  of  her.  Whenever  you 
saw  her  coming  you  knew  there  would  be  a 
killing  before  she  left.  Somebody's  reputa 
tion  would  have  to  give  up  its  ghost.  She 
could  talk  only  in  the  vernacular  of  scandal. 
261 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

She  sat  down  beside  me  with  the  air  of 
being  ready  to  tell  me  if  I  asked  her.  I  did 
not  ask  her.  I  had  a  vague  dread  that  she 
had  the  sword  of  her  tongue  drawn  upon  some 
thing  or  somebody  near  me. 

"Have  you  seen  old  man  Todd  since  he 
came  back  from  Washington ! ' '  she  demanded. 

"No." 

"Well,  he  saw  Adam.  And  what  he  saw 
of  Adam  is  enough  to  turn  your  hair  white, 
Eve." 

"What?"  I  asked  faintly. 

She  drew  her  chair  nearer  with  a  hitch, 
poked  her  eye  right  into  my  face  and  ex 
claimed  : 

"Do  you  mean  to  tell  me,  Eve,  that  you 
have  no  suspicion  of  what  has  been  the  talk 
of  this  town  for  more  than  six  months?" 

"I  have  no  idea,  Aunt  Eebecca,  what  you 
are  referring  to. ' ' 

She  drew  up  and  leaned  back  in  her  chair, 
placing  one  fat  hand  upon  each  of  her  fat 
sides.     She  was  taking  aim. 
262 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Well,  Pd  like  to  see  Sam  Langston  make 
such  a  fool  of  me  as  Adam  has  made  of  you. 
Sitting  up  here  working  for  a  man  and  nurs 
ing  and  bringing  up  his  children  for  him  while 
he  sashays  around  Washington  with  another 
woman !  Old  man  Todd  says  they  are  living 
together  as  quiet  as  two  turtledoves — like  a 
respectable  man  and  wife;  says  the  folks  at 
that  hotel  told  him  so;  says  they  all  think 
she  is  his  wife.  He  says  it's  a  little  hotel  on 
a  side  street.  I  made  him  give  me  the  street 
and  number  for  you,  and  here  they  are." 

She  fumbled  in  her  bag  and  brought  out 
a  slip  of  paper  upon  which  was  written  the 
dreadful  address.  I  took  it  mechanically. 
The  silence  of  death  had  fallen  upon  me.  It 
seemed  that  the  old  heart-strangler  was  dis 
appointed.  She  had  expected  a  scene.  She 
did  not  know  that  what  she  saw  was  frightful 
— a  woman  sitting  up  and  dying  without  the 
relief  of  being  able  to  change  expression. 

1  i Look  here,  Eve ;  I  hope  you're  not  going  to 
be  the  coward  your  mother  was  before  you." 
263 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Mother?  What  has  mother  to  do  with 
this?" 

"I  am  talking  about  the  way  she  let  your 
father  behave  without  ever  so  much  as  open 
ing  her  mouth.  There's  nothing  she  hasn't 
taken  from  that  man.  It's  been  like  she  was 
on  the  rack  all  these  years  and  determined  he 
should  not  make  her  cry  out.  He's  wasted 
her  property,  he's  a  drunkard,  and  he's  had 
another  woman  nearly  ever  since  him  and  her 
were  married.  And  your  mother  knows  it. 
I've  told  her  myself.  But  she  never  lets  on. 
It  ain't  respectable,  and  I  do  hope  you'll  not 
follow  after  her." 

"I'll  not,"  I  managed  to  say. 

She  was  so  comforted  with  this  assurance 
that  she  made  haste  to  end  her  visit. 

Later  in  the  evening  mother  came  in,  and 
I  wondered  as  I  looked  at  her  that  I  had  never 
suspected  her  sorrow.  It  was  written  like  an 
elegy  in  the  wrinkles  upon  her  face. 

"Mother,"  I  said,  "do  you  know  about  it?" 

"About  what!"  she  asked. 
264 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

" About  Adam." 

"Yes,"  she  answered,  regarding  me  quietly, 
as  though  from  a  great  distance. 

"Oh,  mother!"  I  cried.  "What  ought  I  to 
do!" 

"If  women  knew  the  answer  to  your  ques 
tion  we  could  transform  the  world." 

I  was  lying  upon  the  bed.  She  sat  beside 
it  with  folded  hands,  too  poor  to  console,  too 
upright  to  offer  a  lie.  Presently  she  went  on, 
not  to  me,  but  like  one  accustomed  to  reason 
ing  with  the  shadow  of  herself. 

"There  is  something  in  every  man  to  which 
no  good  woman  appeals.  Apparently  it  is 
his  antecedent  nature,  the  one  he  had  before 
he  acquired  the  capacity  for  morals.  And 
being  a  good  woman  does  not  pay,  except  in 
goodness.  Men  are  profoundly  dependent 
upon  such.  They  trust  them  with  their  honor, 
to  bear  their  children,  and  there  is  no  one  in 
the  world  who  reveres  good  women  as  men 
do,  no  one  who  abominates  bad  ones  as  men 
do.  Nevertheless,  the  bad  ones  attract  them, 
265 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

not  more  nor  as  long,  but  oftener,  than  the 
good  ones  do.  And  they  squander  upon  the 
former  what  would  crown  and  reward  the 
latter."  She  sighed.  "So,  I  say,  most  of  us 
—at  least  many  of  us — lose  our  reward,  that 
medal  for  excellence  in  the  virtues,  which  ren 
ders  us  indispensable  to  the  nation  and  a  trifle 
tiresome  to  our  husbands.  We  do  not  seem 
to  have  all  they  need.  I  think  we  lose  it.  We 
amount  to  just  so  much  life;  we  divide  that 
between  our  duties  of  goodness/ part  to  the 
house,  part  to  the  children  and  what  is  left 
of  us  is  not  enough  for  our  husbands.  Mean 
while,  the  bad  women  do  not  have  any  duties 
of  goodness.  They  keep  all  their  vitality  for 
one  thing.  Men  go,  they  just  naturally  go, 
to  where  they  can  get  the  most  for  what  they 
are." 

"But,  mother,  what  are  we  to  do?  What 
am  I  to  do?  If  I  had  not  found  out  it  would 
not  degrade  me  to  go  on  living  with  him.  But 
now,  how  can  I?" 

"I  do  not  know,  my  daughter.  I  have  some- 
266 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

times  thought  that  we  do  not  exercise  the 
natural  privilege  of  killing  our  husbands  as 
often  as  we  ought  to ! " 

"Mother!"  I  gasped. 

It  was  like  looking  into  a  volcano  at  the 
bottom  of  a  quiet  sea.  Her  face  had  the  same 
elegy  look,  yet  she  was  talking  of  murdering 
father  in  the  same  tone  she  would  have  dis 
cussed  putting  a  mustard  plaster  on  his  back. 
As  for  me,  I  'd  as  soon  have  thought  of  killing 
one  of  the  children  as  Adam. 


267 


EVE  DISCOVERS  A 

NEGLECTED   DIGIT   IN   HER 

DOMESTIC   EQUATION 


CHAPTER  XIII 

EVE   DISCOVERS   A   NEGLECTED   DIGIT   IN    HER 
DOMESTIC  EQUATION 

IT  never  occurred  to  me  to  doubt  Aunt 
Rebecca's  story.    I  had  some  sorrowful 
witness  of  the  spirit  which  confirmed  it. 
A  middle-aged  wife  is  apt  to  have,  whether 
the  tale  she  hears  is  true  or  not.    The  name 
of  love  in  her  is  often  jealousy.     It  is  the 
quick  involuntary  confession  she  makes  of 
the  fading  of  her  own  loveliness. 

I  spent  the  whole  night  considering  the 
situation.     Twenty   years    earlier   I   should 
have  spent  the  whole  of  it  weeping  and  pray 
ing  for  guidance.    By  this  time  I  understood 
271 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

that  we  are  endowed  with  an  intelligence 
which  works  backward  and  forward  to  guide 
ourselves  properly,  while  God  gives  His  more 
immediate  attention  to  larger  affairs,  like  fix 
ing  new  stars.  It  is  what  a  good  many  highly 
conceited  praying  people  never  find  out.  And 
this  accounts  for  the  emotional  piety  which 
sometimes  takes  them  sanctified  in  the  wrong 
direction.  Thus  it  happens  that  the  more 
deeply  religious  a  woman  is  the  more  apt  she 
is  to  forsake  her  husband  at  this  point  and 
pave  the  rest  of  his  way  to  hell  with  sighs 
and  a  bereaved  expression;  and  it  is  certain 
that  there  is  nothing  more  degrading  than 
the  pusillanimous  faithfulness  of  such  a  wife 
to  her  unfaithful  husband.  She  becomes  a 
little,  drab-souled,  popcorn  saint,  who  know 
ingly  shares  him  and  makes  a  virtue  of  hop 
ping  up  and  blossoming  too  white  upon  the 
griddle  of  her  sorrow.  A  good  many  men 
tend  too  much  to  the  Abraham  type— ^-matri 
monially,  anyhow.  When  Sarah  humored 
Abraham  with  a  Hagar  she  set  a  worse  ex- 
272 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ample  and  did  infinitely  more  harm  morally 
than  when  the  poor  little  sweetheart  Eve 
shared  that  wormy  apj5le  with  Adam.  I  was 
in  too  much  pain  at  the  time  to  think  all  this 
as  clearly  as  I  am  writing  it  now,  but  it  com 
forts  me  to  know  that  even  then  I  had  the 
right  moral  feeling  about  the  whole  matter 
and  that  I  wasted  no  time  praying  for  myself. 

The  queer  thing  about  it  all  was  this:  how 
sorrow  sometimes  delivers  a  woman  from  the 
tyranny  of  many  cares.  In  the  course  of  that 
night  I  forgot  the  pull  and  drain  of  a  hun 
dred  daily  duties.  The  children  asleep  in 
their  beds  passed  out  of  my  mind.  I  did 
not  know  it,  but  I  was  experiencing  a  release 
and  getting  a  rare  sense  of  freedom.  I  had 
a  change  of  thought,  a  new  companion  in 
my  new  trouble. 

When  the  dawn  came  I  arose  and  dressed 
myself.  There  was  the  image  of  a  sad 
woman's  face  in  the  mirror  which  I  refused 
to  consider — when  you  have  been  reduced  to 
combing  your  hair  straight  back  and  wind- 

18— Eve's  Second  Husband.          2(6 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ing  it  conveniently,  but  not  becomingly,  at 
the  back  of  your  head;  when  your  features 
have  lined  up  with  just  your  virtues,  and 
there  remains  in  your  expression  nothing  but 
the  witness  of  your  maternal  integrity,  you 
lose  interest  in  looking-glasses.  It  would  be 
two  hours  before  life  stirred  in  the  town.  I 
went  out  softly;  and  found  myself  alone  with 
the  world  and  the  stars  just  taking  leave  of 
it.  Suddenly,  unaccountably,  I  experienced 
an  intimacy  ancient  and  strong  with  the  liv 
ing  things  of  the  soil.  If  there  was  only  one 
woman  in  the  world  I  believe  the  roses  would 
speak  to  her.  It  seemed  that  the  grass  knew 
me.  The  flowers  in  the  garden  looked  at  me 
like  little  hallelujah  virgins  who  had  been 
sitting  up  all  night  with  the  dead.  In  the 
valley  below  the  town  the  prayer  of  the  night 
still  lay  upon  the  earth  like  the  peace  we 
sometimes  have  after  a  long,  refreshing  sleep. 
There  was  not  a  sign  in  Nature  anywhere  that 
recognized  or  accorded  with  my  grief.  The 
lilies  glistening  by  the  garden  fence,  the  dew 
274 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

plants  and  balsam  along  the  path  and  the 
"pretty  by  nights"  under  the  windows  all 
refused  to  consider  the  tragedy  of  Adam's 
unfaithfulness.  The  difference  between  the 
fever  of  being  human  and  the  health  of  being 
just  the  rose  and  the  dust,  neither  of  which 
have  ever  felt  the  stir  and  anguish  of  mortal 
mind,  is  so  beneficent  one  might  be  tempted 
to  wonder  if  man  is  not  a  disease  developed 
by  a  sick  clod.  The  meaning  of  the  vigor 
ous  heartlessness  of  every  green  stalk  and 
bough  slowly  dawned  upon  me,  sitting  there 
in  the  garden,  and  brought  me  back  to  some 
thing  like  the  right  sense  of  things.  The  way 
to  live  is  not  to  suffer.  Misery  is  a  kind  of 
degradation  of  the  spirit  brought  on  by  the 
mind,  not  by  any  circumstance  of  life. 

It  is  too  long  ago  now;  I  cannot  follow  the 
trail  of  my  thoughts  word  for  word  through 
that  strangely  healing  hour,  but  for  the  sake 
of  many  I  am  setting  this  down  here  as  a 
scripture  of  life  worth  following.  For  a  few 
moments,  a  very  few,  in  the  dawn  of  each 
275 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

day,  it  is  easy  for  any  man  or  any  woman  to 
return  and  be  closer  kin  to  the  things  they 
were  before  they  suffered  the  frightful  scan 
dal  of  becoming  mortal.  And  the  experience 
is  singularly  corrective  in  its  effects  upon  that 
impiety  of  human  nature  which  we  praise  as 
"emotion." 

Since  Aunt  Bebecca's  revelations  of  the  day 
before,  Adam  had  been  dead  to  me.  All 
women  have  a  pallbearing  passion  for  bury 
ing  and  mourning  over  love  now  and  then; 
and  it  would  horrify  a  good  many  husbands 
if  they  knew  how  often  their  wives  bury  them. 
The  point  is,  we  cannot  permit  them  to  remain 
buried.  We  cannot  long  endure  the  self-im 
posed  bereavement.  "We  are  like  little  girls  at 
heart,  who  go  back  and  rob  their  doll  graves 
after  they  have  enjoyed  the  thrills  of  the 
funeral.  It  was  impossible  for  me  to  live  with 
out  Adam.  So,  refreshed  and  revived  by  the 
spirit  of  the  morning,  I  began  to  plan  what  to 
do — not  with  tears,  but  a  better  understand 
ing. 

276 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Old  Mr.  Todd  had  reported  that  the  woman 
in  Washington  who  engaged  his  attention  was 
young  and  very  "gay,"  to  use  Aunt  Re 
becca's  own  little  frivolous  word.  Evidently 
she  was  the  counterpart  of  something  winged 
and  transient  in  Adam.  In  short,  he  had 
found  his  "affinity."  I  reckon  many  a 
thoughtful  person  has  observed  that  a  man 
rarely  marries  his  affinity,  although  women 
often  make  this  mistake.  To  do  it  is  like  a 
solid  body's  disregarding  the  law  of  gravity. 
Adam  had  forgotten  me,  his  honest  earth,  for 
a  little  operatic  strophe  of  femininity;  but  if 
he  had  married  her  instead  of  me  she  would 
have  forsaken  him  at  the  end  of  the  strophe. 
I  say  men  do  not  make  this  mistake  as  often 
as  women  do  in  marriage;  this  is  why  they 
have  less  trouble  with  their  wives  than  wives 
have  with  their  husbands,  which  is  really  un 
avoidable  since  there  are  so  many  more 
transient  affinities  among  men  than  there  are 
good  husbands.  Meanwhile  it  appeared  that 
I  had  been  so  busy  doing  right  that  I  had 
277 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

gone  wrong.  I  had  taken  all  the  responsibility 
of  the  family,  economized,  nursed  the  children 
and  neglected  the  most  important  digit  in  my 
equation — namely,  myself.  I  had  lost  that 
quality  of  personal  feminine  assurance  which 
is  called  attractiveness  in  women.  There 
is  not  in  this  world  a  more  durable  or  homely 
person  than  a  middle-aged  woman  who  has 
given  her  whole  mind  to  her  other  duties.  She 
is  good  and  dependable,  but  she  is  not — what  a 
man  must  have  in  a  woman  -adorable.  She 
is  simply  the  fertile  soil  in  which  her  family 
grows  and  flourishes.  From  being  poetry  I 
had  become  prose ;  and  Adam  was  a  man  with 
a  lyrical  nature,  who  could  not  bear  too  much 
prose,  no  matter  how  good  it  was.  This  was 
why  he  had  been  attracted  to  the  little  dog 
gerel  of  femininity  in  Washington  so  graphic 
ally  described  by  old  Mr.  Todd  and  Aunt  Re 
becca.  The  doggerel  woman  makes  a  crime 
of  her  clothes  and  of  her  complexion,  I  knew. 
Still,  this  was  an  indication  of  the  nature  of 
man  to  which  I  had  not  given  enough  at- 
278 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tention.  With  me,  clothes  had  been  a  neces 
sity,  not  a  decoration.  Poor  Adam  had  lived 
for  years  with  a  wife  who  wore  rick-rack  braid 
on  her  petticoats  because  it  was  durable,  and 
who  would  "freshen"  up  an  old  hat  with  a 
Methusaleh  crown  to  save  expense.  Economy 
began  to  look  like  a  wifely  defalcation  in  love. 
My  thrift  had  cheated  Adam,  the  lover. 

So  at  last  I  came  upon  my  courage  as  the 
sun  arose  upon  the  garden.  For  me,  this  was 
a  discovery  in  the  arithmetic  of  existence. 
Women  are  rarely  brave  except  to  bear 
physical  pain,  to  endure  privation  and  to  sac 
rifice  morbidly  what  they  ought  to  keep  for 
themselves.  They  lack  the  cool  stamina,  the 
initiative  of  positive  courage,  with  which  to 
meet  an  emergency  that  yields  neither  to 
dumb  endurance  nor  to  ecstatic  religious  en 
durance.  To  get  the  right  courage  not  to  en 
dure  is  the  great  thing.  Up  to  this  time  I 
had  been  brave,  like  mother,  as  a  lamb  be 
fore  the  shearers  is  dumb.  Now,  all  at  once, 
I  began  to  feel  the  blood  of  my  father.  Father 
279 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

was  not  much  of  a  man,  but  he  was  a  good 
hero,  once  you  got  him  started.  He  had 
acquired  a  sort  of  steel-spring  courage  in  the 
Confederate  army,  which  only  lasted  long 
enough  at  a  time  to  lead  a  forlorn  hope ;  but 
while  it  lasted  it  ticked  out  splendid  history. 
I  say,  I  felt  for  the  first  time  the  stimulation 
of  this  kind  of  desperation.  And  when  a  wo 
man  of  forty,  with  an  immense  rather  than 
a  beautiful  figure,  who  has  acquired  an  ex 
pression  which  reminds  you  of  Longfellow's 
Psalm  of  Life  rather  than  of  feminine  pret- 
tiness,  resolves  to  change  her  views  of  life, 
her  character  and  her  appearance,  she  is 
braver  than  any  veteran.  At  once  I  had  a 
new  interest  in  life  which  was  not  a  new  baby. 
This  was  to  reclaim  Adam,  not  from  sin  and 
destruction  so  much — but  from  another 
woman.  If  one  could  peel  off  the  angelic  ex 
pression  of  the  most  saintly  woman  in  exist 
ence  one  might  be  astonished  to  discover  how 
simple,  direct  and  like  the  most  primitive 
woman  she  is  in  this  particular. 
280 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

The  opening  of  Mrs.  Sears 's  kitchen  door 
on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street  roused  me 
from  the  reverie  into  which  I  had  passed  with 
the  coming  of  the  light.  Mrs.  Sears  was  a 
woman  whose  very  nature  had  bereaved  her 
of  a  bust.  She  was  blamelessly  flat  from  her 
chin  downward.  She  always  did  her  colorless 
hair  up  in  long  black  hairpins  at  night,  which 
gave  her  wide  sallow  face  with  its  prominent 
blue  eyes  the  peeled  look  of  an  idiotic  spirit. 
She  never  voluntarily  appeared  anywhere  but 
at  her  kitchen  door  until  after  the  hairpins  had 
been  removed  and  her  thin  locks  had  been  ar 
ranged  in  a  row  of  little  pale  scallops  on  each 
side  of  her  face.  She  had  the  mouse-gnawing 
curiosity  of  her  class,  however;  and  now  she 
stood,  regardless  of  her  appearance,  like  a 
funny  paper  figure  in  the  darkened  doorway 
with  a  pan  of  bread  scraps  for  a  flock  of  noisy 
fowls  on  the  steps,  staring  at  me  idling  in  my 
garden  at  such  an  hour.  The  women  in  Boone- 
ville  never  sat  down  after  they  arose  in  the 
morning  until  late  afternoon.  I  construed  her 
281 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

hairpin-sharpened  expression  and  added  an 
other  resolution  to  my  list.  I  would  cultivate 
idleness  more  in  the  future.  I  would  never  be 
busy  again  oftener  than  I  could  help.  The 
women  men  admire  may  be  industrious,  but 
the  women  they  love  most  are  usually  idle 
ones.  I  made  a  footnote  in  my  mind  of  how 
much  Mr.  Sears  respected  his  wife  and  of 
how  little  he  loved  her,  as  everybody  knew. 

I  do  not  know  whether  I  shall  be  able  to  set 
down  here  with  proper  regard  for  the  canons 
of  literary  art  the  details  with  which  I  began 
to  carry  out  my  new  plans.  When  you  are 
living — not  writing  about  it — you  do  what 
comes  next  without  considering  whether  or  not 
it  will  make  an  interesting  chapter  in  your 
biography.  What  I  did  on  this  particular  day 
was  dramatized  later  when  Adam  received  the 
bills  in  Washington  and  is  set  down  here,  so 
far  as  I  am  concerned,  as  the  first  exaggerated 
items  of  expense  in  the  household  ledger. 

I  began  with  the  children.  After  they  were 
off  to  school  and  the  house  was  quiet  enough 
282 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

for  great  deeds,  I  gathered  up  two  or  three 
catalogues  of  different  wholesale  firms,  retired 
to  the  parlor,  closed  the  door  and  deliberately 
planned  to  involve  Adam  so  deeply  financially 
that  he  would  have  something  more  pressing 
to  think  about  than  pleasure  parties  with  a 
questionable  companion.  From  a  music  house 
in  Nashville  I  ordered  a  baby  grand  piano 
for  Evangeline.  She  had  a  talent  for  music 
which  had  never  been  cultivated  because  I 
dreaded  the  expense  of  buying  a  piano.  For 
Langston  I  chose  at  random  the  most  ex 
pensive  bicycle  I  could  find  advertised  by  an 
other  firm.  From  Martin's  livery  stable  I 
ordered  a  certain  diminutive  pony,  calico 
spotted,  for  which  little  Adam  had  expressed 
a  desire  vaguely,  as  he  would  have  wished  for 
the  moon.  Then  I  went  through  the  house 
considering  the  furniture  and  how  much  of  it 
I  could  bear  to  store  in  the  attic.  It  was  all 
inexpensive,  old,  ugly  and  very  dear  to  me  by 
a  thousand  associations.  There  were  two  old 
rawboned  rockers  in  which  Adam  and  I  used 
283 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

to  sit  before  the  living-room  fire  long  ago  when 
we  talked  over  his  first  campaigns,  and  a  lit 
tle,  duck-legged,  split-bottomed  child's  chair 
which  each  of  the  children  had  claimed  in  turn. 
I  resolved  to  replace  them  with  half  a  dozen 
leather-cushioned  library  chairs.  I  chose  new 
furnishings  entirely  for  the  parlor  and  a 
bird's-eye  maple  bedroom  suit  for  Evange- 
line  's  room.  There  were  other  purchases,  like 
a  mahogany  sideboard,  table  and  chairs  for 
the  dining  room;  rugs  and  a  new-fashioned 
hatrack  for  the  hall.  In  all,  I  managed  to  have 
charged  to  Adam  a  trifle  over  four  thousand 
dollars  at  the  different  stores  in  Nashville, 
where  fortunately  his  credit  was  good.  For 
the  next  week  I  rested  on  my  laurels  and 
awaited  the  arrival  of  my  purchases. 

When  the  express  wagons  and  furniture 
vans  began  to  arrive  and  unload  at  our  door 
all  Booneville  was  shocked  to  the  point  of  out 
rage.  There  is  nothing  so  insulting  to  the  vil 
lage  mind  as  a  happy  denouement  to  what 
seemed  a  tragedy.  Booneville  was  full  of  sad- 
284 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

eyed,  plumage-picked  wives  who  had  submit 
ted  silently  to  the  sorrow  of  having  unfaithful 
husbands.  Not  one  of  them,  it  seemed,  had 
ever  thought  of  profiting  by  such  a  situation ; 
in  fact,  it  was  a  trying  time  for  me.  The 
children  were  awed  by  so  much  formidable 
elegance  in  a  home  that  had  been  as  comfort 
ably  unelegant  as  an  old  bird's  nest.  I  did 
not  like  the  new  things  myself,  but  I  kept  a 
quiet  face  and  an  alert  mind  with  which  to  an 
swer  the  prowling  questions  of  my  neighbors. 

"Eve,"  exclaimed  Aunt  Rebecca  after  wad 
dling  through  the  house  and  punching  the  new 
chairs  to  determine  the  quality  of  the  cushions, 
"anybody  would  think  you'd  want  to  avoid 
notice  and  talk  while  Adam  is  carrying  on  the 
way  he  is  in  Washington,  instead  of  showing 
off  like  this." 

She  had  a  mind  that  had  been  preserved  in 
vinegar  and  her  only  animate  faculties  were 
critical. 

"Mrs.  Middlebrook  is  telling  it  every 
where,"  she  went  on,  "that  something  is 
285 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

wrong ;  that  Adam  must  have  added  gambling 
to  his  other  sins  or  you  couldn't  afford  such 
stuff  and  so  much  of  it  all  at  once.  She  says 
the  colonel  says  the  way  these  statesmen  in 
Washington  speculate  in  legislation  is  some 
thing  awful.  He  allows  now  he  is  glad  he 
never  supported  Adam  for  office. " 

"Still,"  I  retorted,  "Adam  has  always  been 
elected." 

Mrs.  Sears  came  in  to  say  that  since  we 
seemed  to  be  in  such  good  circumstances  she 
had  decided  to  charge  ten  cents  more  apiece 
for  making  the  boys'  jackets. 

"Very  well;  I  have  been  thinking  of  offer 
ing  you  twice  as  much, ' '  was  my  disconcerting 
reply. 

She  went  away  almost  in  tears  because  she 
had  demanded  less  and  because  of  the  con 
firmation  she  had  of  so  much  opulence. 

The  one  thing  that  has  a  worse  effect  upon 

women's    characters    than    extravagance    is 

penuriousness  which  has  been  reduced  in  them 

to  a  sort  of  thimble  thrift.    The  rarest  thing 

286 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

among  them  is  a  woman  who  can  spend  with 
out  spending  too  much  and  who  can  save  with 
out  saving  too  much. 

Evangeline  employed  all  of  her  spare  time 
out  of  school  now  thumping  on  the  piano  with 
agonizingly  long  intervals  of  suspense  between 
thumps.  Langston  had  hecome  a  bicycle 
centaur  and  little  Adam  had  worn  his  calico 
pony  down  to  skin  and  bones.  The  dog  retired 
to  the  back-door  mat.  He  had  a  proper  sense 
of  doghood  which  rendered  him  uncomfortable 
in  sight  of  the  glistening  front-hall  furniture. 
The  first  of  September  was  at  hand,  when  the 
bills  I  had  made  would  be  sent  to  Adam.  I 
awaited  his  next  letter  as  a  stubborn,  well- 
provisioned  city  awaits  the  investment  of  a 
hostile  army.  I  was  gifted  for  the  first  time 
in  my  married  life  with  a  separate  will,  which 
acted  independent  of  his. 

On  the  third  I  received  this  dispatch : 

Furniture  concerns  in  Nashville  send  me  enormous 
bills.  Don't  be  alarmed  and  don't  pay  if  presented  to 
you.  Mistake.  ADAM. 

287 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Women  are  naturally  loquacious.  We  have 
more  words  than  strength.  But  the  sight  of 
that  telegram  reduced  language  in  me  to  a 
masculine  brevity.  I  wired  hack: 

No  mistake.  Not  alarmed.  Will  not  pay  if  presented 
to  me.  Better  pay  yourself.  EVE. 

The  silence  which  existed  between  Wash 
ington  and  Booneville  for  the  next  two  days 
was  one  of  the  most  thrilling  experiences  of 
my  life.  The  doggerel  woman  faded  into  in 
significance.  The  garish  house  was  a  horror. 
I  feared  Adam.  The  fact  that  he  had  wronged 
me  and  the  children  did  not  in  the  least  miti 
gate  the  sensation  I  had  of  overwhelming  dis 
aster.  It  is  one  which  few  good  women  can 
brave;  and  this,  I  believe,  accounts  for  their 
pathetic  submission  to  ignoble  conditions. 

On  the  fourth  day  following  I  received  a 
bulky  legal-looking  envelope  containing  the 
sheaf  of  bills  for  the  piano,  rugs  and  furniture 
— and  a  brief  note  from  Adam  lost  among 
them.  He  wrote : 

288 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Dear  Eve:  I  infer  from  your  dispatch  that  you  know 
something  about  these  bills — please  explain. 

Affectionately,  ADAM. 

Love  is  a  queer  thing.  It  keeps  no  ledger. 
It  forgives  not  the  debts,  but  the  debtor.  I 
could  never  forgive  the  thing  he  had  done; 
but  Adam — the  dear  familiar  way  he  slashed 
his  t's  and  dotted  his  i's,  and  put  in  a  dash 
where  there  should  have  been  a  period, 
brought  his  image  before  me.  I  saw  the  hat 
on  the  back  of  his  head,  the  everlasting 
oratorical  animation  of  his  face,  the  winged 
smile  upon  his  lips.  I  remembered  the  treas 
ured  sweetness  of  a  thousand  words  he  had 
spoken — little  love  phrases  of  long  ago.  I 
went  out  in  the  garden  and  wept  like  an  exile 
far  from  home.  If  by  some  magic  I  could  have 
suddenly  returned  to  the  stores  all  that  I  had 
bought,  could  have  restored  from  the  attic  the 
old  things  to  their  accustomed  places  in  the 
house,  I  would  have  done  it  as  ruthlessly  as 
Joshua  made  the  sun  stand  still  and  as  re 
gardless  of  consequences.  Since  this  was  im- 

ig—  Eve's  Second  Husband, 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

possible  I  dried  my  tears  and  nerved  myself 
to  go  on  with  the  dreadful  ordeal  of  reform 
ing  the  too  versatile  romanticism  of  Adam's 
nature.  No  matter  how  pusillanimously 
tender  I  felt  toward  him,  the  respect  I  had 
for  myself  demanded  his  reclamation.  I  re 
placed  the  hateful  bills  in  a  fresh  envelope, 
addressed  it  to  him  and  inclosed  the  follow 
ing  note : 

Dear  Adam:    The   explanation   of  this  expense   for 

refurnishing  the  house  is  that  it  is  better  for  a  wife  to 

bankrupt   her  husband   than   for   her   to   economize   so 

much  he  can  afford  extravagances  for  another  woman. 

Affectionately,  EVE. 

You  will  observe  that  this  record  is  full  of 
contradictions.  It  is  only  in  fiction  that  men 
and  women  act  logically  according  to  the 
theme  of  the  romance.  In  life  you  act  path 
ologically  or  illogically  according  to  the 
exigencies  not  of  the  situation,  but  of  your 
heart,  that  whimsical  palpitation  of  life 
which  the  dust  does  not  have,  or  the  dust 
would  change  the  seasons  and  cast  up  bloom- 
290 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ing  stalks  in  December  or  wither  them  in  May, 
according  to  a  momentary  pulse  agitation. 
You  have  only  to  look  back  at  the  beginning 
of  this  chapter  to  see  how  cured  and  serene 
I  had  been  by  an  early  morning  intimacy  of 
an  hour  with  just  Nature,  less  than  a  week 
before.  But  now  I  had  lost  the  pale-dawn  trail 
of  thought  that  had  led  me  to  such  cool,  im 
personal  peace.  Nature  is  not  contradictory, 
but  human  nature  is.  Unless  you  are  a  tree 
or  a  blade  of  grass  or  a  thornbush  you  cannot 
follow  the  logic  of  just  the  seasons  and  you 
cannot  maintain  the  same  relation  to  things 
about  you.  It  is  the  effort  to  do  this  which 
makes  so  many  helpless,  unhappy  women 
take  refuge  in  various  nautilus  forms  of  what 
they  call  "new  thought."  They  seek  peace 
in  a  kind  of  mental  solution  of  personality.  It 
appeared  that  I  did  not  belong  to  this  class, 
that  I  had  revived  from  a  trance  and  had 
again  become  painfully,  lovingly  human. 
Having  burned  the  bridges  behind  me  by  send 
ing  the  above  letter  to  Adam,  I  was  no  longer 
291 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

on  speaking  terms  with  the  rose.  I  had  lost 
the  serenity  of  the  unspeaking  earth.  I  was 
once  more  kin  to  the  terrors  and  joys  of  life 
which  we  have  heen  at  such  pains  to  develop. 
All  Nature  could  not  supply  enough  peace  to 
comfort  me  if  Adam,  after  reading  my  letter, 
should  cleave  to  the  doggerel  woman  and 
abandon  me. 

There  were  times  in  the  evenings  after  the 
children  were  settled  to  their  lessons  when 
I  even  contemplated  visiting  Mr.  Bailey 's 
grave.  A  woman  never  quite  recovers  from 
being  her  first  husband 's  wife.  For  one  thing, 
she  knows  where  he  is;  and  that  was  exactly 
what  I  did  not  know  about  Adam.  However, 
this  is  not  a  record  of  the  feminine  catalepsy 
of  agonized  emotions,  and  I  pass  over  those 
days  of  anxiety.  One  thing  I  have  learned 
is  that  most  of  the  emotional  thinking  women 
do  is  unhappy  and  unhealthy,  and  must  be  for 
gotten  as  soon  as  possible  if  they  retain 
normal  strength,  physically  and  mentally. 

On  the  day  when  I  had  barely  had  time  to 
292 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

hear  from  Adam  again,  no  letter  came.  In 
the  afternoon  I  went  over  to  see  mother.  She 
had  observed  with  a  sort  of  cryptic  silence 
my  extravagances  of  the  past  few  weeks,  being 
the  one  person  who  made  no  comment.  It 
was  much  as  if  she  had  been  watching  a  June 
bug  tied  by  the  leg  zone  round  and  round, 
making  a  circle  the  width  of  the  length  of  the 
string  that  bound  it.  When  I  came  in  she  was 
peeling  and  quartering  quinces  for  preserves 
on  the  back  porch,  a  sweet,  ample  figure  in  a 
little  old  split-bottomed  chair,  her  knees  wide 
apart  supporting  a  yellow  crock  into  which 
she  was  dropping  the  fruit.  On  one  side  of 
her  was  a  feed  basket  full  of  the  quinces,  on 
the  other  a  pan  into  which  she  cast  the  cores 
and  peelings.  Whenever  I  am  tired  to  this 
day  it  rests  me  to  think  of  her  in  that  chair 
on  her  back  porch,  behind  the  world,  silent, 
secure  from  it.  She  was,  I  believe,  only  the 
holy  ghost  of  a  woman.  She  had  been  ex 
purgated.  Her  heart  had  been  broken.  She 
no  longer  suffered.  All  that  remained  of  her 
293 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

was  goodness  and  a  deep  wisdom.  The  kind 
of  goodness  in  a  woman  of  which  men  take  so 
many  advantages  and  the  kind  of  wisdom 
which  is  entombed  in  a  spirit  and  does  not 
affect  the  currents  of  life  about  it.  She  had 
never  improved  an  inch  of  father's  character 
with  all  her  loveliness.  He  had  slipped 
through  her  fingers  like  water  seeking  its  own 
level. 

"Mother,"  I  said,  drawing  up  a  chair  and 
beginning  to  help  her,  "what  do  you  think 
Adam  will  do!" 

"I  do  not  know,  daughter.  Whatever  is 
easiest." 

"How  do  you  mean?" 

"Men  do  what  they  think  is  fair  or  best 
for  them  in  their  dealings  with  men,  but  with 
women  they  do  what  is  easiest  at  the  moment. ' ' 

"Even  if  it  is  not  right?" 

"Even  if  it  is  wrong.  Men  have  less  cour 
age  than  the  most  timid  woman  in  their  deal 
ings  with  women  where  the  issue  is  one  of  feel 
ing  rather  than  of  business.  A  man  who 
294 


MEN   HAVE  LESS  COURAGE  THAN  THE  MOST  TIMID  WOMAN  ix 
THEIR  DEALINGS  WITH  WOMEN." 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

would  cheat  a  woman  out  of  the  last  cent  she 
had  would  not  be  able  to  resist  the  woman  her 
self  if  she  tempted  him.  I  reckon  it  is  the  way 
they  are  made;  and  for  the  best." 

"Why!" 

"Well,  if  they  were  not  made  so  they  would 
all  escape  us ;  and  we  cannot  live  without  them. 
We  can  exist  without  money,  without  fame, 
without  homes  or  children,  but  there  is  noth 
ing  so  impossible  for  us  as  to  live  without  the 
wear  and  tear  of  men  in  our  lives. ' ' 

This  might  be  good  philosophy,  but  it  was 
not  comforting  applied  to  my  own  case  of  the 
wearing  and  tearing  of  Adam.  I  arose  pres 
ently  and  started  home  the  back  way.  I  wore 
a  muslin  with  faded  lavender-colored  cosmos 
blossoms  in  it.  The  little  tatting  collar  of  it 
was  pinned  low  with  a  brooch  which  had 
Adam's  picture  in  it.  My  hair  was  parted 
evenly  in  the  middle  and  dropped  half  over 
my  ears,  because  it  was  wavy  and  could  never 
be  made  to  remain  tightly  bound  for  a  whole 
day.  It  was  still  a  very  light  brown,  but  was 
295 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

distinctly  gray  about  the  temples.  All  women 
are  more  or  less  self-conscious  at  heart,  at 
first  for  the  sake  of  practicing  their  charms, 
afterward  according  to  their  joys  and  sor 
rows;  but  I  was  long  past  any  consciousness 
about  my  appearance  and  I  should  never  have 
remembered  what  I  wore  that  day  had  it  not 
been  for  what  happened  afterward. 


296 


A  FAT  PHILOSOPHER 

STARCHES  EVE'S 

UPPER  LIP 


CHAPTER  XIV 


A  FAT  PHILOSOPHER   STARCHES  EVE*S   UPPER   LIP 


AS  I  entered  the  gate  and  passed  up  the 
path  between  clumps  of  sweet  jimson 
and  borders  of  balsam  and  pinks,  I 
saw  a  woman  ease  herself  carefully  down  the 
two  steps  from  the  back  porch,  balance  her 
self  when  she  reached  the  ground  and  advance 
to  meet  me.     She  could  not  have  been  more 
than  five  feet  in  height  and  she  had  the  exact 
appearance  of  a  large  feather  pillow  in  a  thin 
shirtwaist  and  skirt.     A  very  high-crowned 
yellow  straw  hat  did  what  it  could  to  add  a 
fictitious  cubit  to  her  stature.     Nothing  re- 
299 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

mained  of  an  expression  upon  the  broad  ex 
panse  of  her  face  but  a  little  apostrophe  nose 
which  turned  up  with  a  tilt  of  unconquerable 
animation.  I  have  never  seen  any  feature 
do  so  much  to  redeem  a  human  countenance 
from  the  vacuity  of  fatness.  The  cheeks  were 
jowls  released  at  the  bottom  into  an  immense 
double  chin.  The  mouth  was  a  mere  dropping 
line.  The  eyes  were  bright  blue  sparks  half 
smothered  beneath  thick  lids.  The  arched 
brows  above  were  only  the  caricature  wings 
of  the  merry  little  nose.  Crowded  in  the  door 
way  behind  her  stood  Evangeline,  Langston 
and  little  Adam,  staring  in  silent  amazement. 
I  stood  before  her  equally  transfixed.  She 
came  waddling  duck  fashion  and  holding  out 
her  hands. 

' '  0  Eve ! ' '  she  cried  in  a  lively  young  voice 
that  exactly  matched  her  nose.  " Don't  you 
know  me  ? ' ' 

I  did  not  and  showed  it, 

"It's  Lavinia — don't  you  remember!" — 
pant,  pant.  "But  of  course  I  have  changed" 
300 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

—pant,  pant.     "Still,  I'd  have  known  you, 
Eve,  anywhere.'7 

She  had  reached  me  by  this  time  and  stood 
with  her  hands  on  my  hips,  looking  up  at  me 
and  apparently  absorbed  in  what  she  saw. 

"Lavinia  Scarrott!"  I  murmured,  recalling 
the  figure  of  a  slim  girl  with  a  whisking,  elfin 
carriage,  who  used  often  to  make  the  pil 
grimage  of  the  Booneville  square  with  me  in 
our  girlhood  days. 

"The  same.  Clancy  Drew  and  the  oldest 
Todd  boy  always  made  eyes  at  us,  you  re 
member,  when  we  passed  the  courthouse 
steps." 

She  demanded  to  be  kissed. 

"It  is  so  long  ago !"  I  said  dully. 

"A  good  while ;  longer  for  you  than  for  me. 
I've  never  married,  you  see." 

I  nodded  assent.  It  is  always  a  thing  so 
clear  to  see  when  a  woman  is  not  married  at 
forty.  I  longed  to  embrace  her,  but  I  had 
never  learned  to  be  demonstrative  to  anyone 
except  Adam. 

301 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"One  cannot  be  a  wife  and  an  artist  at  the 
same  time.  They  are  two  separate  vocations 
that  lead  in  opposite  directions,"  she  ex 
plained  in  tones  of  defense. 

I  nodded,  and  wondered  if  it  was  art  or 
avoirdupois  that  had  come  between  Lavinia 
and  the  marriage  altar,  while  we  continued  to 
stare  at  each  other. 

"But,  good  heavens!  Eve,  don't  keep  me 
standing  here.  Can't  you  understand  that 
I've  come  to  see  you  and  I'm  tired  to  death?" 

She  flopped  down  upon  the  borders.  I  re 
fused  to  sit  upon  my  own  pinks,  but  knelt 
solicitously  in  the  path  before  her.  Aunt  Ee- 
becca,  who  was  the  fattest  woman  in  Boone- 
ville,  was  never  so  breathless  as  this. 

"Have  you  walked  far?"  I  communed  sym 
pathetically. 

"Yes,  I  have.  I  walked  from  your  front 
gate  to  the  house.  I  have  been  all  through  it, 
guided  by  your  hospitable  children;  and  I 
have  arranged  with  them  to  bring  back  the 
things  stored  in  the  attic.  They  are  homesick, 
302 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Eve,  for  their  little  chairs  that  they  are  too 
big  to  sit  in — the  darlings !  Then  we  saw  you 
coming  and  I  came  this  way  to  meet  you.  It's 
more  walking  than  I've  done  before  in  many 
a  day.  I'll  have  to  be  helped  or  I  shall  never 
get  back  to  the  house.  When  I  sit  down  as 
low  as  this  I  never  can  get  up.  It's  three 
years  since  I've  had  the  natural  womanly  com 
fort  of  sitting  on  the  floor  to  put  on  my  shoes 
and  stockings!" 

She  ran  her  hand  somewhere  into  the  folds 
of  her  skirt,  drew  forth  a  little  case,  took  from 
it  a  cigarette,  curled  up  one  of  her  feet  and 
with  a  strained  stretching  of  her  arm  reached 
it  with  a  match,  which  she  scratched  on  the 
sole  of  her  slipper. 

The  scandal  of  what  she  was  about  to  do 
shocked  me  into  a  proper  consciousness. 

"Lavinia,"  I  said  firmly,  "if  you  are  going 
to  smoke  that  thing  you  must  turn  around.  I 
cannot  allow  the  children  to  see  you  do  it." 

Fortunately  the  children  had  disappeared, 
for  it  seemed  that  she  could  not  turn 
303 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

around.  She  sat  like  a  round  muslin-covered* 
foundation  among  the  flowers. 

She  continued  to  regard  me,  her  nose  only 
giving  intimation  of  some  emotion  within.  It 
seemed  to  squirm  with  a  kind  of  tender  ex 
citement. 

"You  are  just  the  same,  Eve.  I'd  never 
have  believed  a  woman  could  have  preserved 
what  God  made  her  so  long.  The  world 
smacks  most  of  us  out  of  shape  so  soon.  For 
example,  you  were  always  so  nohly  silent — 
and  you  are  still.  You  are  glad  to  see  me  now, 
but  you  cannot  say  it." 

She  laughed  and  I  smiled  thankfully  at  her. 

Two  tears,  grotesquely  small  and  thin  con 
sidering  the  broad  expanse  of  her  face,  sud 
denly  made  their  appearance  and  trickled 
slowly  down  and  startled  me. 

" Don't  cry,  darling !"  she  sobbed,  although 
nothing  was  further  from  my  mind.  " Don't 
weep.  I  know  all  about  everything.  I  have 
been  in  Washington  two  years  painting  por 
traits  and  you  do  not  have  to  tell  me  a  thing. 
304 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  have  seen  Adam  once  or  twice  a  week  some 
where  ever  since  soon  after  this  mischief  be 
gan.  You  can  take  my  word  for  it,  the  thing 
will  not  last  much  longer.  He  looks  like  a 
fiery  devil  now.  They  always  take  on  that 
desperate  moral  hue  in  the  last  stage  of  an 
affinity  romance.  The  damnation  shade  of  it 
breaks  out  on  'em  like  measles.  The  reaction 
to  mother,  home  and  family  comes  next.  It's 
as  simple  as  puking.  You  always  do  it  when 
you  have  had  too  much." 

I  settled  down  upon  the  ground,  stunned 
and  fascinated  by  the  audacity  of  what  she 
was  saying.  She  drew  her  immense  bosom 
full  of  smoke,  held  it,  exhaled  it  in  a  hori 
zontal  whirlwind  of  blue  vapor  from  the  nos 
trils  and  went  on. 

"Meanwhile,  I've  come  to  help  you  hold  a 
stiff  upper  lip.  You  are  a  great  woman- 
Adam  has  told  me  about  you — but  I  Ve  always 
had  my  doubts  about  your  upper  lip.  A  mar 
ried  woman  doesn  't  get  much  chance  to  starch 
it.  Her  instinct  to  please  her  husband  is  a 

2O— Eve's  Second  Husband.  o05 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

kind  of  matrimonial  limberness  of  the  soul. 
Besides,  married  women  do  not  understand 
marriage  as  well  as  those  who  have  kept  out 
of  it.  You  are  too  much  involved  in  it  now 
to  get  the  right  eye-f or-an-eye  and  tooth-for-a- 
tooth  view  of  your  predicament.  All  you  have 
to  do  is  to  leave  Adam  alone  for  a  while.  Let 
him  feel  your  outer  darkness  and  he'll  come 
home  seeking  the  light  of  your  countenance. 
The  way  to  hold  a  husband  sometimes  is  to  let 
him  go  for  a  while  and  then  grip  him  in  a  new 
place.  All  men  are  tomcats  at  bottom  and 
men  like  Adam  can't  help  showing  it  when 
they  are  away  from  home ;  but  he  '11  come  back 
like  Bo-peep's  other  lost  bobtail  sheep  if  you 
can  wait  and  behave  properly.  He  told  me 
about  the  furniture  bills.  It  took  his  breath 
away — didn't  understand  it.  I  did.  That's 
why  I  came.  There  is  some  hope  for  a  wo 
man  who  is  willing  to  spend  money  to  save  her 
husband.  The  furniture  is  horrid,  of  course. 
It 's  a  crime  in  such  a  house.  You  are  no  judge 
of  anything — least  of  all,  rugs;  but  we  can 
306 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

ram  the  stuff  in  the  attic  and  get  the  old  things 
down  again.  The  point  is,  you  spent  the 
money — bravest  thing  I  ever  knew  just  a  good 
woman  to  do.  Good  women,  my  dear,  are  poor 
inanimate  creatures  for  the  most  part. ' ' 

She  rambled  on  telling  me  of  Adam 's  life  in 
Washington  as  ruthlessly  as  if  she  were  gos 
siping  to  a  stranger.  A  fat  woman,  I  believe, 
lacks  some  sensibility ;  not  the  same  one  every 
time,  but  the  one  the  other  person  needs  the 
most  that  she  should  have. 

Booneville  had  produced  one  genius  and 
was  so  scandalized  at  the  mistake  that  th<* 
town  had  spurned  her  the  moment  it  was 
known  she  painted  from  the  nude  in  Paris,  of 
all  places.  The  nude  was  bad  enough  any 
where,  but  the  nude  in  Paris  had  associations 
in  the  imagination  of  Booneville  that  were  un 
speakable.  For  years  Lavinia  Scarrott's 
name  had  been  only  a  horrified  whisper  in  the 
place  on  this  account.  It  only  added  to  her 
extinction  that  she  had  had  one  of  those  in 
decent  pictures  hung  in  the  Salon. 
307 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

In  the  first  place,  there  was  no  accounting 
for  the  gift  in  her  that  led  to  this  shame.  She 
was  what  the  scientists  call  a  "sport";  not 
like  anything  else  that  had  been  born  in  the 
family.  These  were  simple,  honest  people, 
who  belonged  to  the  Presbyterian  Church  and 
kept  a  grocery  store.  Looking  back,  the  neigh 
bors  declared  that  Lavinia  had  never  been 
"right."  Around  the  Booneville  square  she 
gave  a  smile  for  a  smile  and  was  not  above 
mimicking  a  wink.  She  flashed  through  her 
girlhood  like  a  butterfly  with  ragged  wings, 
as  indifferent  to  the  comment  she  excited  as 
if  she  belonged  to  another  element — as,  in 
deed,  she  did.  And  she  capped  the  climax 
after  the  death  of  her  parents  by  taking  her 
little  inheritance  and  leaving  for  Paris,  with 
a  feather  in  her  hat  and  a  box  of  disgraceful 
colors  under  her  arm.  For  two  or  three  years 
we  had  kept  up  an  intermittent  cor 
respondence,  but  after  my  marriage  to  Mr. 
Bailey  this  had  stopped.  He  said  he  did  not 
like  the  influence  of  such  a  person  upon  his 
308 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

wife.  For  Mr.  Bailey  to  call  anyone  a  "  per 
son  "  was  worse  in  his  language  than  if  he 
had  prefixed  it  with  the  conventional  mascu 
line  "damned." 

Keports  of  her  success  did  not  reach  Boone- 
ville  until  some  years  after  Adam  became 
editor  of  the  "Banner."  This  was  one  of  the 
boldly  patriotic  things  he  did — write  up 
Lavinia  Scarrott,  the  famous  young  artist,  as 
a  "native  of  Booneville"  who  was  now  one 
of  the  centers  of  artistic  activity  in  New  York. 
While  he  was  congressman  she  had  frequently 
had  commissions  in  Washington  and  had 
finally  moved  her  studio  there.  Adam  oc 
casionally  mentioned  her  in  his  letters,  re 
ferred  humorously  to  her  figure  and  acknowl 
edged  with  the  seriousness  of  respect  her  work 
as  a  portrait  painter.  But  Lavinia  had  had 
the  delicacy  or  the  diffidence  never  to  return 
to  Booneville.  I  believe  it  was  her  shape  more 
than  the  scandal  of  her  reputation  that  kept 
her  away.  A  woman  would  rather  visit  her 
own  grave  than  the  place  where  she  has  been 
309 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

young  and  beautiful  after  she  is  aged  and 
ugly. 

I  considered  this  as  with  the  uttermost  ef 
fort  I  dragged  her  up  from  the  grass  when 
supper  was  on  the  table;  and  I  warmed  my 
welcome  as  we  entered  the  house,  Lavinia 
limping  and  groaning  at  every  step. 

The  next  day's  mail  brought  no  letter  from 
Adam,  but  I  was  too  much  upset  by  what  was 
going  on  to  indulge  my  grief.  With  the  help 
of  two  men  hired  for  the  purpose  Lavinia 
managed  to  have  every  piece  of  the  new  fur 
niture  except  the  piano  carried  into  the  attic 
and  the  old  things  brought  down.  I  was  like 
dough  in  her  hands ;  the  children  were  lumps 
of  young  leaven  with  which  she  made  the  day 
rise  and  shine.  She  occupied  one  chair  in  the 
living  room  all  day;  from  this  she  directed 
what  was  done  with  the  animation  of  a  band 
master  practicing  a  Wagnerian  symphony.  If 
she  had  had  the  agility  in  her  legs  that  she  had 
in  her  arms  she  might  have  been  an  acrobat. 
The  walls  reverberated  with  the  excited  voices 
310 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

of  the  children  and  the  thumps  and  thuds  of 
heavy  burdens  being  moved  up  and  down 
stairs.  Mrs.  Sears  appeared  like  a  frightened 
apparition  first  at  one  window  of  her  house, 
then  another.  She  was  consumed  with  curi 
osity.  At  last,  no  longer  able  to  bear  the  sus 
pense  of  not  knowing  what  was  going  on,  she 
threw  her  apron  over  her  head,  hopped  in 
her  thin,  birdlike  fashion  across  the  street, 
knocked  at  the  back  door  and  demanded  to 
know  of  little  Adam,  who  opened  it,  if  any 
body  was  "sick." 

"It's  Mandy  Sears,"  screamed  Lavinia, 
who  appeared  before  Mrs.  Sears  in  all  the 
amplitude  of  a  pink  kimono  from  her  elevation 
in  the  living  room.  "Come  here,  Mandy.  I 
want  to  look  at  you,"  she  called. 

But  the  lady  cast  one  horrified  glance  at  her, 
recognized  her  and  fled.  Lavinia  laughed. 

"  Mandy 's  soul  was  always  quarantined  by 
devilish  righteousness,"  she  commented  un 
abashed. 

From  the  first  she  had  appropriated  every 
311 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

one  of  us  with  the  bland  assurance  of  her  own 
helpless  condition.  Evangeline  fastened  her 
clothes,  all  of  which  were  buttoned  behind, 
where  she  could  not  reach  them. 

"And  I've  never  gone  a  single  day  with 
them  unfastened, "  she  chirruped.  "Provi 
dence  always  sees  to  it." 

Little  Adam  buckled  her  shoes  with  the  same 
solemn  reverence  he  would  have  showed  "the 
fat  lady"  in  a  sideshow.  Langston,  who  had 
arrived  at  the  Newfoundland  puppy  stage  of 
adolescent  awkwardness,  fetched  and  carried 
for  her  incessantly.  Mother  came  over  in  the 
evening,  after  order  had  been  restored  and 
the  house  rested  with  its  old  vitals  in  the  right 
places,  from  the  rawboned  rockers  to  the  most 
ancient  rugs.  She  brushed  aside  twenty  years 
with  her  ineffable  smile  and  greeted  Lavinia 
as  if  only  the  day  before  she  had  tied  her  rib 
bons  and  seen  her  frisk  off  with  me  for  the 
afternoon  promenade.  Then  she  sat  down  op 
posite  her,  put  on  her  glasses  and  took  her  in, 
magnified  by  the  same. 
312 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Lavinia,"  she  said  in  the  thin  treble  of 
advancing  age,  "you  are  not  changed  a  par 
ticle — not  a  particle!  I'd  have  known  you  in 
the  Kingdom  of  Heaven. ' ' 

Lavinia  surprised  us  both;  she  burst  into 
tears,  passionate  weeping. 

"Mrs.  Langston,"  she  sobbed,  "you  are  the 
only  woman  in  the  world  good  enough  to  see 
that !  It's  because  you  see  through.  I  am  the 
same  in  my  heart,  in  the  way  I  feel;  but" — 
she  paused,  wiped  first  one  eye  and  then  the 
other  with  the  corner  of  her  handkerchief — 
"but  how  am  I  to  show  it,  as  thick  as  a  bale!" 

"That's  so,"  crooned  mother;  "you  have 
taken  on  a  little  more  flesh.  I  hadn't  noticed 
it." 

Nothing  is  more  certain  than  this:  where 
you  have  made  up  your  mind  to  be  merciful 
always  and  forever  God  inspires  you.  The 
wisest  man  in  the  world  could  not  have  thought 
of  so  comforting  a  thing  to  say  to  Lavinia  as 
mother  had  said  without  thinking  at  all. 

The  following  morning  the  full  treason  of 
313 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Lavinia  's  mind  was  revealed  to  me.  We  had 
breakfast,  the  children  were  off  to  school  and 
we  sat  together  in  the  living  room,  she  mixing 
paints  before  her  easel,  upon  which  she  had 
ordered  Langston  to  place  a  large  new  canvas 
which  she  had  brought  with  her.  I  was 
threading  a  needle  with  darning  silk  and 
listening  for  the  postman,  when  she  said : 

"You  know  what  I  have  really  come  for, 
don't  you?" 

"To  see  me,"  I  replied;  "and  I'm  so  glad 
you  did." 

"That,  of  course;  but  more  particularly  I 
have  come  to  paint  your  portrait.  I  want  a 
new  picture  for  my  exhibit  in  Washington 
week  after  next  and  I've  decided  to  make  it 
of  you.  I'll  call  it  'The  American  Eve.'  " 

I  gasped  and  blushed. 

"I  could  not  think  of  permitting  such  a 
thing." 

"You  dear  goose!"  exclaimed  Lavinia — 
"not  in  the  altogether." 

"But  I  have  nothing  suitable  in  which  to  sit 
314 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

for  a  portrait, ' ?  I  demurred,  remembering  my 
scant  wardrobe. 

"You  have  that  muslin  with  the  purple  cos 
mos  flowers  in  it  and  the  low  tatting  collar. 
That  is  the  very  thing.  What  I  want  is  the 
soul,  not  the  naked  form  of  Eve. ' ' 

I  could  not  understand,  but  at  last  I  sub 
mitted.  It  was  arranged  that  for  three  days 
the  children  were  to  be  exiled  to  their  grand 
mother  and  that  I  should  sit  for  a  portrait  to 
be  called  whatever  Lavinia  pleased  to  call  it. 

For  the  better  part  of  three  days  I  sat  be 
calmed  in  the  homeliest  chair  in  the  house  be 
side  an  open  window  that  overlooked  the 
blooming  garden.  She  worked  prodigiously, 
beguiling  the  time  with  stories  of  her  life  at 
home  and  abroad;  more  particularly  with 
what  may  be  called  a  vocative  treatise  on  mar 
riage.  The  woman  in  the  Scriptures  with 
seven  husbands  could  not  have  been  nearly  so 
well  informed  as  Lavinia  believed  herself  to 
be  on  this  subject.  She  spoke  out  of  the 
abundance  of  her  ignorance  with  an  im- 
315 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

agination  unhampered  by  experience.  She 
regarded  it,  she  said,  as  a  primitive  problem 
that  would  always  remain  primitive;  upon 
which  the  advance  of  social  culture  would  have 
little  effect. 

"It  is  the  one  relation  in  life  upon  which 
even  the  Bible  casts  no  light,"  she  exclaimed 
one  day. 

"It  says  husband  and  wife  are  one  flesh,'7 
I  put  in. 

"But  you  aren't, "  was  the  quick  rejoinder, 
"outside  of  your  children.  There  are  not  two 
people  in  the  world  with  more  different  flesh 
and  all  that  goes  with  the  flesh  than  you  and 
Adam.  Don't  talk  to  me,  Eve!  Marriage  is 
an  affair  of  the  jungle  and  must  be  protected, 
in  so  far  as  it  is  protected  at  all  by  the  laws 
of  the  jungle.  Go  where  I  have  been — in  the 
oldest,  most  cultivated  centers  of  civilization 
— and  there  you  will  see  a  greater  laxness  of 
the  marital  relation,  if  not  agreed  on,  at  least 
condoned,  than  you  will  find  among  many  of 
the  savage  tribes." 

316 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

It  was  no  use  to  argue  with  her.  Besides, 
I  was  in  no  position  to  contend  upon  this  sub 
ject.  Adam  continued  silent.  I  spent  most 
of  the  time  thinking  about  him  while  Lavinia 
talked.  This  is  how  I  account  for  the  expres 
sion  upon  the  face  of  that  portrait.  It  gives  a 
woman  the  most  spirituelle  of  all  spiritual  ex 
pressions  to  sit  and  think  about  an  unfaithful 
husband.  On  the  afternoon  of  the  second  day 
I  heard  an  explosive  sniff  after  I  had  been  sit 
ting  a  long  time  thinking  about  Adam. 

Lavinia  was  working  rapidly  with  the  tears 
streaming  down  her  broad  cheeks. 

"I'm  getting  it  at  last,"  she  murmured, 
brushing  the  tears  from  her  eyes. 

"Getting  what?" 

"There  is  a  poor  little  Eve  in  every  good 
woman  who  never  leaves  her  garden,  who  is 
always  seeking  sweeter  apples  for  her  Adam ; 
a  vaguely  sweet,  lonesome  soul  who  is  never 
at  home  in  the  world  outside.  She  is  the  spirit 
of  devotion  that  hovers  to  this  day  over  every 
ruined  Eden — Heaven  bless  her ! ' ' 
317 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

This  was  the  puzzling  explanation  she  gave 
of  her  tears ;  and,  having  shed  them,  she  was 
extravagantly  happy  to  the  end  of  her  task 
the  following  day,  a  happiness  that  was  in  no 
wise  dampened  hy  my  own  disappointment 
when  at  last  I  was  permitted  to  see  the  finished 
portrait.  The  figure  was  of  what  seemed  a 
great  woman  in  size,  sitting  with  folded  hands 
in  an  ugly  chair,  the  back  of  which  rose  higher 
than  her  head — a  sort  of  ladder  behind  her 
upon  which  the  light  gleamed. 

"But,  Lavinia,  no  cosmos  blossoms  were 
ever  so  large !"  I  exclaimed,  amazed  at  the 
lavender  glory  of  the  old  muslin  gown  in  the 
purpling  evening  light  of  the  picture.  "And 
my  hair — I  am  not  so  gray  as  that ! ' ' 

It  was  the  face,  bent  and  turned  away  into 
the  shadows,  that  alarmed  me.  It  seemed  in 
credible  that  she  could  have  known  how  sad 
I  was — and,  knowing,  could  have  betrayed  it 
so  pityingly. 

Through  the  window  the  flowers  in  the 
garden  looked  in  one  by  one,  each  with  an  ex- 
318 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

pression,  a  meaning,  for  the  woman.  The 
lilies  were  mindful  of  her  sorrow  and  inclined 
to  her;  the  roses  turned  their  heads  away. 
The  light  was  pale  and  the  whole  figure  faded 
into  the  dimness  of  the  darker  shadows,  all 
except  the  slats  of  the  chair  behind  her  head, 
which  held  the  pallor  of  a  strange  brightness. 

I  began  to  weep. 

1 1 0  Lavinia,  I  cannot  bear  that  this  should 
be  me!" 

' '  It  is  not  just  you,  dear.  It  is  the  poor  Eve 
that  is  in  us  all — the  woman  who  cannot 
change  or  escape  her  destiny,  ever  the  same 
in  the  old  or  new  lands,  doomed  to  waiting  and 
patience,  the  sanctuary  of  her  race,  with  rungs 
of  the  ladder  for  others  always  to  be  reached 
from  her  shoulders. ' ' 


319 


THE  AMERICAN  EVE  " 


21 — Eve's  Second  Husband. 


CHAPTER  XV 


I  HAVE  never  known  how  to  account  for 
the  sensation  Lavinia  Scarrott's  portrait 
of  me  created.     The  moment  the  paint 
was  dry  she  left  with  it  for  Washington.    Two 
weeks  had  passed  since  I  had  heard  from 
Adam,  the  longest  time  that  had  ever  elapsed 
since  our  marriage;  and  after  the  going  of 
Lavinia  my  heart  failed  me  completely.     I 
should  not  have  been  able  to  resist  sending  him 
a  wailing,  contrite  letter  but  for  the  fact  that 
I  had  promised  her  to  wait  two  more  weeks 
before  writing,  in  case  I  did  not  hear  from 
him.    If  you  have  lived  well  and  bravely  you 
323 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

do  not  weep  often  after  you  are  forty.  You 
know  the  childish  futility  of  tears;  but  I 
seemed  to  be  slipping  away  into  one  of  those 
trances  of  sorrow  so  peculiar  to  women.  I 
neglected  the  children  some  and  spent  most 
of  my  time  in  the  garden.  There  were  shrubs 
and  plants  in  it  nearer  my  own  age  and  I 
found  them  more  companionable.  Little 
Adam  made  of  himself  a  nuisance.  He  re 
tained  the  bland,  vacuous  expression  of  his 
infancy  and  a  power  of  silence  that  was  either 
stupid  or  sympathetic  according  to  the  way 
you  interpreted  it.  He  tagged  after  me  with 
unremitting  devotion.  This  may  have  been 
because  the  calico  pony  had  at  last  gone  lame 
and  was  of  no  use,  but  I  have  always  treasured 
the  thought  that  the  child  was  so  kin  to  me 
he  felt  that  something  was  wrong  and  desired 
to  atone  for  it  with  his  own  quaint  devotion. 
He  had  a  knowledge  of  slugs  and  crickets  and 
rosebush  scales  that  Langston  and  Evangeline 
scorned ;  and  he  waxed  fierce  in  his  destruction 
of  these  by  way  of  engaging  my  attention  and 
324 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

winning  my  commendation.  He  was  the  only 
one  who  was  still  young  enough  to  say  his 
prayers  at  my  knee.  One  night  he  added  this 
horrifying  sentence  to  his  little  singsong  peti 
tion  of  "Now  I  lay  me  down  to  sleep ": 

"And  please  damn  all  the  slugs  and  beetles 
and  crickets  and  scales  in  mother's  garden, 
heal  the  pony's  sore  leg  and  have  mercy  on 
father 's  soul ! ' ' 

I  never  was  a  laughing  woman,  but  I  have 
always  believed  that  I  had  somewhere  a 
dumb  sense  of  humor.  Little  Adam  was  the 
only  child  I  had  who  constantly  stirred  it  into 
a  curious  starshine  of  inward  mirth.  The 
other  children  were  brilliant,  like  their  father, 
but  he  was  stupid  like  his  mother.  He  be 
longed  to  life  rather  than  to  mind. 

One  day,  about  ten  days  after  Lavinia's  de 
parture,  the  evening  mail  brought  a  copy  of 
the  "Washington  Post"  sealed  around  the 
middle  with  an  envelope  bandage.  It  was 
addressed  to  me  in  Lavinia's  staccato 
chirography.  On  one  of  the  inside  pages  was 
325 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

a  long  account  of  her  art  exhibit  marked  with 
a  blue  pencil. 

"The  feature  of  the  exhibit, "  wrote  the 
critic,  "was  Miss  Scarrott's  new  picture,  'The 
American  Eve.'  From  the  opening  hour  to 
the  close  her  guests  crowded  before  this  can 
vas,  shocked,  amazed  and  delighted.  The 
figure  is  that  of  an  immense  woman  seated  in 
an  ugly  high-backed  chair  before  an  open 
window,  which  gives  an  Eden  glimpse  at  twi 
light  of  a  garden  filled  with  the  ragged  stalks 
of  American  annuals.  She  is  clothed  in  an 
old-fashioned  gown  with  low  collar,  which 
may  be  said  to  be  illuminated  with  lavender- 
colored  cosmos  blossoms.  The  only  light  in 
the  picture  comes  from  these  flowers  and  those 
dimly  visible  through  the  window.  The  face 
of  the  woman  is  so  turned  into  the  shadows  as 
to  be  veiled,  but  the  features,  great  rather 
than  large,  have  a  sort  of  scriptural  strength 
which  is  rendered  more  significant  on  this  ac 
count,  as  if  she  belonged  far  back  in  the  order 
of  things — Eve,  with  six  thousand  years'  dis- 
326 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tance  between  her  and  the  garish  American 
day;  but  Eve  still,  in  a  new  land,  the  mother 
of  Eden,  with  her  children  looking  kisses  at 
her  from  the  darkening  world  outside.  This, 
in  fact,  is  the  distinction  of  the  artistic  treat 
ment  and  her  method  of  verifying  the  ancient 
woman,  that  the  lilies  beyond  the  windowsill 
lean  with  an  expression  of  kinship  toward  her. 

"  '  Never  before/  exclaimed  one  enthusias 
tic  critic,  'have  I  seen  the  innocent,  childish, 
bedtime  look  upon  the  face  of  any  flower ! ' 

"But  it  was  only  when  some  one  asked, 
'Where  is  Adam?'  that  the  full  significance  of 
the  composition  was  revealed. 

"  ( Can't  you  seel'  exclaimed  the  wife  of  a 
senator,  famous  for  the  sharpness  of  her  wit. 
'He's  left  her!  The  first  man  deserted  the 
first  woman  and  went  off  to  look  for  another 
one!  So  she  waited  for  him  alone  with  her 
children,  the  little  Eden  lilies ;  and  she  coaxed 
him  back  next  day  with  the  apple.  It's  as 
clear  as  sinning  and  sacrifice  to  me ! ' 

"Whether  or  not  this  is  the  true  meaning 
327 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

of  Miss  Scarrott's  picture,  she  has  achieved  a 
piece  of  work  which  is  the  talk  of  the  city. 

"A  circumstance  which  adds  interest  to  the 
discussion  is  the  rumor  that  the  original  of 
the  picture  is  the  wife  of  a  congressman,  noted 
for  his  gallantries  in  Washington  society." 

I  had  scarcely  finished  reading  this  hor 
rifying  sentence  before  a  messenger  arrived 
with  a  special-delivery  letter.  I  was  disap 
pointed  to  see  that  it  was  also  addressed  in 
Lavinia's  handwriting.  She  wrote: 

Dear  Eve :  I  am  sending-  this  by  special  delivery,  with 
the  hope  that  it  will  reach  you  before  Adam  does.  He 
did  not  know  that  I  had  been  away  from  Washington 
and  when  he  came  to  the  exhibit  last  night  the  sight 
of  your  portrait  was  one  of  the  greatest  shocks  of  his 
life.  You  would  have  felt  amply  repaid  for  your  suffer 
ings  on  his  account  if  you  could  have  seen  him  whiten 
before  that  accusing  canvas.  He  was  the  only  person 
present  who  really  understood  it.  He  left  the  room  in 
five  minutes  without  even  speaking  to  me — ungrateful 
brute ! 

Remember  to  keep  a  stiff  upper  lip  when  he  comes. 
He'll  come,  you  may  be  sure. 

Yours  devotedly  and  in  great  haste, 

LAVINIA. 
328 


WE  STOOD  FACING  ONE  ANOTHER  IN  THE  MOONLIGHT  WITH  THE 
FLOWERS  FOR  WITNESSES. 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Bemember  to  keep  a  stiff  upper  lip  when 
he  comes.  Well,  I  '11  make  a  right  smart  effort 
anyway, ' '  I  said,  carefully  refolding  the  lettei 
and  placing  it  securely  within  my  bosom. 

The  children  were  having  supper  with  their 
grandmother.  It  was  already  evening.  The 
night  train  from  the  east  was  nearly  due.  I 
hurriedly  put  on  the  old  cosmos-blossomed 
muslin,  went  out  and  sat  down  upon  the  old 
bench  in  the  garden.  This  seemed  the  best 
way  to  meet  the  emergency  of  Adam 's  coming, 
in  case  he  did  come. 

Presently  I  heard  carriage  wheels  that 
stopped  at  the  front  gate,  then  the  familiar 
tread  of  Adam's  feet  upon  the  walk;  and  in 
the  twinkle  of  a  star  my  whole  mood  changed. 
From  being  a  sad  and  meekly  lonely  woman, 
I  became  the  outraged  wife  and  mother.  My 
heart  steadied  itself  in  my  bosom  with  a 
stronger  beat.  I  felt  the  blood  warm  my  face. 
Adam  appeared  on  the  back  porch — paused. 
The  moon  shone  full  upon  him.  There  was 
not  a  line  of  contrition  in  the  graceful  figure 

QOO 
o.M.7 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

he  made.  His  head  was  up  and  his  face  ex 
pressed  charming  resolution.  That  was  one 
grand  thing  about  Adam.  Nothing  that  could 
be  done  to  him  and  nothing  he  did  to  himself 
ever  lowered  the  flaunting  flag  of  his  bril 
liant  countenance.  He  could  repent  like  a 
child,  but  remorse  was  a  disease  of  the  spirit 
to  which  he  was  immune. 

"Eve !"  he  called,  coming  toward  me  across 
the  petunia  bed  rather  than  around  by  the 
path,  which  was  his  initial  compliment. 

I  arose.  We  stood  facing  one  another  in 
the  moonlight  with  the  flowers  for  witnesses. 
The  wall,  the  dreadful  wall  about  which  so 
many  married  people  know,  began  to  rise  be 
tween  us.  We  both  felt  it  and  he  made  an  at 
tempt  to  kiss  me  before  it  became  too  high. 
It  was  as  if  he  strove  to  reach  me  over  the 
top  of  it.  The  wall  was  composed  of  this :  a 
man  may  do  it  for  a  duty,  but  he  does  not  en 
joy  kissing  a  woman — no  matter  how  good  she 
is — if  she  knows  how  bad  he  is  and  is  in  a 
position  to  make  him  feel  it.  I  received  the 
330 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

kiss  somewhere  in  the  arid  desert  of  my  face, 
as  far  from  my  lips  as  possible — not  to  punish 
him,  but  it  was  the  wall  again.  I  had  arrived 
at  a  certain  geological  period  of  the  affections 
when  they  congeal  into  just  foundations  for 
character. 

We  sat  down  side  by  side  upon  the  bench 
in  silence.  I  held  each  hand  a  prisoner  with 
the  other.  Adam  took  a  little  fold  of  my  gown 
and  smoothed  it  between  his  fingers.  I  was  far 
the  sadder,  more  humiliated  of  the  two  of  us, 
for  I  knew  that  in  spite  of  all  that  had 
transpired  I  was  ready  to  forgive  him.  To 
do  so  was  a  kind  of  shame  to  me.  It  is  the 
only  shame  good  women  ever  know — this  over 
reaching,  divine  love  for  undivine  husbands. 

"Eve,"  he  began  after  a  time,  "I  have  re 
signed." 

"What  for!" 

"For  you." 

"What  will  you  do?" 

"Stay  at  home  by  my  own  fireside,'  with 
you  and  the  children." 
331 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

I  knew  lie  could  never  do  it,  but  it  com 
forted  me  to  think  that  he  could  wish  to  be 
at  home.  He  was  more  a  citizen  man  than 
either  a  husband  or  father.  The  nation  was 
his  hearthstone;  and,  being  forever  unable 
to  govern  himself,  he  had  a  gift  for  governing 
the  people.  This  is  often  the  case.  The  best 
bosses,  governors,  presidents,  kings,  emperors 
— all — are  men  who  lack  self-control  at  some 
point.  So  the  people  obey  them  better,  be 
cause  it  is  not  prudent  to  try  their  patience 
too  far.  This  is  why  God  made  the  man  the 
head  of  the  family — not  because  he  is  good 
enough,  but  because  he  is  so  dangerously  im 
patient  he  commands  obedience. 

I  knew  that  he  expected  me  to  turn  my  fac& 
to  him  after  that  last  sacrificial  avowal,  but 
I  kept  it  resolutely  averted. 

"Adam,  I  think  I  ought  to  tell  you  this:  I 
am  contemplating  a  change." 

"A  change  of  what?'7 

"Of  character. " 

He  laughed  a  little.  Altogether,  he  was 
332 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

much  less  troubled,  less  embarrassed  than  I; 
only  bent  with  a  cheerful  mind  upon  making 
his  peace. 

"You  could  not  change,  Eve,  dear;  not  even 
if  you  were  to  take  a  notion  to  become  the 
stepmother  of  all  the  angels  in  Heaven.  You 
are  from  everlasting  to  everlasting  the  same. 
That  is  what  I  saw  in  the  face  of  the  portrait 
Lavinia  made  of  you.  Eve ! '  '—he  interpolated 
—"that  woman  ought  to  be  suppressed!  She 
is  a  female  Nathan,  a  witch !  Confound  and 
bless  her ! ' ' 

I  ignored  the  tribute  to  Lavinia  and  went 
on: 

"But  you  will  admit  that  I  have  changed 
already. ' '  I  was  thinking  of  the  housef urnish- 
ing  bills. 

"Oh,  no.  You  have  acted  a  little  queerly 
of  late.  Far  be  it  from  me  to  meddle  with 
the  wisdom  of  your  providences,  Eve,  how 
ever  much  they  cost  me — but  you  are  the  same. 
I'll  tell  you  something,  woman!"  he  added, 
with  great  gravity:  "I  believe  you  are  my 
333 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

soul.  That  is  my  faith,  the  only  faith  I  have. 
So  do  not  talk  of  changing.  Yon  are  pre 
destined,  foreordained — the  soul  of  Adam 
West." 

One  of  the  sweetest  texts  in  the  Bible  is  this, 
"For  all  men  are  liars."  If  they  were  not 
the  hearts  of  all  women  would  break.  Now,  as 
we^sat  together,  gray,  middle-aged,  unmindful 
of  the  moonlight  that  would  have  charmed  us 
years  before,  I  knew  that  I  should  never  feel 
the  radiant  happiness  of  being  the  beloved 
young  wife  of  Adam,  my  husband — something 
had  forever  broken  the  spell  of  that  happi^ 
ness ;  but  I  felt  comforted,  as  if  I  were  recover 
ing  from  a  dreadful  pain.  It  was  the  submis- 
sion  I  had  at  last  of  being  willing  to  be  just 
Adam's  soul.  I  could  have  wept.  It  was  like 
being  made  to  ' '  take  the  veil ' '  by  Nature,  with 
Adam  for  the  priest;  but  if  I  was  to  be  just 
his  soul  I  was  resolved  to  get  a  pair  of  new 
wings  for  a  change. 

"Adam,"  I  persisted,  "it  is  kind  of  you 
to  think  so  highly  of  me,  but  I  tell  you  I  am 
334 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

resolved  upon  making  a  change  in  our  life 
together. ' ' 

"How?" 

"Well,  I  do  not  suppose  a  man  knows  any 
thing  about  the  weariness  of  oneness  that 
women  experience  in  marriage,  because  they 
are  never  one  for  long  at  the  time  with  any 
body  but  themselves.  But  women  actually  be 
lieve  that  they  are  'one  flesh'  with  their  hus 
bands.  Eeally,  you  know,  there  is  no  such 
thing.  Nature  and  the  minister  who  per 
forms  the  ceremony  merely  deceive  us.  Now, 
all  these  years  when  you  were  away  in  Nash 
ville  and  Washington  I  thought  of  myself  as 
being  one  with  you ;  I  lived  in  that  conscious 
ness.  ' ' 

"Well?"  said  Adam,  staring  at  me  steadily, 
as  a  brave  man  faces  his  calamity. 

It  was  difficult  to  explain,  although  I  had 
a  very  definite  conviction  about  it,  and  I 
stumbled  on,  trying  to  tell  him. 

"What  I  mean  is  that  it  was  a  mistake  to 

be  the  wife  of  just  you " 

335 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"God!"  he  ejaculated,  as  if  he  were  listen 
ing  to  blasphemy  from  the  lips  of  a  babe. 

"I've  got  to  be  from  now  on  the  wife  of 
what  yon  are." 

"Oh,  Lord !  Eve !"  he  cried,  taking  his  head 
in  his  hands  and  wagging  it  gently  to  and 
fro.  "Say  it  plain,  so  that  I  can  understand 
it." 

"Well,  I  mean  that  I  should  have  been  the 
wife  of  Congressman  West  in  Washington,  not 
merely  the  relic  of  Adam,  left  behind  here  in 
the  garden.  And  I  mean  that  in  future,  what 
ever  you  are,  I  shall  be  the  wife  of  that." 

A  man  can  make  a  woman  feel  like  a  fool 
when  she  is  not.  Adam  did  it  tiow.  He  looked 
at  me  wonderingly  a  moment ;  then  he  began 
to  snicker  and  paw  at  me  the  way  a  husband 
does  when  he  wants  to  make  fun  of  his  wife 
by  taking  her  in  his  arms.  But  I  held  back. 

"I  am  in  earnest,  Adam." 

"About  what!" 

"Well,  you  know  that  you  will  never  be 
contented  to  live  here  in  Booneville.  You 
336 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

will  go  back  into  public  life — and  I  am  in 
earnest  about  not  staying  here  when  you  are 
somewhere  else." 

"You  are  willing,  then,  that  I  shall  con 
tinue  in  public  life ! ' ' 

I  saw  that  he  was  immensely  relieved  and 
I  went  on  pleasing  him.  It  was  the  old  mo 
tive  of  Eve  with  the  apple. 

"You  promised  when  we  were  married  that 
you  would  make  me  the  wife  of  the  Governor 
of  Tennessee. "  I  could  not  resist  smiling  at 
him,  I  felt  so  good  and  kind  to  him,  as  a  wo 
man  feels  when  she  knows  she  is  doing  ex 
actly  what  her  husband  wants. 

"And  you  shall  be,"  he  exclaimed,  de 
lighted. 

"But,  remember,  the  children  and  I  are 
coming  with  you  after  this. ' ' 

"Of  course!" 

"We  will  live  in  the  governor's  mansion. 
That  will  save  house  rent." 

"I  wonder  I  never  thought  of  that  before," 
he  murmured. 

aa— Eve's  Second  Husband.          337 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

"Of  what?" 

1 '  Of  the  fact  that  being  governor  would  en 
able  us  to  save  house  rent, ' '  he  answered  with 
suspicious  simplicity. 

So  it  was  settled  that  he  would  be  a  candi 
date  in  the  next  race  for  governor.  As  a  mat 
ter  of  fact,  he  entered  it  at  once  against 
Clancy  Drew,  his  old-time  antagonist. 

Between  caucuses  and  speeches  Adam  was 
at  home  with  us.  This  was  good  for  us  as 
well  as  for  him.  He  assumed,  for  example, 
a  stern-father  attitude  toward  Langston,  who 
was  growing  into  a  big,  unmanageable  cub  of 
a  boy.  Langston,  I  believe,  had  more  moral 
stamina  than  his  father ;  still  it  did  the  child 
good  to  feel  a  father's  sophisticated  eye  upon 
him.  For  he  was  not  sufficiently  informed 
about  Adam's  weakness  to  suspect  that  he 
had  any.  My  one  persistent  maternal  lie  was 
to  teach  the  children  that  their  father  was  one 
of  the  best  men  in  the  world,  one  of  the  great 
est  in  the  nation  and  by  all  odds  the  greatest 
in  Tennessee.  When  they  are  old  enough  to 
338 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

know  better  their  characters  will  be  formed 
and  it  will  not  injure  them  so  much  to  learn 
the  other  truth  about  him.  This  is  fortunate, 
that  our  children  are  not  in  a  position  to  weigh 
us  in  the  balance  and  find  us  wanting  until 
after  we  have  done  them  all  the  good  we  can 
by  assuming  the  air  of  being  better  than  we 
are. 

My  own  relations  to  Adam  were  delicate 
and  required  much  consideration,  for  I  dis 
covered  as  time  passed  that  the  moral  short 
age  of  which  he  was  guilty  in  Washington  had 
really  given,  me  the  "drop"  on  him,  so  to 
speak.  When  a  woman  gets  the  drop  on  her 
husband  she  is  in  a  much  more  dangerous 
position  than  he  is,  because  it  is  so  easy  to  kill 
him  as  a  husband ;  and,  once  he  breaks  bond, 
he  is  readier  to  do  it  again — he  is  so  really 
willing  to  be  killed  as  a  husband.  This  leaves 
the  wife  in  the  anomalous  and  embarrassing 
position  of  being  his  widow,  with  him  still 
living  in  the  house  with  her. 

What  I  mean  by  having  the  drop  on  him  is 
339 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

this:  He  was  in  the  breach  he  had  made  in 
our  marriage  with  his  hands  up  and  no  de 
fense  possible.  It  is  a  ticklish  place  for  a  man 
to  be  in  before  a  woman,  very  threatening  to 
his  egotism,  npon  which  so  much  of  the  best 
part  of  his  character  depends  and  which  must 
be  wounded  as  little  as  possible  for  this  reason. 
Once  you  damage  a  man's  egotism,  you  have 
injured  his  personal  ideal  of  himself,  to  which 
he  will  cling  otherwise  in  spite  of  the  most 
scandalous  evidence  against  it.  You  have  re 
duced  him  to  his  littleness  instead  of  raising 
him  to  his  possible  greatness,  which  is  the 
most  solemn  and  binding  duty  of  every  honor 
able  wife. 

For  this  reason  the  Washington  affair  has 
never  been  mentioned  between  us.  But  I  am 
very  certain  that  he  soon  forgot  the  doggerel 
woman.  This  is  the  deserved  punishment  of 
all  evil  women — they  are  so  easily,  thankfully 
dead,  buried  and  forgotten  by  men,  especially 
the  men  who  swear  devotion  to  them.  It  was 
quite  different  with  me.  It  always  is  with  the 
340 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

wife.  She  never  can  forget  the  woman  who 
has  robbed  her.  I  reckon  I  have  thought 
oftener  of  the  one  in  Adam's  life  than  of  the 
grandest  man  or  woman  living.  She  is 
buried,  not  so  much  upon  the  green  hillside  of 
Adam's  cheerful  forgetfulness  as  in  the  ceme 
tery  lot  of  my  heart,  where  she  has  the  ad 
vantage  of  being  a  scandalous  little  ghost,  who 
rises  and  walks  before  me.  In  spite  of  this 
apparition  I  spent  a  good  deal  of  my  time  that 
autumn  learning  to  understand  Adam  and  put 
ting  the  best  face  I  could  upon  what  had  hap 
pened,  so  that  I  should  be  less  at  a  loss  to 
account  for  the  fact  that  I  loved  him  more 
dearly  than  ever. 

The  conclusion  I  came  to  was  this :  We  are 
not  the  same  in  the  open  that  we  are  at  home, 
in  the  environment  where  we  first  learned 
manners  and  morals.  That  is  why  women  be 
have  better  than  men  do.  They  stay  at  home 
in  the  exact  environment  where  they  first 
learned  to  pray  and  behave  themselves.  But 
at  the  most  dangerous  periods  of  adolescence 
341 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

men  get  out  into  the  world,  which  is  always 
"wide  open,"  where  manners  are  different 
and  morals  are  determined  more  or  less  by 
circumstances.  The  rules  governing  both 
change.  A  man  is  respectable  if  he  is  truth 
ful  and  honest,  even  when  he  gives  license  to 
all  his  appetites.  And  women  whose  lives  are 
sweet  parodies  of  saintliness  at  home  often 
have  no  conscience  in  the  business  world.  It 
is  at  home  with  their  husband  and  children 
that  they  show  to  the  best  advantage. 

While  I  was  fitting  up  a  system  of  philoso 
phy  sufficiently  broad  and  forbearing  to  ac 
count  for  all  his  transgressions,  he  was  in  and 
out  making  political  speeches  over  the  state. 
One  thing  I  have  noticed  about  a  public  man's 
vocabulary :  it  is  a  kind  of  vocative  currency 
which  continually  enhances  in  value.  In  time 
it  is  composed  of  all  the  great  and  good  and 
patient  words  in  the  language.  They  are 
chosen  to  fit  the  national  ideals,  not  the  char 
acter  of  the  man  who  utters  them.  So  Clancy 
Drew's  little,  thin,  local  phrases  sounded  like 
342 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

tinkling  cymbals  beside  the  booming  sentences 
which  now  flowed  from  Adam 's  lips  so  grace 
fully,  and  which  he  had  collected  in  the  larger 
vision  of  things  at  Washington.  He  propped 
the  commonwealth  of  Tennessee  with  just  his 
vocabulary  and  somehow  convinced  the  people 
that  it  would  go  into  the  hands  of  a  receiver 
if  he  were  not  elected  governor.  Clancy  stood 
for  reform  and  public  righteousness ;  and,  as 
nearly  as  I  could  make  out,  Adam  stood  for 
democracy — Jeffersonian ;  " Early  Bird"  and 
' '  Cascade '  '  brand — for  ' i  the  heroes  who  wore 
the  gray"  and  a  few  other  less  important 
things.  He  proclaimed  reverently  and 
seriously,  with  a  high  look  upon  his  brow,  that 
he  wanted  every  man  to  remain  sober  and  be 
have  himself. 

"But,  fellow  citizens,"  he  exclaimed  to  an 
enthusiastic  audience  at  Molly  's-borough, 
"this  is  a  matter  too  sacred  to  be  dragged  in 
the  political  mire  and  one  which  every  God 
fearing  man  must  decide  for  himself,  no  mat 
ter  who  is  elected  Governor  of  Tennessee!" 
343 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

Adam  knew  well  enough  that  the  Democrats 
in  Tennessee  dodge  God  more  than  they  fear 
Him. 

Clancy  Drew  stood  no  chance  from  the 
first.  You  have  to  stand  for  what  is  in  peo 
ple's  minds,  not  for  what  is  in  their  Bibles, 
if  you  want  to  get  elected.  This  is  not  com 
plimentary  to  them,  but  it  is  the  truth,  which 
Clancy's  defeat  verified  once  more.  Adam 
was  nominated  in  the  spring  and  elected  with 
out  opposition  the  following  November. 


344 


A  GREAT  VANITY  SATISFIED 


CHAPTER  XVI 

A  GBEAT  VANITY  SATISFIED 

I  AM  coming  to  the  end  now.    By  far  the 
grandest  part  of  our  lives  has  been  lived 
here  in  Nashville,  but  we  have  added 
nothing  to  our  scriptures.    I  reckon  some  will 
think  I  ought  to  write  out  a  riot  scene  and 
have  Adam  assassinated,  and  that  I  ought  to 
close  this  story  with  his  body  exposed  in  the 
state  capitol  with  two  or  three  thousand  dol 
lars'  worth  of  flowers  around  the  bier  and 
everybody  walking  by  in  a  long  procession  to 
view  the  remains ;  but  if  the  novelists  who  end 
their  stories  with  the  hero's  funeral  had  to  lay 
out  their  own  husband  as  the  corpse  they 
347 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

would  not  be  so  free  about  letting  death  into 
the  last  chapter.  We  are  both  living,  thank 
Heaven!  Adam  is  still  a  better  statesman 
than  he  is  a  husband  or  father,  but  I  do  not 
worry  as  much  as  I  did  over  his  faults.  They 
are  the  sadder  part  of  him,  which  renders  him 
dearer  to  me.  As  a  woman  goes  on,  every 
thing  thrusts  her  closer  to  her  husband.  The 
children  have  grown  up  and  are  forming  other 
ties.  And  mother's  death,  in  particular,  has 
made  me  more  dependent  on  Adam. 

One  morning,  just  a  year  ago,  we  received 
a  telegram  from  father  saying  that  mother 
was  ill  and  that  her  life  was  despaired  of. 
Adam  and  I  hurried  to  Booneville  on  the  next 
train.  We  reached  mother's  bedside  that 
evening.  The  old  house  was  very  cold  and 
still,  like  a  body  out  of  which  a  warm,  good 
spirit  is  passing.  Father  was  sitting  by  the 
window  in  mother's  room,  looking  like  an 
old  child  in  the  face,  frightened  and  silent. 
Doctor  Marks  was  seated  by  the  bed,  holding 
mother's  hand,  with  his  eyes  fixed  on  her  face. 
348 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

It  was  the  first  time  I  had  ever  seen  him  in 
father's  house;  the  first  time,  I  believe,  in  all 
the  years  since  their  youth,  that  mother  had 
spoken  to  him.  We  had  always  had  the  other 
young  doctor  when  any  of  us  were  ill.  Father 
told  me  afterward  that  she  asked  for  him 
when  she  realized  her  condition.  She  took  no 
notice  of  Adam  or  of  me  when  we  came  in. 
She  was  lying  transfigured  in  her  own  smile. 
No  one  could  have  believed,  to  look  at  her, 
that  she  was  nearly  seventy  years  old.  It 
was  queer — as  if  she  had  put  on  her  girlhood 
for  a  shroud ;  as  if  she  had  been  keeping  it  all 
this  time,  fair  and  sweet,  for  this  supreme  last 
moment  with  the  lover  of  her  youth. 

"Do  you  remember,  David,  the  day  we  be 
came  engaged,  how  beautiful  everything  was, 
and  you  said  it  was  our  happiness  that  made 
so  many  flowers  bloom  that  day?" 

"Yes,  I  remember,  Mary,"  he  answered. 

"I  made  a  mistake  after  that.  I  do  not 
know  why ;  but  when  I  understood  I  set  myself 
to  do  a  long  penance.  I  made  a  vow  to  be  just 
349 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND. 

good  and  I  have  tried.  I  have  never  had  an 
ambition  or  hope  like  other  women.  I  have 
never  protected  myself  from  sorrow.  And  I 
have  always  wanted  yon  to  know." 

"I  did  know,  Mary,  and  I  have  been  walking 
behind  you  all  the  way.  We  have  been  to 
gether.  " 

"I  have  felt  it  and  there  have  been  times 
when  it  troubled  me.  I  was  afraid  it  was  not 
right  for  us  to  be  together  so  near  all  these 
years,  with  never  a  word  to  part  us.  0  Da 
vid!  I  have  worried  so  for  fear  it  was  not 
right,  Wouldn't  it  be  terrible  if  I  have  been 
an  evil  woman! — if  my  feet  have  taken  hold 
on  hell  for  you!"  Her  sweet  eyes  searched 
him;  her  voice  rose  to  a  cry. 

' i  Don 't,  Mary !  Don 't  say  such  sacrilegious 
things  about  yourself.  There  will  not  be  an 
angel  in  heaven  fit  to  kiss  your  feet ! ' ' 

He  began  to  weep,  but  she  smiled  again. 

"That  is  the  dear  way  you  always  talked 
to  me,  David.  I  have  tried,  but  I  never  could 
forget  them — some  of  the  things  you  said. 
350 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

They  have  been  like  little  golden  texts,  hang 
ing  too  high  for  me  to  reach  or  destroy.  I 
did  not  want  them  to  comfort  me,  but  they 
did." 

She  seemed  to  doze  for  a  time,  keeping- 
tight  hold  of  his  hands.  Presently  she  opened 
her  eyes  and  went  on: 

"Do  you  think  I  did  the  best  I  could,  Da 
vid?" 

"I  know  it,  Mary." 

' '  I  have  not  been  like  other  women.  I  never 
could  be  sure  that  I  was  good.  It's  been  ter 
rible  to  live  so  long  and  not  to  know,"  she 
whispered,  as  if  she  were  telling  him  the  deep 
est  secret  of  her  heart. 

Then  Doctor  Marks  gave  his  greatest  pre 
scription  and  put  a  soul  out  of  pain  that  had 
suffered  a  lifetime. 

1 '  The  reason  you  could  not  know  was  this : 
None  of  us  can  bear  the  sight  of  perfect  good 
ness.  It  blinds  us.  That  is  why  God  is  in 
visible.  So  you  could  not  see  yourself.  Your 
eyes  have  been  holden.  They  will  be  in  Para- 
351 


EVE'S  SECOND  HUSBAND 

dise.  You  will  never  know,  never  be  able  to 
imagine,  how  ineffably  good  you  have  been. 
I  do  not  know,  either.  It  is  God's  secret. " 

At  last  she  was  comforted.  Some  great 
vanity  in  her  was  satisfied.  Never  once  dur 
ing  the  night  that  followed  did  she  recognize 
or  even  see  any  other  person  in  the  room. 
She  passed  away  in  the  dawn,  shriven  by  her 
old  lover,  with  a  peace  upon  her  face  that  was 
young  and  fair. 

Father  survived  her  only  a  few  months.  No 
one  had  suspected — least  of  all  himself — that 
mother  was  the  very  wellspring  of  his  ex 
istence.  He  had  not  loved  her  and  she  had 
not  loved  him,  but  for  many  years  she  had 
been  his  dependence,  his  sustenance,  his  habit 
of  life.  He  had  been  uprooted  by  her  death. 
He  died  of  a  strange  starvation— the  famine 
of  a  small  nature. 


THE  END 
352 


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